Now that we still have some sunlight hanging aroun Now that we still have some sunlight hanging around after the kids go to bed, my new thing is sipping a glass of wine on the back patio while making small talk with Josh and praying the kids stay in bed.
 
I've been obsessed with cleaning our house recently but I've been so good about it, I have nothing left to clean or tidy right now and I'm left to face the things I don't really want to think about like the fact that I miss my kids when they're at school or how I really want to fill this house up with some more of them 😅 

At any rate, one of my simple pleasures in life is decluttering and purging unused things and I feel like I've accomplished a lot!! What about you?
Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growin Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growing up, I thought it was pretty much all I was cut out to do, which ended up being false. But even though I've learned that I'm capable of so many other things, being a mom is still one of my highest aspirations. As we're getting our home ready for fostering, I can't help but think of how the little one(s) entering our home will feel but also how David and Evy will feel. How will they react if we parent slightly differently? Will they understand that we're working to build trust and connection or will they feel indignant? These are the things I pray about and also speak to the kids about in the days leading up. We're all excited but I have the feeling of heaviness that we don't and won't understand the burden until we're all already carrying it together.
Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over here and I think it might be working 😉 Today the kids had TWOsday at school and they were so sweet. David wore a tie (I don't exactly get how it tirles in to Twosday but the kids were happy so..) and Evy "twinned" with a couple of sweet friends in her class. It's so sweet when you see your own kids building their own friendships. It just loosens a little piece of anxiety I've had about parenthood since David was still in my tummy. How did you spend your TWOsday??

Sandals @naotfootwear 💕
Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Jos Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Josh in a quiet house - the kids slept over my parent's last night. Got up, raced to clean the kitchen as fast as I could while my coffee was brewing. The coffee won this time. 

I recorded a Reel while getting ready. Went to the place where we were going to meet my fam a bit early so Josh and I could get in a walk. Then we got coffee, went to a huge antique store (sadly left with nothing but took pictures of my faves so I can remember to come back) and went to lunch with the kids and my parents. Love easy-going and fun days like these 🖤
Back in the day,I was talking with someone about m Back in the day,I was talking with someone about marriage.Josh and I had been married for a few years at that point but this guy was still single. ..

He told me he was studying to get his masters in counseling and he wanted to be a marriage counselor one day.I thought "Hey that's pretty cool" but, curious,because,you know, he was single. 

Anyway, after we'd been talking a few minutes about our interest in helping married couples, he leaned in and said, "You know, I have this theory on marriage.." "Oh yeah?" I said (pretty curious to hear what theories this guy had for all of marriage for everyone everywhere). 

He said, "I believe that every single problem in marriage boils down to communication."

At the time, I didn't really know what to say. I'm more of a *reflector* and then I come up with what I wish I had said later.

Here's what I wish I had said: "Um. Yeah I don't think so. I mean sure, communication helps with a lot of issues. But what about selfishness,⠀addiction,⠀past hurt and trauma, etc? Communication will help people work through those issues but they're connected to much deeper issues that concern the heart--not just your communication skills."

We are all broken, very human, beings and when left to our own devices,⠀we don't have all the tools necessary to "fix" ourselves or our spouse's problems. We can talk until we're blue in the face but we just can't fix ourselves. 

What we do need, is to lean on the Creator who made all things good and makes all things new. To understand that we are not the main characters here. The whole world and everything in it points to Christ and His redeeming power. And yes, he often works that out through us and often through communication. But it's not communication that saves marriages. It's Jesus.

I was just thinking about that today and wanted to get it off my chest. What role do you think communication plays?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! 🎁 Merry Christmas from the Damons! 🎁
So much joy in one photo! Ok, maybe 4 photos 😜 So much joy in one photo! Ok, maybe 4 photos 😜 Love my littlest niece, Eva ❤️
Let's hash something out together: what's somethin Let's hash something out together: what's something you do or used to fight about in your marriage/relationship regularly?

Do you feel like the issue is/was pretty cut and dry? 

Or was there an underlying issue that bubbled up in different ways?

Curious to know your thoughts. 

When Josh and I were first married, we fought a lot. We were pretty low-income, didn't have great jobs, and had a wee baby. While our fights were often about the grocery list, the real issue was that we were SCARED. 

Scared of the adult life we had just stepped into. It was kind of like jumping into a puddle you don't think is that deep until after it's too late and now your socks are completely drowning 🚣🏼‍♀️ 

Luckily, though, they dry off over time, don't they?

