Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growin Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growing up, I thought it was pretty much all I was cut out to do, which ended up being false. But even though I've learned that I'm capable of so many other things, being a mom is still one of my highest aspirations. As we're getting our home ready for fostering, I can't help but think of how the little one(s) entering our home will feel but also how David and Evy will feel. How will they react if we parent slightly differently? Will they understand that we're working to build trust and connection or will they feel indignant? These are the things I pray about and also speak to the kids about in the days leading up. We're all excited but I have the feeling of heaviness that we don't and won't understand the burden until we're all already carrying it together.
Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over here and I think it might be working 😉 Today the kids had TWOsday at school and they were so sweet. David wore a tie (I don't exactly get how it tirles in to Twosday but the kids were happy so..) and Evy "twinned" with a couple of sweet friends in her class. It's so sweet when you see your own kids building their own friendships. It just loosens a little piece of anxiety I've had about parenthood since David was still in my tummy. How did you spend your TWOsday??

Sandals @naotfootwear 💕
Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Jos Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Josh in a quiet house - the kids slept over my parent's last night. Got up, raced to clean the kitchen as fast as I could while my coffee was brewing. The coffee won this time. 

I recorded a Reel while getting ready. Went to the place where we were going to meet my fam a bit early so Josh and I could get in a walk. Then we got coffee, went to a huge antique store (sadly left with nothing but took pictures of my faves so I can remember to come back) and went to lunch with the kids and my parents. Love easy-going and fun days like these 🖤
Back in the day,I was talking with someone about m Back in the day,I was talking with someone about marriage.Josh and I had been married for a few years at that point but this guy was still single. ..

He told me he was studying to get his masters in counseling and he wanted to be a marriage counselor one day.I thought "Hey that's pretty cool" but, curious,because,you know, he was single. 

Anyway, after we'd been talking a few minutes about our interest in helping married couples, he leaned in and said, "You know, I have this theory on marriage.." "Oh yeah?" I said (pretty curious to hear what theories this guy had for all of marriage for everyone everywhere). 

He said, "I believe that every single problem in marriage boils down to communication."

At the time, I didn't really know what to say. I'm more of a *reflector* and then I come up with what I wish I had said later.

Here's what I wish I had said: "Um. Yeah I don't think so. I mean sure, communication helps with a lot of issues. But what about selfishness,⠀addiction,⠀past hurt and trauma, etc? Communication will help people work through those issues but they're connected to much deeper issues that concern the heart--not just your communication skills."

We are all broken, very human, beings and when left to our own devices,⠀we don't have all the tools necessary to "fix" ourselves or our spouse's problems. We can talk until we're blue in the face but we just can't fix ourselves. 

What we do need, is to lean on the Creator who made all things good and makes all things new. To understand that we are not the main characters here. The whole world and everything in it points to Christ and His redeeming power. And yes, he often works that out through us and often through communication. But it's not communication that saves marriages. It's Jesus.

I was just thinking about that today and wanted to get it off my chest. What role do you think communication plays?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! 🎁 Merry Christmas from the Damons! 🎁
So much joy in one photo! Ok, maybe 4 photos 😜 So much joy in one photo! Ok, maybe 4 photos 😜 Love my littlest niece, Eva ❤️
Let's hash something out together: what's somethin Let's hash something out together: what's something you do or used to fight about in your marriage/relationship regularly?

Do you feel like the issue is/was pretty cut and dry? 

Or was there an underlying issue that bubbled up in different ways?

Curious to know your thoughts. 

When Josh and I were first married, we fought a lot. We were pretty low-income, didn't have great jobs, and had a wee baby. While our fights were often about the grocery list, the real issue was that we were SCARED. 

Scared of the adult life we had just stepped into. It was kind of like jumping into a puddle you don't think is that deep until after it's too late and now your socks are completely drowning 🚣🏼‍♀️ 

Luckily, though, they dry off over time, don't they?

After lots of learning and working really hard (both at our jobs and relationship) things started to ease up. We started to see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel and even though we weren't there yet, it gave up hope to carry on together ❤️
Go on a walk with your spouse before Netflixing. O Go on a walk with your spouse before Netflixing. Or if you can't leave the house, sit in the kitchen with a glass of wine. Make time to talk. And make it easier by doing things together. It's so so important ❤️
Top knots over crop tops 😜 Top knots over crop tops 😜
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Marriage, Relationships, Sponsored · July 22, 2019

3 Ways I Create Quality Time With My Husband

This post is sponsored by Cupcake Vineyards. All opinions are my own.

