Being confident many times comes down to what we choose to believe and how (or how often) we choose to think about ourselves. Take a look at these 5 ways you can remind yourself that you have the ability to be confident.
1 You are smart
You might not be smart in the same ways other people are smart, but that doesn’t mean you’re not smart. Find what you’re good at and own that. It’s ok to also know what you’re not good at, don’t be embarrassed by that. There’s no shame in asking for help or asking for someone to teach you how to do something. You can’t be good at everything. But you can be great at something. You have the ability to help people and to be confident with what you do know. Once you find what you’re good at, don’t be content with that. Take that skill or knowledge and nurture it and grow it. Use it to find your niche in the workplace and in life.
Tweet This2 You don’t need to wait for others to become friends with you
You have the ability to decide who you want to be friends with. If you’re new to a place, try not to be worried about how you’ll make friends or who you’ll be friends with. Decide that the ball is in your court. You have the ability to walk up to that guy or girl, compliment them on something you notice (not many people will turn away a kind word, even if they do think you’re weird) and then ask them an open question. Making friends can be easy when you decide it’s your choice whether or not you want to.
3 Your likes and dislikes are a big part of what makes you you. Be honest.
Have you ever had a friend or acquaintance who will agree with everything you say, ever opinion you give? After a while, it gets old. Many people forget that there is an easy way to disagree without rejecting the other person completely. Saying something like, “Yeah I totally see your point, but I usually tend to think of it this way…” Or, “You like strawberry ice cream? My husband loves it too but I just can’t eat it.” Having your own opinions and having the ability to disagree will make you a much better critical thinker and able to stand up for your beliefs if the time comes. It also just makes you a better friend in general. If you see a pal about to make a bad decision, let them know, and let them know you care.
4 Caring more about others than yourself isn’t quite as bad as you think.
I’ve had a lot of conversations with a lot of people who struggle with insecurities. Abusive relationships aside (that’s another post altogether), the person usually at the center of an insecure person’s thoughts is usually… themselves. I know, I know- it sounds a little harsh. But think of all the great people who have given their life for caring for others. Do you think their minds were plagued with thoughts like, “I wonder what they think of me?” The answer is no, because they were way too busy caring for others’ needs (rather than their opinions). When we change our focus from what other people think to what other people need, and we begin to care about the person more than their opinions, our thoughts begin to shift away from ourselves, and our insecurities virtually become nonexistent.
Also read: Insecurity In Marriage and How to Fix It
5 Your body is intricate and beautiful
If you’re being healthy and making good choices with the food you eat, no one can blame you- not even yourself- for the body you were born with. Everyone has the ability to keep up their body well. Let’s face it, it doesn’t take any extra time out of the day to choose the clean foods in the grocery store versus the ones that do harm to your body. Care about yourself and your family enough to make healthy choices. After that, dress and care for your body in a way that makes you feel confident. If you can feel confident leaving the house with #messyhairdontcare, then by all means! If you need a little mascara to look like you’re not a zombie and that helps you to forget about yourself while you’re out, then wear some! You don’t need to do what others do when they leave the house, just what makes you feel comfortable and allows you to leave the insecure thoughts behind.
What do you do when you feel insecurity creeping in? What reminds you to be confident again? Share with a friend who needs to be reminded to be confident today!
All my best,
I find that I feel insecure when I start comparing myself to other people. I assume people know more than I do, are better at things than I am, are prettier, more style etc. And when those thoughts start creeping in then I remind myself of my mothers words to me when I was a teen ‘You’ll never be the prettiest or the smartest but you are prettier and you are smart”. My mother was explaining to me that I would always find someone that I thought was better but that didn’t mean that I did have good qualities or anything to bring to the table. I also try to remind myself to see myself through Gods eyes. One time after an emotional draining relationship with a guy final ended then I was left an emotional mess. I prayed and told God that I wasn’t pretty enough for anyone to want to be with, a good enough conversationalist for any one to care if they talked to me or fun enough for someone to want to spend time with me. I felt God speak to me and say “I’m the God of all creation, I made all the beauty that you see in nature-the sunsets, flowers, waterfalls and I made you and I think you are beautiful. I’m the God of all creation, I can talk to who ever I want and I want you and I to talk every day. I’m the God of all creation and I want to spend time with you every day”. When my confidence starts to waver then I remember those compassionate, loving words and I’m reminded that God who is perfect thinks good thoughts towards me so I should do likewise.
This is just so lovely! I definitely don’t think about confidence all that often but when I feel more insecure it’s because I’m not looking inward for a reassurance I’m seeking outside approval. You’re post is a great reminder that it’s not all about looks or how we are compared to others
I definitely needed this today! Thanks for the great advice. 🙂
xo Brie
http://www.sophistifunkblog.com
Love this! Self-confidence is SO important!
Such a great post 🙂 I agree with all of these.
xoxo, Jenny
I always have to remember the second one. I’m always nervous asking or trying to become friends with someone for a multitude of reasons.
I love the first point being ‘you are smart’. So often we get caught up in our looks, etc., that we forget how smart we are!
Too bad some men such as my ex husband are abusive verbally.. I was 112 pounds after giving birth for the third time and he constantly berated me about that and everything else. He became miserable after all the realities of kids, marriage and life set in. Thank God I left him!! I only wanted peace and I have it. It has been the most wonderful life for me the last 16 years. My kids saw how I was treated and that was the worst part but i demonstrated to them that this is not how a loving couple behave. His second wife left for the same reason and now he is on the lookout for a third.
I don’t subscribe to the idea, as I have hear from some, that our husbands love us for who we are. I even have a friend who is suffering now because after years of marriage, her husband is addicted to porn. I wouldn’t be able to deal with that. He spends much of his time looking at what he considers to be “ideal” women.
Even though you are very young, I agree with much of your posts and articles ( I am 62)
Thank you for these awesome reminders! I loved the second one… I’ve struggled with putting myself out there and talking to other people, but it was a good reminder that I need to let go of my insecurities and learn to be confident. Thanks for sharing!
I definitely needed to read this. I have a self confidence problem, always have. I need to remember to believe in myself and remind myself all then I can do. Thank you for your inspiration, this was a fantastic post.
I love all these points, but the first one is always the hardest for me. Whenever I think I find the thing that I’m great at, immediately it is shown to me that others very close to me are much better… So I guess I have yet to find my “thing”