After lots of learning and working really hard (both at our jobs and relationship) things started to ease up. We started to see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel and even though we weren't there yet, it gave up hope to carry on together ❤️
Go on a walk with your spouse before Netflixing. O Go on a walk with your spouse before Netflixing. Or if you can't leave the house, sit in the kitchen with a glass of wine. Make time to talk. And make it easier by doing things together. It's so so important ❤️
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Baby, Family, Life & Finances, Motherhood, Pregnancy · June 7, 2017

5 Ways Becoming a Parent Has Made Me Stop Giving a Crap

"I must warn you, right after you have your baby, don’t look at Instagram for a while. Instagram is a lying devil. You’ll see mamas who look like they’ve just had a blowout at the salon holding their precious newborn in the hospital bed and you’ll be all “like, waaaaaat?????” You, on the other hand will look sweaty, tired, puffy, mushy, and- yes- still pregnant. After I had baby #1, I was worried that walking into Wal-Mart, people would stop to ask me how far along I was. “Uhhh, negative 2 weeks.” Then I had to tell myself, “Who gives a care.” Don’t look at them looking at you. You just worry about that gorgeous, precious baby you pooped out over there."

1 | When you first have a baby, you look like crap

I must warn you, right after you have your baby, don’t look at Instagram for a while. Instagram is a lying devil. You’ll see mamas who look like they’ve just had a blowout at the salon holding their precious newborn in the hospital bed and you’ll be all “like, waaaaaat?????” You, on the other hand will look sweaty, tired, puffy, mushy, and- yes- still pregnant. After I had baby #1, I was worried that walking into Wal-Mart, people would stop to ask me how far along I was. “Uhhh, negative 2 weeks.” Then I had to tell myself, “Who gives a care.” Don’t look at them looking at you. You just worry about that gorgeous, precious baby you pooped out over there.

My biggest tip for new mamas in the hospital?

Take a shower as soon as you’re able to and pack a tinted moisturizer (I use this one). You don’t have to look like you’re going to the prom, but if makeup is a regular thing for you, a tinted moisturiser might be just enough to help you feel less self conscious and enjoy the visits you get in the hospital.

2 | You will always be scatterbrained

You know how pregnancy brain is a thing? Just wait for mom brain. If you’re already a mom, you know it’s worse. I worked full-time when I had our first baby. Yes, I had some cute pregnancy brain mishaps, but when I returned to work after having that baby, it returned with a vengeance! I noticed such a difference!

You know why it’s worse?

Because now you actually have another human to worry about. Never mind pregnancy brain, that baby is still in there safe and snug. But now that there’s a helpless human being to think about, that’s all 85% of your brain is going to do! As much as you try to get it to focus on work stuff or being with friends or with your husband, your mind will always return to your children.

And that’s not because you’re obsessed with and only find your identity in your children.

I’m a huge advocate for mamas making time to follow their passions and hobbies and finding an identity that reaches further than their children. Take me, for example: I love to blog- obviously. I also love to work out, I work as a freelance writer, and I love to do crazy things with my hair (like chop it all off or dye it pink- get the look– ha!). But even so, my babies are never fully out of my mind- ever. Pretty much all the time, I feel as though my brain is being pulled in 30 different directions. So when you’re getting ready in the morning, for several years doing anything more than that tinted moisturizer will be an accomplishment. You’ll learn to manage it though. It’ll also make you an awesome multitasker. So there’s that.

3 | You grow to love what’s fast, comfortable, and practical

Don’t worry. I’m not saying you’ll for sure turn to mom-jeans and velcro sneakers, although I hear they’re making a comeback…

But the clothes you pick out in the store will probably change a bit.

For instance…

If you’re breastfeeding, dresses are out for a while- unless they’re “easy access” on the top. I forgot about that unfortunate fact last week when I bought a cute sleeveless crewneck dress. Oh well. Hopefully it’ll still be in style next year…

Even if you’re not breastfeeding, you know that you’re always going to be climbed on and pulled on. So stretchy v-necks should always be worn with caution. I got this comment on an Instagram photo the other day:

Don’t fret, my dear. Luckily there are so many ways to dress cute and comfy and fool people into thinking that you actually tried! Suckers.

