To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going to think she has the coolest, smartest, bravest big siblings in the world, and she's not wrong 😉
She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early on Saturday March 11 at 1:52 in the morning. 

Josh and I just had a feeling about that day (Friday), so we kept the kids out of school, went out to breakfast, and just spent our last day together as a family of four. 

My contractions started right after my 38 week appointment that morning and progressed throughout the day until around 4pm when I thought, "Mmk, I'm starting to really need to breathe through these. Better go in."

I was so convinced they were going to turn us away that it really didn't hit me that we were actually going to meet our girl that night until we'd been there for a few hours already. 

Baby girl ended up being 7lbs 15oz and 20in long!

We are all so in love. David and Evy are OBSESSED. A few times their friends have come to the door to ask them to play and they've said they'd rather stay home with the baby 😄

We are so blessed and thankful for this little girl ❤️
How to use a French hair pin. I love these things How to use a French hair pin. I love these things because they can hold up even my thick and chunky hair and I don't have a large clip sticking off the back of my head (don't get me wrong, I love a good hair clip, too)! Have you tried one yet??
This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m s This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m so grateful for it.

On the one hand, there’s so much to do to get ready for little one to join us—it’s been a while since we’ve had a newborn! I’m spending most of my free time writing and nesting, nesting and writing. 

And then on the other hand, I’m feeling pretty ready to have my body back. And by that, I mean just to be done literally sharing it with another being. You start to miss things after a while like being able to breathe when you lay on your back or not getting indigestion for eating a few grapes. 

Overall, there’s so much to be thankful for. Each little inconvenience is a blessing and I’m happy they’re there. I’ll also be happy when they’re over. For now, I’m just savoring being a mom of “older kids” (8 and going on 6) that can grab their own snacks from time to time and put on their own shoes. We’re going to be heading back to square one in a couple months and I’m sure there’s a lot we’ve forgotten!
Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️
The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊 The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊
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Dating, Marriage, Relationships · December 24, 2017

8 Ways to Stop a Fight Before it Starts

“Fighting is always fun,” said no one ever. Fights stink. Most of us wish we could avoid them altogether or, at the very lease, stop them before they start. Well, there are a few tips and tricks you can use in your relationship that just might help with that. Keep reading to learn how you can avoid your net big fight and turn it into an open talk with your spouse or significant other!

“Fighting is always fun,” said no one ever.

Fights suck. Most of us wish we could avoid them altogether or, at the very least, stop them before they start. Well, there are a few tips and tricks you can use in your relationship that just might help with that. Keep reading to learn how you can avoid your next big fight and turn it into an open talk with your spouse or significant other!

1 | Go for a run

Or walk depending on your general fitness level. Basically, when you’re mad, you’re going to have stored up energy and you’re going to need to do something with that stored up energy. Here, everyone comes to a crossroads where they must decide to use that harbored energy food good or for evil. What will you choose? When you feel like doing rather than thinking rationally (because who wants to do that when they’re mad??) going for a run can be a great and healthy way to take action without doing something negative your relationship. Running (and exercise in general) also produces endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. So chances are, you’ll return from your run with a somewhat lifted mood, feeling better about yourself as a person because, hey, you just went on a run(!), and you may have forgotten or at least cooled down about what made you so irritated in the first place. Win Win Win.

2 | Tell the other person where you think they’re right

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling strongly about something and having your spouse or significant other (seemingly) completely disagree with you and refuse to see your point of view. Well, that might not actually be the case, even if it really feels like it. Try to remember, the next time you and your love start to disagree, to tell them certain aspects of their thoughts you do agree with. And then go ahead and (kindly, always kindly) tell them what you don’t exactly agree with, and why. The why here is important. I mean, if we have any kind of opinion worth arguing over, we need to be able to back it up with some kind of why, but more than that- explaining why we believe what we believe will help the other person to see our point of view, where we got our beliefs, and at the very least, help them agree to disagree if not agree completely. Which brings me to my next point.

3 | Ask questions

I was going to name this point “listen” but I didn’t because I sometimes think that we, as a society as a whole, are just crappy listeners. We think we listen, but really we’re just thinking of our next argument or point or simply internally rolling our eyes while we wait for our spouse or significant other to be done talking. Stop that! (Pointing to myself as well here) How rude! If you knew that your spouse was internally rolling his or her eyes at you, you would probably walk out of the room right then and there. I know I’d want to.

We need to become ACTIVE listeners! That means that we need to WANT to understand our spouse and how they feel and why they think the way they do. We want that, everyone wants that- everyone wants to be understood by at least their spouse. Otherwise, life can start to feel pretty lonely. Start by asking questions. Get your spouse to expand on why they feel the way they feel or believe certain things. Even if you don’t say as much, make them understand that they are in a safe place when they talk with you. Which leads me to my next point.

