• To be stronger • To feel better • To trai • To be stronger
• To feel better 
• To train my mind to know that hard things are good things
• To set an example 
• For longevity
• To get out of the house 
• To start the day on the right foot
• To listen to good music for a little while
• To have productive alone time

I just wanted to list a few "Why"s in case you were having a hard time finding yours today. Goodness knows I struggle some days but usually one of these pulls through for me ❤️

@nakd.sport
It might be a couple years later, but we're doing It might be a couple years later, but we're doing the same old stuff still today ☺️❤️
My Valentines 💘 #happyvalentinesday❤️ My Valentines 💘

#happyvalentinesday❤️
How many kids did you say you wanted growing up an How many kids did you say you wanted growing up and how many do you have (or hope for) now? Growing up I used to say I wanted 6 kids 😭💀💀 Love these babes but let's just say I have a new perspective these days 😂
The best sandles are the ones you can paint your n The best sandles are the ones you can paint your nails in 5 minutes after you should have already left 😂💅

@naotfootwear is one of my favorite all time brands for many reasons, but one of the best is the fact that when you purchase any shoe from naot.com, the order is fulfilled by the closest independent retailer to you. How genius is that?? #shopsmall #naottogether #naotic
Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has already melted but the kids woke up to the best surprise today! ❄️❄️
Healthy habits > motivation Yeh? This seamless se Healthy habits > motivation
Yeh?

This seamless set that moves everywhere you do is called The Braden by @nakd.sport 🖤
#ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity #ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink powder mix in my bag to have on the go. The elderberry drink has vitamin C, vitamin d, and zinc plus the power of 300 elderberries to help increase my immune cell production and activation. PSSST - it also is amazingly soothing as a hot drink in the evening to boost my immune system before going to sleep and allowing my body to recover overnight. Hit the link in my stories to grab a pack of @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink and gummies! Use code CHELSEA for 15% off!

#clinicalimmunity 
#lifeseasonspartner
@lifeseasons
I’ve talked about this before but never to its f I’ve talked about this before but never to its full extent. 

6ish years ago I was working full-time as a doctor’s assistant and coming home to an 8-month-old baby while Josh worked 12-hour shifts until midnight. I was so busy that I felt like I was losing my sense of identity. 

That year I decided to start my blog. I kept it a secret for a while because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to think, “Who does she think she is? We’ve known her for years and she thinks she has something to say??”

But - I loved it! I wrote posts on everything! Random pizza recipes, how my run went that day, marriage, motherhood - I had absolutely no direction. But, I started sharing my blog and got a bunch of great feedback on my marriage and family posts. So, I decided to focus on that because that was, afterall, my favorite thing to write about anyway.

A few months later, I started pinning my posts on Pinterest and educating myself on what it meant to blog well, set up posts for good SEO, how to engage an audience, etc. I had a couple posts go viral on Pinterest and for a few months I had over 350,000 views on my blog/month.

Way late in the game, I started posting to Instagram in 2017. By then we had 2 babies and I had been working with brands for a while so I was able to quit my (at the time) part-time job to stay home with them which I was stoked about! 

Later that year, we packed up our stuff and moved to WA. The original plan was for Josh to find work and for me to continue blogging & be a SAHM. But, after several months later and finding it much harder for Josh to find work than we anticipated, I told him, "Hey, don't feel bad, I don't want you to feel pressure. I will look for work to take some of the pressure off."

So, I started applying for jobs in social media and content marketing. About a month into my search I made a profile on a job-matching platform called @scouted.io. A couple weeks later, I got an email from someone at Scouted saying that they were looking for someone to help with their content and they wanted to have a conversation. 

** Continued in comments **
  • Family
  • Marriage
  • fitness
  • travel
  • Life & Finances
  • Home
  • Blog
    • Family
    • Marriage
    • fitness
    • travel
    • Life & Finances
    • Book
  • About
  • Contact
  • Shop Presets

Living the Sweet Wife

  • Home
  • Blog
    • Family
    • Marriage
    • fitness
    • travel
    • Life & Finances
    • Book
  • About
  • Contact
  • Shop Presets

Dating, Family, Marriage · April 23, 2016

How to fix your stressed out man

Anyone ever had to deal with a stressed out man in your life? Well if you have, you know it sucks. Because we know that men, as simple as they like to be, actually become really complicated when it comes to stress. And it can be so darn frustrating because that’s where we feel we can be a pro at helping and talking through it! But chances are if your man is stressed, he doesn’t like to talk about it much. So what’s a girl to do?

