Struggles of a Young Mom

Let me know if you can relate to any of these...

Let me know if you moms out there can relate to any of these…

All the girls my age still have their pre-pregnancy bodies.

It’s nice to have the standard of a nice body be lowered for those of us that have had children. Anybody ever heard, “Hey you look great for having a baby!” Whatever, I’ll take it.

But hey, tiger stripes are cool, right?

I have a cute bag, but it looks like this on the inside.Mom Bag

Notice the baby socks, the jingly toy that I no longer hear when I walk. I didn’t plant these things; in fact, I’m surprised I didn’t have a pack of wipes and a sippy cup like I usually do. (Ps. there’s a diaper hidden in the zip pocket).

I no longer know what the kids are up to these days (even though I’m only about 1.5 years older than them).

I find myself saying things like “I’ve been seeing the girls wear things like this on pinterest and when I drive to school.” And then I wince a little bit when I hear my voice and the voice of my mother become one in my flashback to middle school (minus the Pinterest part).

I no longer care what the kids are up to these days.

Is it weird that I don’t find a lot of the music on the pop stations as appealing as I did in high school? Or that I wish I had all my old mix tapes from middle and high school?

There’s so many new words and abbreviations. Hangry, yolo, bae. I have to ask my little sisters what these things mean!

Also, is it weird that I can tell the girls who are on Pinterest vs the girls who are not? If you think about it, you totally can! (Not to judge those girls at all, about 50% of my internet time is spent on Pinterest).

I’m a lot more confident and a lot more insecure about a whole new set of things.

What I used to care so much about in high school and college doesn’t matter anymore- the clothes, who your friends were, what you did over the weekend. Having 0 plans Friday night is actually something I can look forward to.

A whole new set of things to be insecure about has set in:

  • So and so’s mom looks great and she’s only 6 weeks postpartum!
  • Baby Sally already knows her please and thank you’s and my baby still calls me “dada.”
  • Darn it, why is it that I only remember baby sign language after I’m cleaning up the meal?!

When I walk around Liberty campus (or the mall, the park, whatever applies to you), I feel old. Even if everyone thinks I’m fitting in, I feel 10 years older than everyone else I’m with.

Even if technically I’m only a year older than graduating seniors, I feel like I’m ten years older. Our lives could not be more different. I’m thinking about what I’m making for dinner and if it’s baby-led-weaning compatible. I’m thinking about that insurance bill we got in the mail the other day and who I need to call, spend 50 minutes on the phone with, and get nowhere again (sorry, mini rant there).

I was the first one from my high school graduating class to get married and have a baby.

I’m 23 now, going on 24 and I can still count on one hand the amount of people from high school who are in the same stage of life as me.

I’m the “mom friend.”

Out of most of our friends, we are the home that can never lock our door because there’s a large chance that someone will come over for something as soon as we do. I have an unhealthy lack of fear when I’m home alone and I hear our backdoor open, because it’s probably one of the kids coming to do laundry or use our kitchen, whatever it may be.

We have the best advice for headaches, colds, sore muscles, etc.

We have good “boy” advice because, you know, we’ve been there.

At least once a week I think to myself “Oh, I forgot to have lunch today…”

This is probably just another mom thing in general.

Everyone asks my husband and I “So how are you doing?

And we know what they mean. “Are you guys fighting a lot with the stress of being young, married, and raising a child?” Can we trust that your smiles are true happiness and not a facade of parents who wish they had done things differently?”

The answer is, “We’re rolling with it and we’re happy!” If you’re worried about our marriage, offer to babysit! We’d love a date night!

Yes, our life is way different than the life a lot of our friends live, but we wouldn’t change a thing!

There’s moments when we will feel a small pang of jealousy at the spontaneity and and control our friends have over their own lives. That’s being completely honest. But at the same time, they don’t yet know the joy is it to have your child scream and laugh in excitement when you walk in the door, or to be the one to make it better when they have the sniffles and can’t sleep. It’s draining, but so worth it.

 

I’m sure there are one hundred more “struggles” I could add to this list but these were the ones that were in the front of my mind. Tell me your struggles as a young mom, average mom, older mom. I’d love to hear!

Chels

  • comment
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Google+
  • Stumble
  • Email
  • Follow @Chelsealeighdamon on Instagram!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Comments

    SuE

    I love this post!! I found myself laughing out loud, so I guess I can relate 🙂 even if I am an older mom. I think that somehow experience makes you feel older, and birthing a baby is certainly a growing and memorable experience. One that is even hard to relate to those who have not experienced it.