4 | Always always show respect

Respect is a toughy. Because we often feel as though respect needs to be earned and- like trust, it’s easy to lose are very hard to earn. If you feel like you don’t respect your spouse, try to imagine how hard it would be for them to feel close to you, even if they wanted to. A marriage or relationship without respect is filled with fear, angst, competition, and bitterness. And if the bitterness festers long enough, it’ll sure as anything turn into hatred- you wait and see. Respect is crucial to fostering a healthy, open, and honest relationship. If we start to show disrespect to our spouse, and then later wish to be close and open with them, it will be very hard for them to trust us enough to be open again. Keep the lines of communication open and flowing by always showing respect to your spouse, whether you think they deserve it or not. Just like love, it’s needed for a relationship to thrive and should not be dependant on either spouse’s merit. Read this book (I HIGHLY recommend: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

5 | Go for a walk together outside

If you’re feeling like it’s time for a talk and it could get heated, sometimes a walk-talk outside can do wonders to steer a conversation in the best direction. I’m not sure why this is, maybe it’s the fresh air or the sound of birds chirping or remembering being more carefree when we were younger, but Josh and I always have the best conversations outside! So much so that we make a point to get outside and have a good conversation about once a week because we both can see how much of a difference it makes!

6 | Remind them you’re on their side

Sometimes when you’re fighting with a spouse or significant other, it can feel like they’re the enemy. Sooner rather than later, just remind them that you love them and you’re on their side even if you don’t agree. Agreeing to disagree is alright here and there, even in really close relationships as long as there’s mutual respect and the disagreement isn’t something that fundamentally goes against your belief system. If it does, you’re probably going to need to take several more walks outside or invite a counselor on your walks…

7 | Simply ask to not fight

So crazy it just miiiight work…..

Seriously though. I’ll be the first to tell you that sometimes- this actually works. Josh and I are- let’s call it “passionate-” and if we strongly disagree on something, we’ll probably have an argument about it. We’re at the point in our marriage where we’ve learned a lot about the art of “ “fighting” and we can “fight” fairly often without actually getting mad or even annoyed with the other person. But when we feel like the disagreement might be headed that direction, sometimes one of us will say, “I really don’t want this to turn into a fight” or, “Let’s try not to fight about this” and, of course, not fighting usually sounds pretty good to the other spouse, so we agree, “Ok, let’s chill for a sec before this gets more heated.” After that, sometimes we go on talking about the issue, both intentionally remembering to stay calm, open-minded, and more light-hearted, or… we decide to let the conversation go altogether. Chances are, it’s not worth getting in a fight over anyway and we can just move on to keep the peace. You’ll have to use this with caution in your own relationship. If you and your spouse have a tendency to sweep things under the rug and hope it goes away in a few days, then this phrase might do more harm than good. But if you’re like us where you literally get in a discussion about everything and could use a chill pill, then yes, this phrase may be for you.

8 | Move closer

You wanna know the science behind this one? Basically, if you’re closer to your spouse/significant other, you’re more likely to keep your voice down and not yell from across the room, which would probably make you sound angry even if you’re really not. So, try to move closer to your spouse. Worst case scenario, you’re closer to your spouse. Best case, maybe you get a hug out of it! Which brings me to my last (sub)point.

8.1 | Give a little touch

Now, you’re going to have to feel this one out. If you feel like your spouse is starting to get irritated for some reason, a touch might just send them over the edge. But it could very much remind them that you care and that, even though you may be disagreeing, you’re on the same team and care more about each other than about the issue.

What are your tips for stopping a fight in its tracks? Have you ever tried something, hoping it would help quell a fight, and had it blow up in your face? Leave your comments below and share which point was your fave!

“Fighting is always fun,” said no one ever. Fights stink. Most of us wish we could avoid them altogether or, at the very lease, stop them before they start. Well, there are a few tips and tricks you can use in your relationship that just might help with that. Keep reading to learn how you can avoid your net big fight and turn it into an open talk with your spouse or significant other!

In: Dating, Marriage, Relationships · Tagged: angry, annoyed, ask, boyfriend, communicate, compare, disrespect, fight, fights, frustrated, fun marriage, girlfriend, husbad, marriage, marriage advice, partner, questions, Relationships, Respect, right, run, significant other, so, spouse, stop, talk, together, touch, wife, wrong

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Comments

  1. Gloria Jordan says

    January 7, 2018 at 11:05 am

    All of these suggestions sound great if one is married to a non-bipolar person or one who always believes he is right! trying to reason with such a person is futile! he blows up, screaming and yelling, doesn’t care to listen to my side, then after he has sent up my blood sugar (i am diabetic) and my blood pressure up, he gives the situation some thought and very, very seldom will apologize for getting upset with me. by then, my hatred towards him does not go away for weeks, sometimes months because one yelling and screaming match after another just builds on the previous one with more hatred built up on my part. i wish i had never married him! many times, i pray god will allow me to die to remove me from this awful marriage! i have chest pains during these one sided arguments but don’t say anything because i am hoping to have a heart attack and not be rushed to the hospital to save me for yet another argument!