 

Anyone ever had to deal with a stressed out man in your life? Well if you have, you know it sucks. Because we know that men, as simple as they like to be, actually become really complicated when it comes to stress. And it can be so darn frustrating because that’s where we feel we can be a pro at helping and talking through it! But chances are if your man is stressed, he doesn’t like to talk about it much. So what’s a girl to do?

First of all, we need to realize that men don’t always stress out about the same things as women. Or if we are stressed about the same thing, we approach it differently than the man in our life would.

Secondly, take note of the signs of a stressed out man. Chances are he’s not going to come to you in tears wanting to talk about it.

Is your husband ( boyfriend, etc.)…

  • Quiet… too quiet
  • Starting to get “short” with you
  • Never wanting to talk about work (or the thing you think might be stressing him)
  • Getting set off by seemingly small things?

If you answered “yes” to any of the above, your husband could be stressed!

Take a look at a few of these suggestions below and see if you can’t relieve some of the stress off your man.

Do more than you normally would

Gender roles aside, every household or relationship has generally accepted roles or responsibilities. In our house, I do laundry (kind of) and my husband mows the lawn. If you notice that your man is stressed out by something going on in his life, whether it’s a big decision to make, family problems, something at work, etc., try to take on a little bit more responsibility than you normally would. This doesn’t have to be a long term thing, in fact, it (in most cases probably) shouldn’t be. Stress shouldn’t be something that cripples your man long term, but if a little extra act of love helps to ease his burden, by all means, why not?! If I’m stressed at work, coming home to an immaculate home makes me feel so much better! It doesn’t fix the problem, but at least it doesn’t give me more problems!

Apply this:

Think of a chore or responsibility that your husband usually does and do it for him one week, let him know that you know he’s stressed and you just want to help!

Talk to him about how you care more about your relationship with him than you do about the things he can provide you.

Here’s a quote from one of the two books I’m so glad Josh and I read before we got married, For Men Only (I read For Women Only. Actually, I read both. I had to make sure what they were telling him was true. It was.)

“While most men think that a woman wants financial security, what she wants even more is emotional security. That is, she wants to feel close to you, to know that she’s your non-work-time priority, to know you’re committed to her, and to have you involved at home. And although she does want financial security, wants you to be fulfilled in your work, and appreciates your efforts to provide, she’d willingly endure financial struggles if that’s what it took to have more of you (such as if you wanted a lower paying, more family-friendly job).”

When I first read this, I was kind of boggled by the fact that my husband could possibly think that I care about him having a good paying job more than I care about being close and having time with him! In fact though, many men operate under the belief that their wives will be unhappy with them if they can’t give them a certain standard of life. But many women, myself included, would be totally cool with giving up some unnecessarily things in life to get a better, healthier relationship with a not-stressed-out man!

Apply this:

Be flexible about your lifestyle, be willing to make changes. Tell your husband that you are proud of him, but you care more about his happiness and your relationship than the money he brings in; let him know you’d be willing to make changes if it would mean a happier husband!

If he does talk, listen, listen, listen!

As a wife, mom, employee, blogger, etc. who has gotten used to a slight, constant, caffein jitter, my mind can run 1000 mph in every direction. When my husband does start talking about what’s stressing him out, for whatever reason, it’s usually in the car. Unfortunately, that’s when my mind is especially hyper-active. I’ll usually listen to what he says, give a short reply, and then ask him the unrelated question that brewing in my mind while he was talking. And then he gets quiet again and I realized I lost a precious moment when my husband wanted to open up to me.

Apply this:

Be observant of your husband. Take notice if he’s acting any of the ways I mentioned in my intro. If he is, watch out for when he opens up to you. Many men will be ok with talking to you about what stresses them, in their own time. And when that happens, listen.

Another important thing to make sure you DON’T do is freak out about the fact that your man is  actually sharing his feelings with you. Play it cool, listen, empathize, and then maybe introduce some of the points previously mentioned.

Make your home a safe haven

This can mean many things to many families. Ever hear the quote, “Make him look forward to coming home”? I believe that is sooo important in many marriages! In 8 of The Worst Marriage Habits I talk about how important it is to be happy to see your guy when he comes home (or when you come home)!

Besides just being happy to greet your husband, make your home a generally happy place. Choose joy even when you’re exhausted, it will set an example to your husband to be positive and choose joy when he feels overwhelmed too. This isn’t to say you always need to have a smile on your face and never talk about your problems. By all means, be real and honest. But choosing joy and creating an open, loving home life will always be an option at your fingertips.

Apply this:

Always be open and honest, but also choose joy. Make your home a happy place to come home to and let your man know you’re happy to see him.