    KAtie

    I love your honesty here. And I’m so glad you wrote this because I think it is going to make you smile half a dozen years from now when all of the insecurities change yet again. It’s funny how life does that in stages and phases. I feel like I was just in your shoes and then I blinked and there were no more diapers, no more babies. At some point we started worrying about educational choices and developmental activities, sports versus academics and developing each child’s strengths and gifts. No matter what the stage, I’m so thankful we can give all that worry to God. Blessings to your little family!

      Chelsea

      Thanks Katie! Such great insight from a mom in the next stage. I do my best to savor and ponder every moment because I know they won’t last! Families are such a blessing!

        Brittany

        Can I hug you? This is my life. 100%
        25 with a 2&1/2 yr old boy and step mom to a 5&1/2 yr old girl… I need friends like you

    Sam // DIY just cuz

    I can relate to you so much 🙂 I’m 23 and I definitely know what you mean about being “different” than people, sort of. Not so much people I went to high school with…a surprising number of those people ended up having children, though I’m not sure they were “planning on it” since most of them did when they were in high school. However, everyone I knew from college is in a way different place than me. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just a thing. “Having 0 plans Friday night is actually something I can look forward to.” YES.

    Sheena Neil

    I can definitely relate to a few of those points. I am proud of my tiger tripes and to be honest I am happier being a mum than I was before my boy came into my world. I guess he has given me a purpose and I feel honoured to wear the mum badge. 🙂

    Maya

    Hi,

    Great post. I read your post and it literally sounds like you wrote about me. I graduated high school in May and was married to my first love by September that same year. We just celebrated out 10 year wedding anniversary and we have a almost 9 year old and a 3 year old. I felt the same when I had my first son. I am 28 and when I go out in public with my kids I always get stares especially when I am with my older one. I would not change a thing about my decisions and the way my life has turned out. I enjoy it so much.

    Natasha

    Hi Chelsea! I love how you summed this up – You wouldn’t change a thing! And that’s how to look at it. This is your own personal journey and the path meant for you to take. Believe me, you’ll be able to share and help other women with all of the experience and wisdom you’re gaining. God bless!

    Crystal

    I can certainly relate. I was a teen mom, so by the time the people my own age had babies, I was on my fourth and fifth. My advice to you is make friends with mom you are in the same stage of life as. Look for playgroups or MOPS to find them. All my friends used to be 10+ years older than me and now I am the ‘old’ mom.

      Chelsea

      That’s great advice. I would love to find a MOPS group somewhere around here!

    Shann Eva

    It’s funny .I’m an older mom, yet I was still the first one of my friends to have a baby, so I can totally relate . Thank you for such a great, honest post .

      Chelsea

      Funny how motherhood can bring so many different people together. Thanks for reading, Shann Eva!

    Cindy Calzone

    I really liked this post! It was cute and honest! I think it is the first time I have encountered your blog, but I plan on being a forever reader now! I wasn’t very young when I had my son (26) but I still felt a lot of the same things you do, especially with friends who had not yet had kids, or even get married yet. Don’t worry about all that…sounds like you are doing fabulous!

    http://www.HometownQueenBee.blogspot.com <3

    Izabela

    What a great and honest post. Sadly I’m not married and don’t have a kid so I can’t relate to you. But I’m sure that you wouldn’t want to change a thing about your life.

    Cliona

    Aw, such a nice post. I remember feeling quite left out when I had my first daughter (who is 20 now!) because I was the only one of my friends who had a child. I wouldn’t change it for the world though. It flies by so quickly.

    Jaimee

    I love how genuine your posts are. Motherhood is something I hope I get to experience in my future, but I don’t think I could handle it now. I look up to all mothers. You’re all very strong women!

    The conservative mommy

    Hahaha great post! Little ones sure do change EVERYTHING!

    Laura

    I am not a mom yet, but this had me laughing out loud! Thanks for the read!

    xx.
    Laura
    http://www.theaverygrace.com

    eliz frank

    Your journey and experiences are so special that no one can ever take them from you. Life is about all sorts of trials and unexpected events, and we are always the richer for them. <3

      Chelsea

      I agree completely, thank you Eliz 🙂

        Eliz Frank

        Thank you Chels,
        l loved your post, and Yolo, Bae, and Hangry are a mystery to me too. Ha! 😉

    Tammy Greene

    This is such a great post. My purse looks a lot like that too. I was just telling my sister the other day ( as I was digging thru my disaster of a purse ) that I am probably one of few people who have a ninja mask in her purse 🙂

    I am an older mom and I still have many insecurities. I’m not sure they will ever go away. Each stage of life and parenthood brings a whole new set of things to worry about. But that’s OK. It’s all part of the journey.