These days, quality time isn’t all that easy to come by. Young kids and demanding schedules can make quality time even more scarce. In this blog post, I want to share three ways I regularly create quality time with my husband, Josh, in between the busy times.

Create a routine that gives you time

I get it. Everyone’s schedules are different and it can sometimes seem as though the longer you’re together, the more you both just understand “how it is.”

What I think a lot of us forget is that we have a lot more power to work quality time into our routines than we think!

One of the ways we do this is by aligning both our hobbies and several things in our daily routine. For instance, in the mornings, Josh and I like to do 20 minutes of yoga. The kids usually play around us or try to join in. We also like to have home workouts together in the afternoons and evenings. We also love cooking dinner together while the kids play. 

It might sound too good to be true, but finding quality time doing things together during the day is possible and it’s a great way to get extra time together!

Don’t wait until the perfect time to have a date

Dating your significant other can sometimes feel like either just watching movies at home or scheduling a babysitter and planning your outfit two weeks in advance. On the one hand, we can feel stuck and without options, so we resort to doing what we always do and is easy. On the other hand, we sometimes feel like dates need to be a long-anticipated event. 

I’d like to think that we can have a lot more fun, quality time with our significant other if we’re able to meet somewhere in the middle. Yes, it might take some effort, but creating a time when you and your significant other are able to have a conversation together or do something you enjoy can be all you need to “go on a date.”

This might even mean your date involves a running errands together or even bringing the kids along. Some of the best dates Josh and I have on a regular basis involve going on a walk with the kids. While they’re picking up sticks and flowers on the path ahead, he and I are actually having a conversation together. 

Sure, we might not be dressed up or alone, but we’re maintaining our friendship and enjoying each other just the same. Quality time isn’t always perfect. It can sometimes be spontaneous, temporarily interrupted, or even multitasked. But as long as both you and your significant other are putting in the effort, your relationship will continue to grow.

Here are a few ideas you can use for an impromptu date:

  • A trip to run errands that ends (or starts) with a tasty treat.
  • A trip to the park so you and the hubs can chat while the kids play. 
  • A drive-in theater where a little chatter from the kids is a-ok
  • A walk on a new trail 
  • A family picnic 
  • Even kids love a coffee shop date (that is, if they involve cake pops).

Just because a date is impromptu, doesn’t mean it’s not special. I like to have a few things on hand, just to make my time with Josh a little bit more fun and romantic. I always keep Cupcake Vineyards Rosé and Sauvignon Blanc in the fridge and ready to go when we get a chance at a little quality time together. They never fail to brighten up an evening together and really give it that something “extra”!

Whether we’re sipping on the Rosé or Sauvignon Blanc, each flavor is super refreshing. I love the hints of watermelon, strawberry and white nectarine in the Rosé. I also really enjoy  the flavors of white nectarine, and key lime with subtle hints of grapefruit, gooseberry and citrus, in the Sauvignon Blanc! Overall, Cupcake Vineyards wines always give us a sense that we’re celebrating something, even if it’s just celebrating a few moments together. Really – try some for yourself!

Sometimes, it’s ok to ask the kids to wait

A lot of moms are like this. I’m like this – I can tend to put the kids first. 

Being self-sacrificial isn’t a bad thing, but it can sometimes come at a cost to the other things that are really important in your life like your friendships, tasks on your to-do list, self-care. 

It was up until a few months ago that I found myself putting the kids first a lot when Josh and I were talking. Now, don’t get me wrong. The kids were completely safe, fed, clothed, and behaving within expectations 😂. Josh and I are actually pretty good at taking time to answer the kids’ questions, listening to their stories, and using teachable moments. But I realized that there are many times when, instead of answering them when they interrupt our conversation, I can simply ask them to wait.

This does two things:

1). It allows Josh and I to actually have conversations together during the day rather than just in the evening when the kids go to bed and we’re already zapped of most of our energy. And 2). It shows the kids that mommy and daddy are priorities to each other and that they’re not the only humans in the world that need attention. 

So, to work with the kids in this area, Josh and I have asked them to put their hand on us when they need something or simply say, “Excuse me…” and then wait. When Josh and I get to a good place to pause our conversation, we answer the kids or get them what they need. Overall, I’d say we have a pretty good system down.

Overall, I believe that we have a lot more power over the quality time we create with others than we think. We have the ability to make time for the special people in our lives and turn those movie nights into something truly special.

If you’ve never explored Cupcake Vineyards cans before, give it a try! I love the convenience of a grab-and-go wine to bring on our dates and they pair perfectly with warm summer nights and good times! Try Cupcake Vineyard’s cans for yourself!

