• To be stronger • To feel better • To trai • To be stronger
• To feel better 
• To train my mind to know that hard things are good things
• To set an example 
• For longevity
• To get out of the house 
• To start the day on the right foot
• To listen to good music for a little while
• To have productive alone time

I just wanted to list a few "Why"s in case you were having a hard time finding yours today. Goodness knows I struggle some days but usually one of these pulls through for me ❤️

@nakd.sport
It might be a couple years later, but we're doing It might be a couple years later, but we're doing the same old stuff still today ☺️❤️
My Valentines 💘 #happyvalentinesday❤️ My Valentines 💘

#happyvalentinesday❤️
How many kids did you say you wanted growing up an How many kids did you say you wanted growing up and how many do you have (or hope for) now? Growing up I used to say I wanted 6 kids 😭💀💀 Love these babes but let's just say I have a new perspective these days 😂
The best sandles are the ones you can paint your n The best sandles are the ones you can paint your nails in 5 minutes after you should have already left 😂💅

@naotfootwear is one of my favorite all time brands for many reasons, but one of the best is the fact that when you purchase any shoe from naot.com, the order is fulfilled by the closest independent retailer to you. How genius is that?? #shopsmall #naottogether #naotic
Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has already melted but the kids woke up to the best surprise today! ❄️❄️
Healthy habits > motivation Yeh? This seamless se Healthy habits > motivation
Yeh?

This seamless set that moves everywhere you do is called The Braden by @nakd.sport 🖤
#ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity #ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink powder mix in my bag to have on the go. The elderberry drink has vitamin C, vitamin d, and zinc plus the power of 300 elderberries to help increase my immune cell production and activation. PSSST - it also is amazingly soothing as a hot drink in the evening to boost my immune system before going to sleep and allowing my body to recover overnight. Hit the link in my stories to grab a pack of @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink and gummies! Use code CHELSEA for 15% off!

#clinicalimmunity 
#lifeseasonspartner
@lifeseasons
I’ve talked about this before but never to its f I’ve talked about this before but never to its full extent. 

6ish years ago I was working full-time as a doctor’s assistant and coming home to an 8-month-old baby while Josh worked 12-hour shifts until midnight. I was so busy that I felt like I was losing my sense of identity. 

That year I decided to start my blog. I kept it a secret for a while because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to think, “Who does she think she is? We’ve known her for years and she thinks she has something to say??”

But - I loved it! I wrote posts on everything! Random pizza recipes, how my run went that day, marriage, motherhood - I had absolutely no direction. But, I started sharing my blog and got a bunch of great feedback on my marriage and family posts. So, I decided to focus on that because that was, afterall, my favorite thing to write about anyway.

A few months later, I started pinning my posts on Pinterest and educating myself on what it meant to blog well, set up posts for good SEO, how to engage an audience, etc. I had a couple posts go viral on Pinterest and for a few months I had over 350,000 views on my blog/month.

Way late in the game, I started posting to Instagram in 2017. By then we had 2 babies and I had been working with brands for a while so I was able to quit my (at the time) part-time job to stay home with them which I was stoked about! 

Later that year, we packed up our stuff and moved to WA. The original plan was for Josh to find work and for me to continue blogging & be a SAHM. But, after several months later and finding it much harder for Josh to find work than we anticipated, I told him, "Hey, don't feel bad, I don't want you to feel pressure. I will look for work to take some of the pressure off."

So, I started applying for jobs in social media and content marketing. About a month into my search I made a profile on a job-matching platform called @scouted.io. A couple weeks later, I got an email from someone at Scouted saying that they were looking for someone to help with their content and they wanted to have a conversation. 

** Continued in comments **
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Dating, Marriage, Relationships · December 24, 2017

8 Ways to Stop a Fight Before it Starts

“Fighting is always fun,” said no one ever. Fights stink. Most of us wish we could avoid them altogether or, at the very lease, stop them before they start. Well, there are a few tips and tricks you can use in your relationship that just might help with that. Keep reading to learn how you can avoid your net big fight and turn it into an open talk with your spouse or significant other!

“Fighting is always fun,” said no one ever.

Fights suck. Most of us wish we could avoid them altogether or, at the very least, stop them before they start. Well, there are a few tips and tricks you can use in your relationship that just might help with that. Keep reading to learn how you can avoid your next big fight and turn it into an open talk with your spouse or significant other!

