Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️
The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊 The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊
We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan to We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan today and here's how it went. Have you ever brought kids to one of these appointments??
Bet you thought we were done!! 😂 We've kept it Bet you thought we were done!! 😂 We've kept it our little secret for a while but I'm so excited to let the cat out of the bag that baby #3 will be here March 2023 💙💗💗
When we know a new foster placement is coming, we When we know a new foster placement is coming, we might have a couple days or just a couple hours to prepare 😳 In any case, these are a few of the things we try to get done beforehand that help us to be more "in the moment" when he or she arrives. Would you add anything to this list?
The thing about not so simple times is that they r The thing about not so simple times is that they really make you appreciate the simple ones 🖤 

So grateful for this little fam of ours and let me just say, now that we live in the south, fall has definitely become my favorite season 🍂 The weather is 👌👌👌 meaning I can sit outside for more than 5 minutes and not break a sweat. There's so many fun festivals, and the kids go crazy pointing out all the spooky Halloween decorations and fall colors 🎃 I wish I could slow down the stage of life we're in but making memories like these will do the trick.
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Guest Post, Marriage, Relationships · March 28, 2016

3 Ways to Stay Connected to Your Spouse

Even on the worst of days, you can find at least one good thing to focus on and that one little thing can make all the difference.

This post was written by my blogger friend, Amberly, from A Prioritized Marriage (bio below!)

Earlier this year, I read an article that talked about the things that we need to stop telling married couples. The premise of the article is that currently married couples are too often downplaying how great that union can really be. Rather than sharing all of the joy that marriage brings to our lives, we give them the idea that after a certain amount of time, the love in your relationship dies. We tell couples that things will be different after the first year, after they have kids, etc. While every stage of life brings with it unique challenges that require you to make adjustments as a team, you can keep that just married excitement and love alive throughout your life together. You have the power to determine how life and the obstacles that it throws your way will affect your marriage. You can choose find joy or you can choose to let things drag you down and turn your relationship into exactly what some couples say that it will be, loveless.

Personally, I choose to find joy in my relationship every day and continue to build the love in my marriage. Even on the worst of days, you can find at least one good thing to focus on and that one little thing can make all the difference.

Start a Journal for Your Relationship

This can be a gratitude journal, a good moments journal, a memories journal, whatever you want it to be. The important thing is that you are looking for at least one positive thing to write in it every day. If your spouse will participate and write down one thing as well, that’s even better! Take note of something your spouse did that you’re grateful for or really appreciated, a moment when you knew they loved you, a trait of theirs that you admire or something memorable that happened that you don’t want to forget. You’ll find that the more you are looking for positive things to write in your journal, the more joy you’ll have in your life and the more joy you will get from your marriage. When we shift our focus, our attitude and the things around us change as well.

Talk Often

When you talk to your spouse, make sure that you are not only talking about how your day has gone and all of the things that go into running your household. Just like when you were dating, you should still be talking about your hopes and dreams both as individuals and as a couple, your current interests and disinterests, and the things that you like to do for fun together. You may think you know everything about each other, but things change over time and there is always something new that you can learn about your spouse. The day to day workings of your household are important, but they won’t keep the spark alive  in your marriage the way that the fun conversations will. If you struggle to find a way to get those relationship building conversations going, there are a lot of great books and games that can help you get started. I shared one of my favorites in a post on my blog a few months ago.

Create a Ritual

Rituals are a great tool for strengthening family and couple relationships. Knowing that you have that one special thing planned for the two of you will give you something to look forward to. When life gets tough, you can find a glimmer of sunshine together through your traditions. Whether it’s a walk around the neighborhood, a bowl of ice cream or a special treat before bed, watching an episode of your favorite show together weekly (or daily if it’s on Netflix), afternoon naps on the weekend or anything else. Find something that the two of you enjoy doing together, decide why that thing is meaningful to you as a couple, and start to make it a habit. If you want to add rituals later on down the road, or if your ritual needs to change depending on your stage in life, that is ok too. Just make sure to always have a little something out of the ordinary that you are doing together.

Having a happy, joy filled marriage no matter your stage in life or how long you’ve been together is possible, but you have to put forth effort in order for that to happen. If you are willing to make your spouse a priority on a daily basis, you won’t end up in the type of marriage that some people think is normal. You can be as happy as you were the day that you were married for your entire lives!

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Amberly
Amberly is a Family Studies major who believed that quality time, traditions, and communication help to build healthy relationships. She blogs about marriage because she wants to inspire other couples to put their marriage first strive to build a better relationship with each other and create the best marriage they can!
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  • 3 Ways to Stay Connected to Your Spouse - March 28, 2016

In: Guest Post, Marriage, Relationships · Tagged: communication, connect, forgive, husband, journal, joy, love, marriage, Relationships, ritual, walk, wife

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Comments

  1. Rachel @ Countdowns and Cupcakes says

    April 8, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    I love the ritual idea! We focus on turning off the TV and putting down the phones at dinner. It helps us actually focus on each other!

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:22 pm

      That’s a great ritual to have!! Technology can be such a distraction when you’re trying to spend quality time together.

  2. Dana says

    April 8, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    Communication is key! At the end of the day you are partners and need to be on the same page!