In: Marriage, Relationships, Sponsored · Tagged: alcohol, can, Christian, cupcake, husband, improve, kids, marriage, marriage advice, noads, parents, quality time, rose, spend time, tips, white, wife, wine

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Comments

  1. Scarlet | Family Focus Blog says

    March 11, 2020 at 4:49 pm

    Yes! It is so important to set aside quality time with your spouse that is kid free so you can make sure you are staying connected to each other.

  2. Elly says

    June 26, 2020 at 11:36 am

    Thank you for your time and efforts to write on this topic. I agree, spending quality time with your loved ones is very important in every relationship. Every relationship requires communication, It is a way to keep a healthy relationship for a long time.

  3. Rob says

    July 29, 2020 at 10:45 pm

    Wow, inspiring and helpful

  4. Jhon Carter says

    March 8, 2021 at 7:03 am

    Thank Your, Great Post with amazing photo

  5. Kiipop says

    April 6, 2021 at 6:05 pm

    Thank you

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How to Self Care by Creating a Routine You Enjoy

Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growin Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growing up, I thought it was pretty much all I was cut out to do, which ended up being false. But even though I've learned that I'm capable of so many other things, being a mom is still one of my highest aspirations. As we're getting our home ready for fostering, I can't help but think of how the little one(s) entering our home will feel but also how David and Evy will feel. How will they react if we parent slightly differently? Will they understand that we're working to build trust and connection or will they feel indignant? These are the things I pray about and also speak to the kids about in the days leading up. We're all excited but I have the feeling of heaviness that we don't and won't understand the burden until we're all already carrying it together.
Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over here and I think it might be working 😉 Today the kids had TWOsday at school and they were so sweet. David wore a tie (I don't exactly get how it tirles in to Twosday but the kids were happy so..) and Evy "twinned" with a couple of sweet friends in her class. It's so sweet when you see your own kids building their own friendships. It just loosens a little piece of anxiety I've had about parenthood since David was still in my tummy. How did you spend your TWOsday??

Sandals @naotfootwear 💕
Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Jos Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Josh in a quiet house - the kids slept over my parent's last night. Got up, raced to clean the kitchen as fast as I could while my coffee was brewing. The coffee won this time. 

I recorded a Reel while getting ready. Went to the place where we were going to meet my fam a bit early so Josh and I could get in a walk. Then we got coffee, went to a huge antique store (sadly left with nothing but took pictures of my faves so I can remember to come back) and went to lunch with the kids and my parents. Love easy-going and fun days like these 🖤
Back in the day,I was talking with someone about m Back in the day,I was talking with someone about marriage.Josh and I had been married for a few years at that point but this guy was still single. ..

He told me he was studying to get his masters in counseling and he wanted to be a marriage counselor one day.I thought "Hey that's pretty cool" but, curious,because,you know, he was single. 

Anyway, after we'd been talking a few minutes about our interest in helping married couples, he leaned in and said, "You know, I have this theory on marriage.." "Oh yeah?" I said (pretty curious to hear what theories this guy had for all of marriage for everyone everywhere). 

He said, "I believe that every single problem in marriage boils down to communication."

At the time, I didn't really know what to say. I'm more of a *reflector* and then I come up with what I wish I had said later.

Here's what I wish I had said: "Um. Yeah I don't think so. I mean sure, communication helps with a lot of issues. But what about selfishness,⠀addiction,⠀past hurt and trauma, etc? Communication will help people work through those issues but they're connected to much deeper issues that concern the heart--not just your communication skills."

We are all broken, very human, beings and when left to our own devices,⠀we don't have all the tools necessary to "fix" ourselves or our spouse's problems. We can talk until we're blue in the face but we just can't fix ourselves. 

What we do need, is to lean on the Creator who made all things good and makes all things new. To understand that we are not the main characters here. The whole world and everything in it points to Christ and His redeeming power. And yes, he often works that out through us and often through communication. But it's not communication that saves marriages. It's Jesus.

I was just thinking about that today and wanted to get it off my chest. What role do you think communication plays?