1 | Go for a run

Or walk depending on your general fitness level. Basically, when you’re mad, you’re going to have stored up energy and you’re going to need to do something with that stored up energy. Here, everyone comes to a crossroads where they must decide to use that harbored energy food good or for evil. What will you choose? When you feel like doing rather than thinking rationally (because who wants to do that when they’re mad??) going for a run can be a great and healthy way to take action without doing something negative your relationship. Running (and exercise in general) also produces endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. So chances are, you’ll return from your run with a somewhat lifted mood, feeling better about yourself as a person because, hey, you just went on a run(!), and you may have forgotten or at least cooled down about what made you so irritated in the first place. Win Win Win.

2 | Tell the other person where you think they’re right

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling strongly about something and having your spouse or significant other (seemingly) completely disagree with you and refuse to see your point of view. Well, that might not actually be the case, even if it really feels like it. Try to remember, the next time you and your love start to disagree, to tell them certain aspects of their thoughts you do agree with. And then go ahead and (kindly, always kindly) tell them what you don’t exactly agree with, and why. The why here is important. I mean, if we have any kind of opinion worth arguing over, we need to be able to back it up with some kind of why, but more than that- explaining why we believe what we believe will help the other person to see our point of view, where we got our beliefs, and at the very least, help them agree to disagree if not agree completely. Which brings me to my next point.

3 | Ask questions

I was going to name this point “listen” but I didn’t because I sometimes think that we, as a society as a whole, are just crappy listeners. We think we listen, but really we’re just thinking of our next argument or point or simply internally rolling our eyes while we wait for our spouse or significant other to be done talking. Stop that! (Pointing to myself as well here) How rude! If you knew that your spouse was internally rolling his or her eyes at you, you would probably walk out of the room right then and there. I know I’d want to.

We need to become ACTIVE listeners! That means that we need to WANT to understand our spouse and how they feel and why they think the way they do. We want that, everyone wants that- everyone wants to be understood by at least their spouse. Otherwise, life can start to feel pretty lonely. Start by asking questions. Get your spouse to expand on why they feel the way they feel or believe certain things. Even if you don’t say as much, make them understand that they are in a safe place when they talk with you. Which leads me to my next point.

4 | Always always show respect

Respect is a toughy. Because we often feel as though respect needs to be earned and- like trust, it’s easy to lose are very hard to earn. If you feel like you don’t respect your spouse, try to imagine how hard it would be for them to feel close to you, even if they wanted to. A marriage or relationship without respect is filled with fear, angst, competition, and bitterness. And if the bitterness festers long enough, it’ll sure as anything turn into hatred- you wait and see. Respect is crucial to fostering a healthy, open, and honest relationship. If we start to show disrespect to our spouse, and then later wish to be close and open with them, it will be very hard for them to trust us enough to be open again. Keep the lines of communication open and flowing by always showing respect to your spouse, whether you think they deserve it or not. Just like love, it’s needed for a relationship to thrive and should not be dependant on either spouse’s merit. Read this book (I HIGHLY recommend: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

5 | Go for a walk together outside

If you’re feeling like it’s time for a talk and it could get heated, sometimes a walk-talk outside can do wonders to steer a conversation in the best direction. I’m not sure why this is, maybe it’s the fresh air or the sound of birds chirping or remembering being more carefree when we were younger, but Josh and I always have the best conversations outside! So much so that we make a point to get outside and have a good conversation about once a week because we both can see how much of a difference it makes!

6 | Remind them you’re on their side

Sometimes when you’re fighting with a spouse or significant other, it can feel like they’re the enemy. Sooner rather than later, just remind them that you love them and you’re on their side even if you don’t agree. Agreeing to disagree is alright here and there, even in really close relationships as long as there’s mutual respect and the disagreement isn’t something that fundamentally goes against your belief system. If it does, you’re probably going to need to take several more walks outside or invite a counselor on your walks…

7 | Simply ask to not fight

So crazy it just miiiight work…..

Seriously though. I’ll be the first to tell you that sometimes- this actually works. Josh and I are- let’s call it “passionate-” and if we strongly disagree on something, we’ll probably have an argument about it. We’re at the point in our marriage where we’ve learned a lot about the art of “ “fighting” and we can “fight” fairly often without actually getting mad or even annoyed with the other person. But when we feel like the disagreement might be headed that direction, sometimes one of us will say, “I really don’t want this to turn into a fight” or, “Let’s try not to fight about this” and, of course, not fighting usually sounds pretty good to the other spouse, so we agree, “Ok, let’s chill for a sec before this gets more heated.” After that, sometimes we go on talking about the issue, both intentionally remembering to stay calm, open-minded, and more light-hearted, or… we decide to let the conversation go altogether. Chances are, it’s not worth getting in a fight over anyway and we can just move on to keep the peace. You’ll have to use this with caution in your own relationship. If you and your spouse have a tendency to sweep things under the rug and hope it goes away in a few days, then this phrase might do more harm than good. But if you’re like us where you literally get in a discussion about everything and could use a chill pill, then yes, this phrase may be for you.