    Wish I could babysit for you so you could get a date night 🙂 I definitely know how important that is.

    Tori

    This is awesome! I could totally relate! I don’t even have a handbag anymore, now I use an actual back pack for s changing bag (with two under twos it is needed!)

    Michael

    This was very interesting for me to read, as I am not a mom… 😉

    I’m a bit older than you, but I’ve experienced several similar feelings, as a man. I returned to college a few years ago, and was shocked at how much older I felt than my peers.

    Music was different, people were different, attitudes had changed. Of course, I know longer cared about fitting in, so that had changed in me, as well!

    Thank you for sharing with us!

    Diedre

    I wouldn’t call myself an older mom at 32, but I am a little older than you. I think the hardest thing for me is balancing it all-keeping a home, working outside of the home, having a healthy marriage and being a good mom/role model for my girls. Thanks for sharing.

    Eileen

    I can totally relate to when I was your age. I too married at 23, had babies right away! I really enjoyed reading your post. Very truthful! It does get easier! I will be following your story!!

    Kailei

    So much truth to this! I was 25 when I had my first, but I still absolutely get it. Especially all the insecurities. I wish I could say that I actually know what I’m doing! haha. But I guess we just have to figure it out day by day. Even with all the struggles, being a mom is the best thing ever!

    Nicole Nemeth

    I can totally relate to a lot of these! I had my daughter when I was 17, and she’s now turning 8 at the end of October. Being the only parent in my group of friends for a long time definitely made me feel strange but I wouldn’t change it for the world! I love my daughter and husband, and our life together!

    Rachelle

    I loved this so much. You are so real and transparent. 🙂

    Sheryl

    Thanks for sharing!

    Dreammerin

    I have no experience but it’s a lot of inspirations !! I hope you visit my blog too! Greetings!!

    Whitney Trevillian

    Chelsea, I wish I looked the way you do and I haven’t even HAD a baby!!! You look good, girl!! And from the sounds of it, you are ROCKING being a young mom!! Keep doing you!!! <3

    -Whitney, @handspuncinema

    Hannah Diane

    Yes, yes, yes! I’m a new mom at 20- got married at 19. These are SO true!

    Amarylis

    That picture of your bag made me laugh so hard. Very funny post!

    Ashley

    Oh yes. Though I may not be in the young mom category anymore, I had my first at 24 and was the first of my friends to have a little. But the change in my life was similar to yours. My bag was filled with random crap but I no longer cared. The things that were important changed because my life changed, and it was all for the better!

    Scott

    We chose to wait until having kids. While we not have pre-teens, all our high school classmates are grandparents!

    Natalie slater

    I love this post. I think a lot of moms feels like this. Just the other day my hubby and I were talking about how nice it would be to go back to teen life when your biggest concern is what your plans are for the weekend. Oh, to be 16 again.

    ReBecca

    I wouldn’t know the struggles personally but plenty of my friends have kids so I’ve seen them!

    Jessica

    Love what you said about offering to babysit! For real! But seriously, people can be so nosy 😉

    McKaye

    I loved this post so much. I could relate to every one of those. You seem young and vibrant. While I feel like an old soul, I too am young. It’s nice to know your not the only one in your boat.

    Cate

    Girl, I get it! I’m also 23 with an almost 4-year-old and a 16-month-old. Everything here applies to me and I have almost no friends simply because my life went a different direction than my high school/college friends. I love seeing it ghee moms who get it. 🙂

    Laura

    This is such an honest post. This is the kind of thing I like to read. I felt this way when I had my first child at 23, so I understand. I waited until I was 29 to have my second son and now that I will be 40 this December I look back and laugh at the things I used to think. You will definitely look back and smile or even laugh. Now, even at my age, I have new worries. Mostly about still looking young, lol. Luckily, so far, I don’t look my age, Let’s hope it lasts a while longer.

    Healing Mama

    I really love this post. I like seeing things from your perspective!

    Trish

    This is a great and honest post – and I think it will speak to a lot of other young mothers!