Ask questions, but do it in the right way

If you’re lucky, you might be with a guy who has NO PROBLEM opening up and telling you exactly what his worries and stressors are. If so, good for you. (Not sarcastic. With my awkwards sense of humor I usually have to specify. Sorry everyone).

But if your significant other is anything like mine, he’ll totally not want to talk about what’s bothering him. He’ll keep it inside. And then for some weird reason, not being able to find any matching socks becomes a really big deal and he’ll get totally put out over it (Or mayyybe something else is bothering him….)

Over time, I’ve learned that if I want to know what’s bothering my hubs, I can’t just ask. I need to pry. I’ve actually become really good at it. Here, I’ll teach you how to pry:

  • Don’t ask: Why are you stressed?
  • Instead, ask: So I know the year is coming to an end soon, does that mean work has been crazy for you?
^^aka, get sneaky with your questions^^
  • Don’t ask: Why are you mad right now??
  • Instead, ask: Is there anything I can do to help you right now or today?
  • Don’t ask: Why does this bother you?
  • Instead, say: I want to understand why this bothers you.

Encourage him to do something he finds fun

My husband is a man of many hats. One day I think he’s Johnny Cash, the next day I think he’s the nerdiest guy on earth. Just like mama needs her “me-time,” so does Josh. If I can tell he’s stressing out, I tell him to go play his guitar, or be a gaming nerd with his friends for the night. Just do something fun that reminds him of the simple pleasures in life and helps him to take a break from the stress.

Apply this:

Encourage your man to do something fun that maybe he hasn’t done in a while! Keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be without you! I’ll bet you $10 bucks (ha, not really. That’s like two starbucks) that your guy would love to go out and do one of his favorite hobbies with you! Get him having fun and laughing and let him forget about his stress, even just for a little while.

Ok ladies, I’m really confident that if you follow some (or all of these tips), that you will be doing everything in your power to lighten the burden of stress he carries and remind him that you love him, and it’s going to be ok. That’s not to say that what he’s worrying about isn’t real. Men are usually pretty good at only worrying about the big stuff. But knowing that he’s not alone and that all the pressure doesn’t rest solely on him to fix it will be sure to bridge that gap of distance that stress can force into a relationship.

Let me know what helps your man get over a stressful day or more long-term problem? How do you show him that your home is a safe place to come home to? Leave your own ideas in the comments below and share with a girl in need of some pointers!

script sig

In: Dating, Family, Marriage · Tagged: choose joy, encourage, family, happy, home, husband, joy, man, overwhelmed, questions, significant other, stress, Work

join the club

You’ll Also Love

Cultivating Quality Time With the Kids This Holiday Season
WHAT TO DO WITH A FREE DAY IN SEATTLE: A PARENTS’ STAYCATIONWhat to do with a Free Day in Seattle: A Parents’ Staycation
3 Ways to Make the End of Summer a Blast for the Kids

Comments

  1. Diana Billy says

    April 24, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    You have a great talent to educate people. And I really enjoy your topic. Nice work

    Reply
  2. Connie Brandys says

    April 26, 2016 at 1:10 am

    My guy goes fishing. Takes a vacation from work. Since he gets 4 weeks, this is not terrible to endure. And, he looks forward to coming home again.

    Reply
  3. Melanie says

    May 1, 2016 at 8:14 pm

    Good ideas. My man gets stressed out a lot. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Reply
  4. Laina Turner says

    May 2, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    Such good advice. We tend to overlook the little things.

    Reply
  5. Healing Mama says

    May 2, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    I really love your tips. I agree with everything that you said. I think it’s so important to have these types of skills in a relationship because it can really improve the quality of the relationship. I love these tips

    Reply
  6. Christine @ The Mostly Simple Life says

    May 2, 2016 at 8:58 pm

    Great tips! It helps so much to have fun together when one of us is stressed.

    Reply
  7. Jenny says

    May 3, 2016 at 3:01 am

    My fiance seems to be stressed a lot so these tips are very helpful.

    xoxo, Jenny

    Reply
  8. Angela says

    May 9, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    Thanks for sharing. My husband is a salesman for John Deere. Right now is their busy season and he is stressed beyond belief. I will try these tips on him!

    Reply
    • Chelsea says

      May 10, 2016 at 4:59 pm

      Good! It can be so hard to see your husband stressed and it can leave us feeling powerless and unsure how to help. Let us know how it goes! Thanks Angela!

      Reply
  9. Vinita Gaur says

    May 18, 2016 at 6:53 pm

    Thank you for the tips…I really need these…nowadays my hubby is too stressed because of his business..I’ll definitely try…thanks..