4 | You view the world differently

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something about having kids made me feel a bit more… transcendent (if you will). Not God-like- oh no. But I feel much less involved in petty issues if that makes sense. If I cared about haters in the past, they don’t cross my mind anymore- I’m too busy for them. And honestly, I kind of just views them as children anyway. If I was self conscious about my appearance before, I remember now that I can turn it on and dress myself up (which I do and all mamas really should do from time to time), but this morning just isn’t one of those mornings. Even though I’m only 26, I feel like I see the world as if I’m 36. It’s my theory that the older we get, the less we give a crap. And children, as much as they may or may not age you on the outside, they’ll for sure age you in the inside! Not in a bad way, though. I actually love how much my babies have helped me mature and let go of my insecurities!!

Which leads me to my last point:

5 | I try to be the person I want my kids to be

I’m convinced that being a parent has brought out the best in me. Like I said before, I see the world so much differently now! I see the word from the eyes of a parent! One of my greatest fears is having my daugher see me put on makeup every morning and worry about having tight enough skin, and then assuming that she needs to be worrying about those things too. How can I convince my daughter that she is perfect the way God made her and not believe the same thing for myself? She is one of my biggest motivators for getting my butt to the gym in the morning. I want her to see me living a healthy, active lifestyle where I take care of myself. And while she will see me put on makeup, she’ll also see me go out without it. She’ll see me in my mom bun- a lot. And she’ll also see me take time to style my hair, because I think it looks nice that way. And I’ll teach her how to do that too, if she wants. That is, when her hair is long enough!

What about you, mama? Do you have any poor clothing choice stories to share? In what ways have you stopped giving a crap after having kids? Comment below and let’s be mom friends.

"I must warn you, right after you have your baby, don’t look at Instagram for a while. Instagram is a lying devil. You’ll see mamas who look like they’ve just had a blowout at the salon holding their precious newborn in the hospital bed and you’ll be all “like, waaaaaat?????” You, on the other hand will look sweaty, tired, puffy, mushy, and- yes- still pregnant. After I had baby #1, I was worried that walking into Wal-Mart, people would stop to ask me how far along I was. “Uhhh, negative 2 weeks.” Then I had to tell myself, “Who gives a care.” Don’t look at them looking at you. You just worry about that gorgeous, precious baby you pooped out over there."

This post contains affiliate links. Don’t worry though, these are all things I love and have tried myself.

In: Baby, Family, Life & Finances, Motherhood, Pregnancy · Tagged: baby, boy, breastfeeding, care, child, clothes, daughter, girl, hobbies, insecurities, kids, makeup, mama, maternity, mom, mom brain, momlife, momma, mommy, mother, motherhood, parent, pregnancy brain, pregnant, role model, son, style, wife, Work

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Comments

  1. Karen Morse says

    June 7, 2017 at 11:21 am

    Parenting will teach you so many things! It’s amazing how one child can change the way parents especially mom see the world. These are actually beautiful ways!

  2. Jessica Joachim says

    June 7, 2017 at 11:31 am

    I love this. Being a parent has really changed my priorities. I now care a bit less about how my house looks, or my makeup, and care more about making memories. I have learned some things can wait, but kid’s don’t wait.

  3. Ayanna @ 21FlavorsofSplendor says

    June 7, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    Love all your points and totally agree! I believe mom-brain is totally a thing we all will suffer from all our lives and I’ve just learned to live with it. #5 really hit home for me because I have 3 daughters and I want to always be wth biggest role model in their lives.

  4. Alicia McCallum says

    June 7, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    I love these so much and totally relate!!! Number 5 was my favourite. It is so true for me and I have never heard someone else say it before! Also the practical, comfy clothes… my little girl is always pulling my shirt down at awkward times so I am so much more focussed on practicality when I buy my clothes now! I loved this post!! Also, do you have any tips for finding cute but practical-for-a-mom clothes? Cause you’re so good at it!

  5. Allison R Lancaster says

    June 7, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    Yess! I was just talking last night about how much I forget things now that I’m a mom! I also have become so quick at certain things like diaper changing, etc. – my husband is amazed at how fast I can wrangle our toddler into a shirt haha.

  6. Robin Rue says

    June 7, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    I am so scatterbrained it’s not even funny! It’s getting worse, too. I thought when my kids got older It would get better, but nope LOL.

  7. Melissa Chapman says

    June 7, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Your thoughts are all so true. Superficial things start to matter a lot less at the beginning because you have a new life to protect but I am 12 years removed from a newborn so bring on the Botox.

  8. Tanya @ Mom's Small Victories says

    June 7, 2017 at 7:39 pm

    Yes, yes, yes, yes AND yes! With 3 sons and a chronic illness, I am right there with you on being completely brain fried, and appreciating the lazy, comfortable and practical. If I can get in pajamas by 4:30pm, it’s a great day! 🙂

  9. Jeanine says

    June 7, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    I have 7 kids and feel like I could have written this myself. All so true. I am scatter brained every single day and some days it gets even worse!