    Chelsea

    Chelsea- It may be hard sometimes for you being the “mom” friend, but the truth is, I’m beyond jealous of you. I’m the same age as you and want a baby more than anything in the world. My fiance and I are waiting until we get married and until I finish grad school, but the truth is that I feel a part of me is missing until I have a baby. I know I was born to be a mom. I wish I didn’t have to wait for 3 more years.

      Chelsea

      Wow 3 years is a long time to wait! I don’t mean to discourage you at all. I’ve just never been good with waiting for anything! 26 is still a wonderful age to start a family. My mom was 28 when she stared having kids. I will say that I do love being the mom friend and being a mom at 23. Have your fiance spend some time will some really cute and well behaved babies and maybe he’ll catch the fever too 🙂

    Lindsey

    I can absolutely relate to all of these. I was 22 when I had my daughter, 25 now. I didn’t get a chance to graduate college before she was born, so now I’m going “back-to-school” while all my friends are getting married and having babies. I just keep trying to tell myself that I’ll only be 40 when she graduates!

    P.S. You have a great sense of humor. Young mommies unite!

    Taylor

    I have to be honest, sometimes posts like these sting a little. Some people wish they could’ve been young moms, but for one reason or another, weren’t able to. My husband and I were both in marriage-bound relationships at 20, but they ended abruptly and tragically (my husband’s girlfriend died, I called off my wedding). My husband and I met when we were 23 and 26, married less than 1.5 years later, and have spent the last 3.5 years trying to conceive. So for a long time we did feel different from our friends…because we were the only ones without kids. Heartbreakingly. We’ve recently become foster-to-adopt parents of two 7- and 8-year-old little boys, and are again so different from our friends! Now we have the oldest kids, and they both have special needs and severe behaviors, so no one we know can relate! Funny how life works…

      Chelsea

      Hi Taylor,
      Thanks so much for your honest comment and taking the time to read the post. To be honest myself, one of the reasons why I wrote “Struggles of a Young Mom” was in an attempt to reach out to others who could relate to my stage of life because my husband and I know so few. My husband and I have pretty much just started to make friends who are older with kids because we don’t know many young families who live near us. I have close friends who have just adopted a baby girl with special needs (they also have a daughter with cerebral palsy and 2 boys of their own). Taking care of children with special needs is such a wonderful sacrifice for any parent to take on, let alone willingly choosing to do so. I have a lot of respect for you and your husband choosing to love and care for those boys and I know you will make wonderful parents. I pray that you will be able to find groups (whether online or in person) who can relate and encourage you through this long but rewarding journey!
      Chels

    Misty

    This is me right now. Sitting at home on a Friday with no plans and thankful I have a moment to be on Pinterest. Except I have no friends but I’m okay with that I’m totally happy being a mother and a wife at 23. Probably the only thing I’ve ever felt good at. Good post made me feel not so alone.

    Micah

    I love this! I got married a month before graduating high school,
    We both just turned 25 and are expecting our 4th baby this summer! I can absolutely relate to this! This is also why I joined MOPS and mostly hang out with moms that are mostly 5 years older than me because we are just in the same place. Most have been married about the same amount of time, kids the same age etc. I’m also trying to really remember to be a roll model for the young wives and moms coming up, and try to be that older mom friend for them as well because it was such a struggle to not relate with other people my age about 5 years ago!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Katie

    I’m 22 and have a 5 month old and another one on the way! My husband and I were driving the other day and Taylor Swift’s 22 came on the radio and I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. The hardest thing for me is that as an extrovert, I still want to go out and have fun! Making other mom friends is tough, seems like most of the women I meet are older and are on their last baby and have a kid in middle school, lol. All the girls I grew up with are just now graduating college, whereas I finished highschool and college early and worked for a year before I got married. It can be fun to be the one everyone comes to for life advice, but it can also be somewhat lonely when you’re the one wanting advice! I’m glad that there are other young moms out there who can relate!

    Natalie

    Thanks so much for this. I’m actually just 10 weeks pregnant with our first, and I’ll be 23 when the baby is born. We have other married friends, but we are the first to have kids. We just moved to a new area where there are 4 or 5 married couples who are all almost 30, with no kids. I’m actually nervous about telling them about our pregnancy because I’m so afraid of what they’ll think. This baby wasn’t planned, but is a huge blessing nonetheless. We are just in a very different place in life than people even a decade older!

    @chelsealeighdamon