    Reply
  10. Erin Kirk says

    October 5, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    I am new to your site and really enjoying your articles. I want to love my man the way he needs and the way God intends, and your insights are perfect! Thank you so much 🙂

    Reply
  11. Zahirah says

    April 4, 2017 at 11:48 am

    I try to let him know how special he is by preparing his favorite food, leaving love notes in his pocket in the morning before he goes to work, or on the bathroom mirror for him to see when he wakes up in the morning. Take him to his favorite restaurant, go see a movie he’d really be into, even if it’s not on my ‘must-see’ list. Make a list of things I appreciate and value about him. I’ve noticed that during times of stress, men need to feel appreciated and respected more than usual.

    Reply
  12. LANA says

    May 1, 2020 at 6:02 pm

    Thank you for your tips. I’ve learned a lot.
    We’re in a long distance relationship. He had an important interview yesterday and he kept silent after that. I sent him a message to ask if he’s doing ok, I hope his interview went well and let him know that I’m always willing to listen to him but hint that anytime he feels comfortable. That’s all I can do now. When he opens up to me, I’ll make sure he feel appreciated and that he has my full support.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Next Post >

Things for couples to do when there’ s nothing good to do

Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

join the club

Recent Posts

3 Ways to Make the End of Summer a Blast for the Kids

3 Ways to Make the End of Summer a Blast for the Kids

3 Ways I Create Quality Time With My Husband

3 Ways I Create Quality Time With My Husband

The Best Tips + Packing List for Hiking with Kids and Babies

The Best Tips + Packing List for Hiking with Kids and Babies

A Tour of Our Home

A Tour of Our Home

Cultivating Quality Time With the Kids This Holiday Season

Cultivating Quality Time With the Kids This Holiday Season

My Etsy and Small Business Gift Guide for Her 2020

My Etsy and Small Business Gift Guide for Her 2020

Categories

  • Family
  • Marriage
  • fitness
  • travel
  • Life & Finances
Shop Presets

Instagram

• To be stronger • To feel better • To trai • To be stronger
• To feel better 
• To train my mind to know that hard things are good things
• To set an example 
• For longevity
• To get out of the house 
• To start the day on the right foot
• To listen to good music for a little while
• To have productive alone time

I just wanted to list a few "Why"s in case you were having a hard time finding yours today. Goodness knows I struggle some days but usually one of these pulls through for me ❤️

@nakd.sport
It might be a couple years later, but we're doing It might be a couple years later, but we're doing the same old stuff still today ☺️❤️
My Valentines 💘 #happyvalentinesday❤️ My Valentines 💘

#happyvalentinesday❤️
How many kids did you say you wanted growing up an How many kids did you say you wanted growing up and how many do you have (or hope for) now? Growing up I used to say I wanted 6 kids 😭💀💀 Love these babes but let's just say I have a new perspective these days 😂

trending now

  • So I know the title of this post says, “What men want most in a wife,” but to be more realistic, this is about what men need most in a wife. Like men, there are a lot of things that we (women) would really like in a husband. Like, it’d be a huge plus if he looked like Chris Hemsworth. But that’s not really what we need in order to have a positive relationship with our spouse. If we married him, we probably think he’s pretty cute, anyway. Take a look at these 5 things a man really needs in a wife, and if you can think of anything else, share your thoughts in the comments below! 5 Things men want most in a wife
  • Do you ever wish that sometimes you could just write a long list to your spouse of all the things he does that drive you insane?? I have done this. 8 of the Worst Marriage Habits
  • Disrespect in marriage can go both ways. Women can react to disrespect from their husbands in many ways. I'm here to share a few positive ways women can react to disrespect in their marriages in order to handle it well and steer their marriage in the direction of grace and kindness again. How to Handle Disrespect in Marriage
  • Sure, they say don’t go to bed while you’re still angry, but sometimes husbands and wives just need some space! That being said, there are healthy ways and unhealthy ways (productive and hurtful, if you will) to get space away from a spouse. Let’s talk about those. The Right and Wrong Way To Give Your Spouse Space

instagram

Follow @chelsealeighdamon

• To be stronger • To feel better • To trai • To be stronger
• To feel better 
• To train my mind to know that hard things are good things
• To set an example 
• For longevity
• To get out of the house 
• To start the day on the right foot
• To listen to good music for a little while
• To have productive alone time

I just wanted to list a few "Why"s in case you were having a hard time finding yours today. Goodness knows I struggle some days but usually one of these pulls through for me ❤️

@nakd.sport
It might be a couple years later, but we're doing It might be a couple years later, but we're doing the same old stuff still today ☺️❤️
My Valentines 💘 #happyvalentinesday❤️ My Valentines 💘