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Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growin Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growing up, I thought it was pretty much all I was cut out to do, which ended up being false. But even though I've learned that I'm capable of so many other things, being a mom is still one of my highest aspirations. As we're getting our home ready for fostering, I can't help but think of how the little one(s) entering our home will feel but also how David and Evy will feel. How will they react if we parent slightly differently? Will they understand that we're working to build trust and connection or will they feel indignant? These are the things I pray about and also speak to the kids about in the days leading up. We're all excited but I have the feeling of heaviness that we don't and won't understand the burden until we're all already carrying it together.
Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over here and I think it might be working 😉 Today the kids had TWOsday at school and they were so sweet. David wore a tie (I don't exactly get how it tirles in to Twosday but the kids were happy so..) and Evy "twinned" with a couple of sweet friends in her class. It's so sweet when you see your own kids building their own friendships. It just loosens a little piece of anxiety I've had about parenthood since David was still in my tummy. How did you spend your TWOsday??

Sandals @naotfootwear 💕
Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Jos Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Josh in a quiet house - the kids slept over my parent's last night. Got up, raced to clean the kitchen as fast as I could while my coffee was brewing. The coffee won this time. 

I recorded a Reel while getting ready. Went to the place where we were going to meet my fam a bit early so Josh and I could get in a walk. Then we got coffee, went to a huge antique store (sadly left with nothing but took pictures of my faves so I can remember to come back) and went to lunch with the kids and my parents. Love easy-going and fun days like these 🖤
Back in the day,I was talking with someone about m Back in the day,I was talking with someone about marriage.Josh and I had been married for a few years at that point but this guy was still single. ..

He told me he was studying to get his masters in counseling and he wanted to be a marriage counselor one day.I thought "Hey that's pretty cool" but, curious,because,you know, he was single. 

Anyway, after we'd been talking a few minutes about our interest in helping married couples, he leaned in and said, "You know, I have this theory on marriage.." "Oh yeah?" I said (pretty curious to hear what theories this guy had for all of marriage for everyone everywhere). 

He said, "I believe that every single problem in marriage boils down to communication."

At the time, I didn't really know what to say. I'm more of a *reflector* and then I come up with what I wish I had said later.

Here's what I wish I had said: "Um. Yeah I don't think so. I mean sure, communication helps with a lot of issues. But what about selfishness,⠀addiction,⠀past hurt and trauma, etc? Communication will help people work through those issues but they're connected to much deeper issues that concern the heart--not just your communication skills."

We are all broken, very human, beings and when left to our own devices,⠀we don't have all the tools necessary to "fix" ourselves or our spouse's problems. We can talk until we're blue in the face but we just can't fix ourselves. 

What we do need, is to lean on the Creator who made all things good and makes all things new. To understand that we are not the main characters here. The whole world and everything in it points to Christ and His redeeming power. And yes, he often works that out through us and often through communication. But it's not communication that saves marriages. It's Jesus.

I was just thinking about that today and wanted to get it off my chest. What role do you think communication plays?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! 🎁 Merry Christmas from the Damons! 🎁
So much joy in one photo! Ok, maybe 4 photos 😜 So much joy in one photo! Ok, maybe 4 photos 😜 Love my littlest niece, Eva ❤️
Let's hash something out together: what's somethin Let's hash something out together: what's something you do or used to fight about in your marriage/relationship regularly?

Do you feel like the issue is/was pretty cut and dry? 

Or was there an underlying issue that bubbled up in different ways?

Curious to know your thoughts. 

When Josh and I were first married, we fought a lot. We were pretty low-income, didn't have great jobs, and had a wee baby. While our fights were often about the grocery list, the real issue was that we were SCARED. 

Scared of the adult life we had just stepped into. It was kind of like jumping into a puddle you don't think is that deep until after it's too late and now your socks are completely drowning 🚣🏼‍♀️ 

Luckily, though, they dry off over time, don't they?

After lots of learning and working really hard (both at our jobs and relationship) things started to ease up. We started to see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel and even though we weren't there yet, it gave up hope to carry on together ❤️
Go on a walk with your spouse before Netflixing. O Go on a walk with your spouse before Netflixing. Or if you can't leave the house, sit in the kitchen with a glass of wine. Make time to talk. And make it easier by doing things together. It's so so important ❤️
Top knots over crop tops 😜 Top knots over crop tops 😜
Josh and I have been doing a lot of reading on par Josh and I have been doing a lot of reading on parenting recently and I love so many of the lessons we've been learning on creating structure while also being empathetic to your child's needs. 

One of the concepts that's stuck with me is how we should "sandwich" our criticism or corrections with positive things. Kids can get discouraged pretty easily but we can help make sure they feel reassured and loved by complimenting them and noticing & verbalizing their growth as well. 

So for example, saying, "I'm very proud of you for putting away your toys. I want you to work on not bossing around your sister - I'll be the parent in charge. Ok? But the way you put your clothes in your drawers was great!"

Idk about you but I would love if other adults sandwiched their criticism too 😂

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