  10. Amanda Love says

    June 8, 2017 at 7:36 am

    I have 4 and it’s crazy! The craziest would be when I first had a child, so many things changed and I needed to adjust fast. You will eventually stop caring along the way, lol.

  11. reesa says

    June 8, 2017 at 11:01 am

    As time is going on, I am giving fewer and fewer craps LOL! It’s amazing how much priorities change thanks to our kids!

  12. Carolyn says

    June 8, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    I agree with all your points. I even said I wouldn’t drive a minivan and then I got one and now rave about it. It makes my life so much better that I think others are ridiculous for saying they won’t do it, they are just making their life more difficult. 🙂

  13. Lynnette Joselly says

    June 8, 2017 at 7:55 pm

    fast, comfortable and practical. Yup that sounds just about right! I have a few mom friends and have noticed a lot of the things you listed.

  14. Cindy Ingalls says

    June 8, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    I couldn’t agree with this post more. You can’t give a crap about a lot of things once you become a mom. There is too much to do and your child’s needs are more important.

  15. Blythe Alpern says

    June 8, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    I think the best advice in this area is not giving a crap about what others think. It’s amazing how many people love to mom shame others. How about minding your own business and taking care of your own.

  16. Charlotte says

    June 8, 2017 at 8:59 pm

    haha! this, this, this! It is so true, I definitely have less of a tolerance for rubbish now that I am a parent but I do remember being really self conscious in the hospital about how pregnant I still looked, this time around I don’t think I will care as much

  17. Jenny says

    June 9, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    AHAH these are all so true. Having a kids definitely reminds you what is important and makes you stop caring about all the rest.

  18. Angela Bethea says

    June 10, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    Haha Stop viewing instagram for a while to prevent insecurities unless tou are browsing for a cute baby outfit for you little one or party inspiration for his first birthday.

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Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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Now that we still have some sunlight hanging aroun Now that we still have some sunlight hanging around after the kids go to bed, my new thing is sipping a glass of wine on the back patio while making small talk with Josh and praying the kids stay in bed.
 
I've been obsessed with cleaning our house recently but I've been so good about it, I have nothing left to clean or tidy right now and I'm left to face the things I don't really want to think about like the fact that I miss my kids when they're at school or how I really want to fill this house up with some more of them 😅 

At any rate, one of my simple pleasures in life is decluttering and purging unused things and I feel like I've accomplished a lot!! What about you?
Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growin Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growing up, I thought it was pretty much all I was cut out to do, which ended up being false. But even though I've learned that I'm capable of so many other things, being a mom is still one of my highest aspirations. As we're getting our home ready for fostering, I can't help but think of how the little one(s) entering our home will feel but also how David and Evy will feel. How will they react if we parent slightly differently? Will they understand that we're working to build trust and connection or will they feel indignant? These are the things I pray about and also speak to the kids about in the days leading up. We're all excited but I have the feeling of heaviness that we don't and won't understand the burden until we're all already carrying it together.
Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over here and I think it might be working 😉 Today the kids had TWOsday at school and they were so sweet. David wore a tie (I don't exactly get how it tirles in to Twosday but the kids were happy so..) and Evy "twinned" with a couple of sweet friends in her class. It's so sweet when you see your own kids building their own friendships. It just loosens a little piece of anxiety I've had about parenthood since David was still in my tummy. How did you spend your TWOsday??

Sandals @naotfootwear 💕
Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Jos Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Josh in a quiet house - the kids slept over my parent's last night. Got up, raced to clean the kitchen as fast as I could while my coffee was brewing. The coffee won this time. 

I recorded a Reel while getting ready. Went to the place where we were going to meet my fam a bit early so Josh and I could get in a walk. Then we got coffee, went to a huge antique store (sadly left with nothing but took pictures of my faves so I can remember to come back) and went to lunch with the kids and my parents. Love easy-going and fun days like these 🖤

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Now that we still have some sunlight hanging aroun Now that we still have some sunlight hanging around after the kids go to bed, my new thing is sipping a glass of wine on the back patio while making small talk with Josh and praying the kids stay in bed.
 
