5 Ways Becoming a Parent Has Made Me Stop Giving a Crap

"I must warn you, right after you have your baby, don’t look at Instagram for a while. Instagram is a lying devil. You’ll see mamas who look like they’ve just had a blowout at the salon holding their precious newborn in the hospital bed and you’ll be all “like, waaaaaat?????” You, on the other hand will look sweaty, tired, puffy, mushy, and- yes- still pregnant. After I had baby #1, I was worried that walking into Wal-Mart, people would stop to ask me how far along I was. “Uhhh, negative 2 weeks.” Then I had to tell myself, “Who gives a care.” Don’t look at them looking at you. You just worry about that gorgeous, precious baby you pooped out over there."

1 | When you first have a baby, you look like crap

I must warn you, right after you have your baby, don’t look at Instagram for a while. Instagram is a lying devil. You’ll see mamas who look like they’ve just had a blowout at the salon holding their precious newborn in the hospital bed and you’ll be all “like, waaaaaat?????” You, on the other hand will look sweaty, tired, puffy, mushy, and- yes- still pregnant. After I had baby #1, I was worried that walking into Wal-Mart, people would stop to ask me how far along I was. “Uhhh, negative 2 weeks.” Then I had to tell myself, “Who gives a care.” Don’t look at them looking at you. You just worry about that gorgeous, precious baby you pooped out over there.

My biggest tip for new mamas in the hospital?

Take a shower as soon as you’re able to and pack a tinted moisturizer (I use this one). You don’t have to look like you’re going to the prom, but if makeup is a regular thing for you, a tinted moisturiser might be just enough to help you feel less self conscious and enjoy the visits you get in the hospital.

2 | You will always be scatterbrained

You know how pregnancy brain is a thing? Just wait for mom brain. If you’re already a mom, you know it’s worse. I worked full-time when I had our first baby. Yes, I had some cute pregnancy brain mishaps, but when I returned to work after having that baby, it returned with a vengeance! I noticed such a difference!

You know why it’s worse?

Because now you actually have another human to worry about. Never mind pregnancy brain, that baby is still in there safe and snug. But now that there’s a helpless human being to think about, that’s all 85% of your brain is going to do! As much as you try to get it to focus on work stuff or being with friends or with your husband, your mind will always return to your children.

And that’s not because you’re obsessed with and only find your identity in your children.

I’m a huge advocate for mamas making time to follow their passions and hobbies and finding an identity that reaches further than their children. Take me, for example: I love to blog- obviously. I also love to work out, I work as a freelance writer, and I love to do crazy things with my hair (like chop it all off or dye it pink- get the look– ha!). But even so, my babies are never fully out of my mind- ever. Pretty much all the time, I feel as though my brain is being pulled in 30 different directions. So when you’re getting ready in the morning, for several years doing anything more than that tinted moisturizer will be an accomplishment. You’ll learn to manage it though. It’ll also make you an awesome multitasker. So there’s that.

3 | You grow to love what’s fast, comfortable, and practical

Don’t worry. I’m not saying you’ll for sure turn to mom-jeans and velcro sneakers, although I hear they’re making a comeback…

But the clothes you pick out in the store will probably change a bit.

For instance…

If you’re breastfeeding, dresses are out for a while- unless they’re “easy access” on the top. I forgot about that unfortunate fact last week when I bought a cute sleeveless crewneck dress. Oh well. Hopefully it’ll still be in style next year…

Even if you’re not breastfeeding, you know that you’re always going to be climbed on and pulled on. So stretchy v-necks should always be worn with caution. I got this comment on an Instagram photo the other day:

Don’t fret, my dear. Luckily there are so many ways to dress cute and comfy and fool people into thinking that you actually tried! Suckers.

4 | You view the world differently

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something about having kids made me feel a bit more… transcendent (if you will). Not God-like- oh no. But I feel much less involved in petty issues if that makes sense. If I cared about haters in the past, they don’t cross my mind anymore- I’m too busy for them. And honestly, I kind of just views them as children anyway. If I was self conscious about my appearance before, I remember now that I can turn it on and dress myself up (which I do and all mamas really should do from time to time), but this morning just isn’t one of those mornings. Even though I’m only 26, I feel like I see the world as if I’m 36. It’s my theory that the older we get, the less we give a crap. And children, as much as they may or may not age you on the outside, they’ll for sure age you in the inside! Not in a bad way, though. I actually love how much my babies have helped me mature and let go of my insecurities!!