8 | Move closer

You wanna know the science behind this one? Basically, if you’re closer to your spouse/significant other, you’re more likely to keep your voice down and not yell from across the room, which would probably make you sound angry even if you’re really not. So, try to move closer to your spouse. Worst case scenario, you’re closer to your spouse. Best case, maybe you get a hug out of it! Which brings me to my last (sub)point.

8.1 | Give a little touch

Now, you’re going to have to feel this one out. If you feel like your spouse is starting to get irritated for some reason, a touch might just send them over the edge. But it could very much remind them that you care and that, even though you may be disagreeing, you’re on the same team and care more about each other than about the issue.

What are your tips for stopping a fight in its tracks? Have you ever tried something, hoping it would help quell a fight, and had it blow up in your face? Leave your comments below and share which point was your fave!

“Fighting is always fun,” said no one ever. Fights stink. Most of us wish we could avoid them altogether or, at the very lease, stop them before they start. Well, there are a few tips and tricks you can use in your relationship that just might help with that. Keep reading to learn how you can avoid your net big fight and turn it into an open talk with your spouse or significant other!

In: Dating, Marriage, Relationships · Tagged: angry, annoyed, ask, boyfriend, communicate, compare, disrespect, fight, fights, frustrated, fun marriage, girlfriend, husbad, marriage, marriage advice, partner, questions, Relationships, Respect, right, run, significant other, so, spouse, stop, talk, together, touch, wife, wrong

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Comments

  1. Gloria Jordan says

    January 7, 2018 at 11:05 am

    All of these suggestions sound great if one is married to a non-bipolar person or one who always believes he is right! trying to reason with such a person is futile! he blows up, screaming and yelling, doesn’t care to listen to my side, then after he has sent up my blood sugar (i am diabetic) and my blood pressure up, he gives the situation some thought and very, very seldom will apologize for getting upset with me. by then, my hatred towards him does not go away for weeks, sometimes months because one yelling and screaming match after another just builds on the previous one with more hatred built up on my part. i wish i had never married him! many times, i pray god will allow me to die to remove me from this awful marriage! i have chest pains during these one sided arguments but don’t say anything because i am hoping to have a heart attack and not be rushed to the hospital to save me for yet another argument!

    Reply
    • KizzY says

      December 21, 2018 at 10:49 am

      Ive just read your comment gloria. So sorry to hear about your challenging marriage. I lived with a mother who had serious mental health issues. it would be beneficial to Contact a local counselling service, if you haven’t already.
      When i have challenges in my marriage i try to rememeber that all experiences are for my Learning and development, to make me the pErson that God wants me to become. Stay strong!

      Reply

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Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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• To be stronger • To feel better • To trai • To be stronger
• To feel better 
• To train my mind to know that hard things are good things
• To set an example 
• For longevity
• To get out of the house 
• To start the day on the right foot
• To listen to good music for a little while
• To have productive alone time

I just wanted to list a few "Why"s in case you were having a hard time finding yours today. Goodness knows I struggle some days but usually one of these pulls through for me ❤️

@nakd.sport
It might be a couple years later, but we're doing It might be a couple years later, but we're doing the same old stuff still today ☺️❤️
My Valentines 💘 #happyvalentinesday❤️ My Valentines 💘

#happyvalentinesday❤️
How many kids did you say you wanted growing up an How many kids did you say you wanted growing up and how many do you have (or hope for) now? Growing up I used to say I wanted 6 kids 😭💀💀 Love these babes but let's just say I have a new perspective these days 😂

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  • So I know the title of this post says, “What men want most in a wife,” but to be more realistic, this is about what men need most in a wife. Like men, there are a lot of things that we (women) would really like in a husband. Like, it’d be a huge plus if he looked like Chris Hemsworth. But that’s not really what we need in order to have a positive relationship with our spouse. If we married him, we probably think he’s pretty cute, anyway. Take a look at these 5 things a man really needs in a wife, and if you can think of anything else, share your thoughts in the comments below! 5 Things men want most in a wife
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  • Sure, they say don’t go to bed while you’re still angry, but sometimes husbands and wives just need some space! That being said, there are healthy ways and unhealthy ways (productive and hurtful, if you will) to get space away from a spouse. Let’s talk about those. The Right and Wrong Way To Give Your Spouse Space

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• To be stronger • To feel better • To trai • To be stronger
• To feel better 
• To train my mind to know that hard things are good things
• To set an example 
• For longevity
• To get out of the house 
• To start the day on the right foot
• To listen to good music for a little while
• To have productive alone time