I've been obsessed with cleaning our house recently but I've been so good about it, I have nothing left to clean or tidy right now and I'm left to face the things I don't really want to think about like the fact that I miss my kids when they're at school or how I really want to fill this house up with some more of them 😅 

At any rate, one of my simple pleasures in life is decluttering and purging unused things and I feel like I've accomplished a lot!! What about you?
Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growin Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growing up, I thought it was pretty much all I was cut out to do, which ended up being false. But even though I've learned that I'm capable of so many other things, being a mom is still one of my highest aspirations. As we're getting our home ready for fostering, I can't help but think of how the little one(s) entering our home will feel but also how David and Evy will feel. How will they react if we parent slightly differently? Will they understand that we're working to build trust and connection or will they feel indignant? These are the things I pray about and also speak to the kids about in the days leading up. We're all excited but I have the feeling of heaviness that we don't and won't understand the burden until we're all already carrying it together.
Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over here and I think it might be working 😉 Today the kids had TWOsday at school and they were so sweet. David wore a tie (I don't exactly get how it tirles in to Twosday but the kids were happy so..) and Evy "twinned" with a couple of sweet friends in her class. It's so sweet when you see your own kids building their own friendships. It just loosens a little piece of anxiety I've had about parenthood since David was still in my tummy. How did you spend your TWOsday??

Sandals @naotfootwear 💕
Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Jos Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Josh in a quiet house - the kids slept over my parent's last night. Got up, raced to clean the kitchen as fast as I could while my coffee was brewing. The coffee won this time. 

I recorded a Reel while getting ready. Went to the place where we were going to meet my fam a bit early so Josh and I could get in a walk. Then we got coffee, went to a huge antique store (sadly left with nothing but took pictures of my faves so I can remember to come back) and went to lunch with the kids and my parents. Love easy-going and fun days like these 🖤
Back in the day,I was talking with someone about m Back in the day,I was talking with someone about marriage.Josh and I had been married for a few years at that point but this guy was still single. ..

He told me he was studying to get his masters in counseling and he wanted to be a marriage counselor one day.I thought "Hey that's pretty cool" but, curious,because,you know, he was single. 

Anyway, after we'd been talking a few minutes about our interest in helping married couples, he leaned in and said, "You know, I have this theory on marriage.." "Oh yeah?" I said (pretty curious to hear what theories this guy had for all of marriage for everyone everywhere). 

He said, "I believe that every single problem in marriage boils down to communication."

At the time, I didn't really know what to say. I'm more of a *reflector* and then I come up with what I wish I had said later.

Here's what I wish I had said: "Um. Yeah I don't think so. I mean sure, communication helps with a lot of issues. But what about selfishness,⠀addiction,⠀past hurt and trauma, etc? Communication will help people work through those issues but they're connected to much deeper issues that concern the heart--not just your communication skills."

We are all broken, very human, beings and when left to our own devices,⠀we don't have all the tools necessary to "fix" ourselves or our spouse's problems. We can talk until we're blue in the face but we just can't fix ourselves. 

What we do need, is to lean on the Creator who made all things good and makes all things new. To understand that we are not the main characters here. The whole world and everything in it points to Christ and His redeeming power. And yes, he often works that out through us and often through communication. But it's not communication that saves marriages. It's Jesus.

I was just thinking about that today and wanted to get it off my chest. What role do you think communication plays?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! 🎁 Merry Christmas from the Damons! 🎁
So much joy in one photo! Ok, maybe 4 photos 😜 So much joy in one photo! Ok, maybe 4 photos 😜 Love my littlest niece, Eva ❤️
Let's hash something out together: what's somethin Let's hash something out together: what's something you do or used to fight about in your marriage/relationship regularly?

Do you feel like the issue is/was pretty cut and dry? 

Or was there an underlying issue that bubbled up in different ways?

Curious to know your thoughts. 

When Josh and I were first married, we fought a lot. We were pretty low-income, didn't have great jobs, and had a wee baby. While our fights were often about the grocery list, the real issue was that we were SCARED. 

Scared of the adult life we had just stepped into. It was kind of like jumping into a puddle you don't think is that deep until after it's too late and now your socks are completely drowning 🚣🏼‍♀️ 

Luckily, though, they dry off over time, don't they?

After lots of learning and working really hard (both at our jobs and relationship) things started to ease up. We started to see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel and even though we weren't there yet, it gave up hope to carry on together ❤️
Go on a walk with your spouse before Netflixing. O Go on a walk with your spouse before Netflixing. Or if you can't leave the house, sit in the kitchen with a glass of wine. Make time to talk. And make it easier by doing things together. It's so so important ❤️
Top knots over crop tops 😜 Top knots over crop tops 😜

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