Which leads me to my last point:

5 | I try to be the person I want my kids to be

I’m convinced that being a parent has brought out the best in me. Like I said before, I see the world so much differently now! I see the word from the eyes of a parent! One of my greatest fears is having my daugher see me put on makeup every morning and worry about having tight enough skin, and then assuming that she needs to be worrying about those things too. How can I convince my daughter that she is perfect the way God made her and not believe the same thing for myself? She is one of my biggest motivators for getting my butt to the gym in the morning. I want her to see me living a healthy, active lifestyle where I take care of myself. And while she will see me put on makeup, she’ll also see me go out without it. She’ll see me in my mom bun- a lot. And she’ll also see me take time to style my hair, because I think it looks nice that way. And I’ll teach her how to do that too, if she wants. That is, when her hair is long enough!

What about you, mama? Do you have any poor clothing choice stories to share? In what ways have you stopped giving a crap after having kids? Comment below and let’s be mom friends.

"I must warn you, right after you have your baby, don’t look at Instagram for a while. Instagram is a lying devil. You’ll see mamas who look like they’ve just had a blowout at the salon holding their precious newborn in the hospital bed and you’ll be all “like, waaaaaat?????” You, on the other hand will look sweaty, tired, puffy, mushy, and- yes- still pregnant. After I had baby #1, I was worried that walking into Wal-Mart, people would stop to ask me how far along I was. “Uhhh, negative 2 weeks.” Then I had to tell myself, “Who gives a care.” Don’t look at them looking at you. You just worry about that gorgeous, precious baby you pooped out over there."

This post contains affiliate links. Don’t worry though, these are all things I love and have tried myself.
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    Comments

    Karen Morse

    Parenting will teach you so many things! It’s amazing how one child can change the way parents especially mom see the world. These are actually beautiful ways!

    Jessica Joachim

    I love this. Being a parent has really changed my priorities. I now care a bit less about how my house looks, or my makeup, and care more about making memories. I have learned some things can wait, but kid’s don’t wait.

    Ayanna @ 21FlavorsofSplendor

    Love all your points and totally agree! I believe mom-brain is totally a thing we all will suffer from all our lives and I’ve just learned to live with it. #5 really hit home for me because I have 3 daughters and I want to always be wth biggest role model in their lives.

    Alicia McCallum

    I love these so much and totally relate!!! Number 5 was my favourite. It is so true for me and I have never heard someone else say it before! Also the practical, comfy clothes… my little girl is always pulling my shirt down at awkward times so I am so much more focussed on practicality when I buy my clothes now! I loved this post!! Also, do you have any tips for finding cute but practical-for-a-mom clothes? Cause you’re so good at it!

    Allison R Lancaster

    Yess! I was just talking last night about how much I forget things now that I’m a mom! I also have become so quick at certain things like diaper changing, etc. – my husband is amazed at how fast I can wrangle our toddler into a shirt haha.

    Robin Rue

    I am so scatterbrained it’s not even funny! It’s getting worse, too. I thought when my kids got older It would get better, but nope LOL.

    Melissa Chapman

    Your thoughts are all so true. Superficial things start to matter a lot less at the beginning because you have a new life to protect but I am 12 years removed from a newborn so bring on the Botox.

    Tanya @ Mom's Small Victories

    Yes, yes, yes, yes AND yes! With 3 sons and a chronic illness, I am right there with you on being completely brain fried, and appreciating the lazy, comfortable and practical. If I can get in pajamas by 4:30pm, it’s a great day! 🙂

    Jeanine

    I have 7 kids and feel like I could have written this myself. All so true. I am scatter brained every single day and some days it gets even worse!

    Amanda Love

    I have 4 and it’s crazy! The craziest would be when I first had a child, so many things changed and I needed to adjust fast. You will eventually stop caring along the way, lol.

    reesa

    As time is going on, I am giving fewer and fewer craps LOL! It’s amazing how much priorities change thanks to our kids!

    Carolyn

    I agree with all your points. I even said I wouldn’t drive a minivan and then I got one and now rave about it. It makes my life so much better that I think others are ridiculous for saying they won’t do it, they are just making their life more difficult. 🙂

    Lynnette Joselly

    fast, comfortable and practical. Yup that sounds just about right! I have a few mom friends and have noticed a lot of the things you listed.

    Cindy Ingalls

    I couldn’t agree with this post more. You can’t give a crap about a lot of things once you become a mom. There is too much to do and your child’s needs are more important.

    Blythe Alpern

    I think the best advice in this area is not giving a crap about what others think. It’s amazing how many people love to mom shame others. How about minding your own business and taking care of your own.

    Charlotte

    haha! this, this, this! It is so true, I definitely have less of a tolerance for rubbish now that I am a parent but I do remember being really self conscious in the hospital about how pregnant I still looked, this time around I don’t think I will care as much

    Jenny

    AHAH these are all so true. Having a kids definitely reminds you what is important and makes you stop caring about all the rest.

    Angela Bethea

    Haha Stop viewing instagram for a while to prevent insecurities unless tou are browsing for a cute baby outfit for you little one or party inspiration for his first birthday.

    @chelsealeighdamon