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:20 pm

      Yes! And to be aware of what the other person is thinking.

  3. Ashley L says

    April 8, 2016 at 3:31 pm

    I love the journal tip because I recently started doing that for my husband. I have a “Why I Love You” journal and I continually record things he does that remind me of why I love him. It could be something as simple as taking out the bathroom trash after my, ummm, “time of the month” or something as big as buying me an unexpected gift. He struggles w/ depression and anxiety so that journal is a great resource he can turn to when he’s feeling depressed and needs reminders of how great he is and why he is so important to me.

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:21 pm

      I love that! And it has a very practical application for him personally it sounds like! Thanks for sharing Ashley!

  4. Brittany Putman says

    April 8, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    I feel like communication in marriage is everything! And it’s not just that you talk but how you talk to each other. Awesome post, Amberly!

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:19 pm

      How you talk to each other is very important! Thanks Brittany 🙂

  5. Jen says

    April 8, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    Communication is absolutely key!

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:18 pm

      Definitely! Without communication, nothing else will work.

  6. Cori says

    April 8, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    When you have company, try to take a few moments each day to have to yourself and talk openly about whatever. Sometimes you can’t say what you want/need to when company is around.

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:18 pm

      That’s a great idea!! 🙂 I love it. Thanks for sharing Cori!

  7. Chelsea says

    April 8, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    I love the idea of journaling about your relationship. I journal about my own life and have never thought about journaling about my own relationship! What a great tactic.

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:16 pm

      I bet you put a bit about your relationship in your personal journal! It’s just fun to have a journal that the two of you are working to fill with great things about your relationship.

  8. Amanda | Maple Alps says

    April 8, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    Great tips. My husband and I hardly see each other all day, so at night, it’s not uncommon for us to be up talking till hours we should probably be sleeping in. Oops! But it’s so worth it.

  9. Lindsay says

    April 8, 2016 at 7:09 pm

    I couldn’t agree more. It’s so important to cultivate and nurture that special relationship with your spouse. I feel like often times, people forget that they’re in it TOGETHER.
    I enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:15 pm

      Thank you Lindsay! I love that you pointed out people are in it together! 🙂 Everything is easier and better when you’re doing it as a team!

  10. Kalyn says

    April 8, 2016 at 7:34 pm

    I definitely agree that keeping communication open and honest is key to having a relationship healthy. I enjoy talking with my husband about every day ordinary things and the big things. He is my favorite person to talk to!

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      It’s definitely a good sign when your husband is your favorite person to talk to!

  11. Jenny says

    April 8, 2016 at 9:02 pm

    Such an awesome post! As someone who is about to be married in a few months – this post will truly come in handy.

    xoxo, Jenny

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:11 pm

      Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Married life is my favorite 🙂

  12. Susannah says

    April 8, 2016 at 10:29 pm

    These are such fabulous tips! It gets so discouraging to me when I hear time and time again people downplay the wonderful aspects of marriage. Sure marriage is hard but, if done right, it’s the best kind of hard! <3

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:12 pm

      Yes! Exactly!!! I feel like too often in society, we focus on the “limiting” things about marriage. But marriage doesn’t have to be limiting at all!!!

  13. Ashleigh says

    April 9, 2016 at 7:28 am

    This is great… wonderful tips! Communication and talking often is such a key to success in a marriage! That feeling of being connected is so important. Thank you for sharing!

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      Communication is definitely a key to success! Thanks Ashleigh!

  14. ruthie says

    April 10, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    “Knowing that you have that one special thing planned for the two of you will give you something to look forward to.” This is so true!! Ben and I need to get better at being intentional! Loved this post!

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:19 pm

      It takes effort to be intentional and I’m not as perfect at it as I’d like right now either! Thanks for commenting Ruthie!

  15. Andriana | A Love Worth Living For says

    December 13, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    Love these ideas! I agree dreaming and talking about the future together is a great way to build connection. Love the ritual idea!

    • Amberly says

      December 14, 2016 at 6:05 pm

      It is such a great thing to do to dream for the future! It gives you something to look forward to and something to work toward as well.

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Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️

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Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️
The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊 The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊
We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan to We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan today and here's how it went. Have you ever brought kids to one of these appointments??
Bet you thought we were done!! 😂 We've kept it Bet you thought we were done!! 😂 We've kept it our little secret for a while but I'm so excited to let the cat out of the bag that baby #3 will be here March 2023 💙💗💗
When we know a new foster placement is coming, we When we know a new foster placement is coming, we might have a couple days or just a couple hours to prepare 😳 In any case, these are a few of the things we try to get done beforehand that help us to be more "in the moment" when he or she arrives. Would you add anything to this list?
The thing about not so simple times is that they r The thing about not so simple times is that they really make you appreciate the simple ones 🖤 

So grateful for this little fam of ours and let me just say, now that we live in the south, fall has definitely become my favorite season 🍂 The weather is 👌👌👌 meaning I can sit outside for more than 5 minutes and not break a sweat. There's so many fun festivals, and the kids go crazy pointing out all the spooky Halloween decorations and fall colors 🎃 I wish I could slow down the stage of life we're in but making memories like these will do the trick.
If I was a... according to Josh 😋 What would yo If I was a... according to Josh 😋 What would your spouse say?? #ifiwasachallenge

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