#happyvalentinesday❤️
How many kids did you say you wanted growing up an How many kids did you say you wanted growing up and how many do you have (or hope for) now? Growing up I used to say I wanted 6 kids 😭💀💀 Love these babes but let's just say I have a new perspective these days 😂
The best sandles are the ones you can paint your n The best sandles are the ones you can paint your nails in 5 minutes after you should have already left 😂💅

@naotfootwear is one of my favorite all time brands for many reasons, but one of the best is the fact that when you purchase any shoe from naot.com, the order is fulfilled by the closest independent retailer to you. How genius is that?? #shopsmall #naottogether #naotic
Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has already melted but the kids woke up to the best surprise today! ❄️❄️
Healthy habits > motivation Yeh? This seamless se Healthy habits > motivation
Yeh?

This seamless set that moves everywhere you do is called The Braden by @nakd.sport 🖤
#ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity #ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink powder mix in my bag to have on the go. The elderberry drink has vitamin C, vitamin d, and zinc plus the power of 300 elderberries to help increase my immune cell production and activation. PSSST - it also is amazingly soothing as a hot drink in the evening to boost my immune system before going to sleep and allowing my body to recover overnight. Hit the link in my stories to grab a pack of @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink and gummies! Use code CHELSEA for 15% off!

#clinicalimmunity 
#lifeseasonspartner
@lifeseasons
I’ve talked about this before but never to its f I’ve talked about this before but never to its full extent. 

6ish years ago I was working full-time as a doctor’s assistant and coming home to an 8-month-old baby while Josh worked 12-hour shifts until midnight. I was so busy that I felt like I was losing my sense of identity. 

That year I decided to start my blog. I kept it a secret for a while because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to think, “Who does she think she is? We’ve known her for years and she thinks she has something to say??”

But - I loved it! I wrote posts on everything! Random pizza recipes, how my run went that day, marriage, motherhood - I had absolutely no direction. But, I started sharing my blog and got a bunch of great feedback on my marriage and family posts. So, I decided to focus on that because that was, afterall, my favorite thing to write about anyway.

A few months later, I started pinning my posts on Pinterest and educating myself on what it meant to blog well, set up posts for good SEO, how to engage an audience, etc. I had a couple posts go viral on Pinterest and for a few months I had over 350,000 views on my blog/month.

Way late in the game, I started posting to Instagram in 2017. By then we had 2 babies and I had been working with brands for a while so I was able to quit my (at the time) part-time job to stay home with them which I was stoked about! 

Later that year, we packed up our stuff and moved to WA. The original plan was for Josh to find work and for me to continue blogging & be a SAHM. But, after several months later and finding it much harder for Josh to find work than we anticipated, I told him, "Hey, don't feel bad, I don't want you to feel pressure. I will look for work to take some of the pressure off."

So, I started applying for jobs in social media and content marketing. About a month into my search I made a profile on a job-matching platform called @scouted.io. A couple weeks later, I got an email from someone at Scouted saying that they were looking for someone to help with their content and they wanted to have a conversation. 

** Continued in comments **
Honest question: Do you spend any part of your day Honest question: Do you spend any part of your day feeling uncomfortable?

🤔 If no, why not?

🤔 If yes, why? What is it that you do to feel uncomfortable?

Putting ourselves in situations where we feel uncomfortable is so unnatural. The brain is WIRED to find the easiest way, the path of least resistance, to feel safe.

But if we let that go so long unchecked, we're likely to find ourselves in a comfortable routine where nothing changes and we begin to feel apathetic about our own progress and the world around us.

✖️ Choosing to not attend (and have a voice in) important meetings because it's easier to get a memo about it later.

 ✖️ Choosing not to get coffee with a person because it could get awkward if you don't know what to say.

✖️ Snoozing the alarm rather than waking up earlier to workout and make health a priority. 

✖️ Not approaching a homeless person with a bag of lunch because it's hard to look them in the eye when you have so much. 

✖️ Avoiding inviting a friend or family member into your home for an extended period of time so they can get back on their feet.

Being uncomfortable opens your eyes!! It's even scary sometimes. But it always leads to progress. It's impossible to grow without making yourself uncomfortable in some way.

What's something you've done recently that felt uncomfortable?

Explore

  • About
  • Shop Presets
  • My Book
  • Contact

join the club

Shop My Favorites

  • Travel Essentials
  • Style Faves
  • Home Decor
  • Beauty Routine
  • About
  • Media Kit | Guest Posting
  • Privacy Policy & T&C’s

Copyright © 2021 Living the Sweet Wife · Theme by 17th Avenue