    • KizzY says

      December 21, 2018 at 10:49 am

      Ive just read your comment gloria. So sorry to hear about your challenging marriage. I lived with a mother who had serious mental health issues. it would be beneficial to Contact a local counselling service, if you haven’t already.
      When i have challenges in my marriage i try to rememeber that all experiences are for my Learning and development, to make me the pErson that God wants me to become. Stay strong!

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Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going to think she has the coolest, smartest, bravest big siblings in the world, and she's not wrong 😉
She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early on Saturday March 11 at 1:52 in the morning. 

Josh and I just had a feeling about that day (Friday), so we kept the kids out of school, went out to breakfast, and just spent our last day together as a family of four. 

My contractions started right after my 38 week appointment that morning and progressed throughout the day until around 4pm when I thought, "Mmk, I'm starting to really need to breathe through these. Better go in."

I was so convinced they were going to turn us away that it really didn't hit me that we were actually going to meet our girl that night until we'd been there for a few hours already. 

Baby girl ended up being 7lbs 15oz and 20in long!

We are all so in love. David and Evy are OBSESSED. A few times their friends have come to the door to ask them to play and they've said they'd rather stay home with the baby 😄

We are so blessed and thankful for this little girl ❤️
How to use a French hair pin. I love these things How to use a French hair pin. I love these things because they can hold up even my thick and chunky hair and I don't have a large clip sticking off the back of my head (don't get me wrong, I love a good hair clip, too)! Have you tried one yet??
This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m s This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m so grateful for it.

On the one hand, there’s so much to do to get ready for little one to join us—it’s been a while since we’ve had a newborn! I’m spending most of my free time writing and nesting, nesting and writing. 

And then on the other hand, I’m feeling pretty ready to have my body back. And by that, I mean just to be done literally sharing it with another being. You start to miss things after a while like being able to breathe when you lay on your back or not getting indigestion for eating a few grapes. 

Overall, there’s so much to be thankful for. Each little inconvenience is a blessing and I’m happy they’re there. I’ll also be happy when they’re over. For now, I’m just savoring being a mom of “older kids” (8 and going on 6) that can grab their own snacks from time to time and put on their own shoes. We’re going to be heading back to square one in a couple months and I’m sure there’s a lot we’ve forgotten!

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To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going to think she has the coolest, smartest, bravest big siblings in the world, and she's not wrong 😉
She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early on Saturday March 11 at 1:52 in the morning. 

Josh and I just had a feeling about that day (Friday), so we kept the kids out of school, went out to breakfast, and just spent our last day together as a family of four. 

My contractions started right after my 38 week appointment that morning and progressed throughout the day until around 4pm when I thought, "Mmk, I'm starting to really need to breathe through these. Better go in."

I was so convinced they were going to turn us away that it really didn't hit me that we were actually going to meet our girl that night until we'd been there for a few hours already. 

Baby girl ended up being 7lbs 15oz and 20in long!

We are all so in love. David and Evy are OBSESSED. A few times their friends have come to the door to ask them to play and they've said they'd rather stay home with the baby 😄

We are so blessed and thankful for this little girl ❤️
How to use a French hair pin. I love these things How to use a French hair pin. I love these things because they can hold up even my thick and chunky hair and I don't have a large clip sticking off the back of my head (don't get me wrong, I love a good hair clip, too)! Have you tried one yet??
This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m s This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m so grateful for it.

On the one hand, there’s so much to do to get ready for little one to join us—it’s been a while since we’ve had a newborn! I’m spending most of my free time writing and nesting, nesting and writing. 

And then on the other hand, I’m feeling pretty ready to have my body back. And by that, I mean just to be done literally sharing it with another being. You start to miss things after a while like being able to breathe when you lay on your back or not getting indigestion for eating a few grapes. 

Overall, there’s so much to be thankful for. Each little inconvenience is a blessing and I’m happy they’re there. I’ll also be happy when they’re over. For now, I’m just savoring being a mom of “older kids” (8 and going on 6) that can grab their own snacks from time to time and put on their own shoes. We’re going to be heading back to square one in a couple months and I’m sure there’s a lot we’ve forgotten!
Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️
The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊 The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊
We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan to We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan today and here's how it went. Have you ever brought kids to one of these appointments??

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