I just wanted to list a few "Why"s in case you were having a hard time finding yours today. Goodness knows I struggle some days but usually one of these pulls through for me ❤️

@nakd.sport
It might be a couple years later, but we're doing It might be a couple years later, but we're doing the same old stuff still today ☺️❤️
My Valentines 💘 #happyvalentinesday❤️ My Valentines 💘

#happyvalentinesday❤️
How many kids did you say you wanted growing up an How many kids did you say you wanted growing up and how many do you have (or hope for) now? Growing up I used to say I wanted 6 kids 😭💀💀 Love these babes but let's just say I have a new perspective these days 😂
The best sandles are the ones you can paint your n The best sandles are the ones you can paint your nails in 5 minutes after you should have already left 😂💅

@naotfootwear is one of my favorite all time brands for many reasons, but one of the best is the fact that when you purchase any shoe from naot.com, the order is fulfilled by the closest independent retailer to you. How genius is that?? #shopsmall #naottogether #naotic
Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has already melted but the kids woke up to the best surprise today! ❄️❄️
Healthy habits > motivation Yeh? This seamless se Healthy habits > motivation
Yeh?

This seamless set that moves everywhere you do is called The Braden by @nakd.sport 🖤
#ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity #ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink powder mix in my bag to have on the go. The elderberry drink has vitamin C, vitamin d, and zinc plus the power of 300 elderberries to help increase my immune cell production and activation. PSSST - it also is amazingly soothing as a hot drink in the evening to boost my immune system before going to sleep and allowing my body to recover overnight. Hit the link in my stories to grab a pack of @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink and gummies! Use code CHELSEA for 15% off!

#clinicalimmunity 
#lifeseasonspartner
@lifeseasons
I’ve talked about this before but never to its f I’ve talked about this before but never to its full extent. 

6ish years ago I was working full-time as a doctor’s assistant and coming home to an 8-month-old baby while Josh worked 12-hour shifts until midnight. I was so busy that I felt like I was losing my sense of identity. 

That year I decided to start my blog. I kept it a secret for a while because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to think, “Who does she think she is? We’ve known her for years and she thinks she has something to say??”

But - I loved it! I wrote posts on everything! Random pizza recipes, how my run went that day, marriage, motherhood - I had absolutely no direction. But, I started sharing my blog and got a bunch of great feedback on my marriage and family posts. So, I decided to focus on that because that was, afterall, my favorite thing to write about anyway.

A few months later, I started pinning my posts on Pinterest and educating myself on what it meant to blog well, set up posts for good SEO, how to engage an audience, etc. I had a couple posts go viral on Pinterest and for a few months I had over 350,000 views on my blog/month.

Way late in the game, I started posting to Instagram in 2017. By then we had 2 babies and I had been working with brands for a while so I was able to quit my (at the time) part-time job to stay home with them which I was stoked about! 

Later that year, we packed up our stuff and moved to WA. The original plan was for Josh to find work and for me to continue blogging & be a SAHM. But, after several months later and finding it much harder for Josh to find work than we anticipated, I told him, "Hey, don't feel bad, I don't want you to feel pressure. I will look for work to take some of the pressure off."

So, I started applying for jobs in social media and content marketing. About a month into my search I made a profile on a job-matching platform called @scouted.io. A couple weeks later, I got an email from someone at Scouted saying that they were looking for someone to help with their content and they wanted to have a conversation. 

** Continued in comments **
Honest question: Do you spend any part of your day Honest question: Do you spend any part of your day feeling uncomfortable?

🤔 If no, why not?

🤔 If yes, why? What is it that you do to feel uncomfortable?

Putting ourselves in situations where we feel uncomfortable is so unnatural. The brain is WIRED to find the easiest way, the path of least resistance, to feel safe.

But if we let that go so long unchecked, we're likely to find ourselves in a comfortable routine where nothing changes and we begin to feel apathetic about our own progress and the world around us.

✖️ Choosing to not attend (and have a voice in) important meetings because it's easier to get a memo about it later.

 ✖️ Choosing not to get coffee with a person because it could get awkward if you don't know what to say.

✖️ Snoozing the alarm rather than waking up earlier to workout and make health a priority. 

✖️ Not approaching a homeless person with a bag of lunch because it's hard to look them in the eye when you have so much. 

✖️ Avoiding inviting a friend or family member into your home for an extended period of time so they can get back on their feet.

Being uncomfortable opens your eyes!! It's even scary sometimes. But it always leads to progress. It's impossible to grow without making yourself uncomfortable in some way.

What's something you've done recently that felt uncomfortable?

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