1, 2, or 3?? @balielf making me feel pretty today 1, 2, or 3?? @balielf making me feel pretty today in all these gorgeous colors! 😍
#ad This past weekend I decided to do something re #ad This past weekend I decided to do something really fun for the kids and create a scavenger hunt for them with Kinder Joy eggs at the end! They had so much fun going throughout the house and the yard finding their clues and a special surprise was waiting for them at the end! They had so much fun putting their Jurassic World Dominion surprise together (David is obsessed with dinosaurs 🦖) as well as exploring the app that comes as a download from the Kinder Joy egg! Fun little surprises like these go such a long way and making the kids feel special 💗 
#KinderJoy #JurassicWorldDominion @kinderus
Now that we still have some sunlight hanging aroun Now that we still have some sunlight hanging around after the kids go to bed, my new thing is sipping a glass of wine on the back patio while making small talk with Josh and praying the kids stay in bed.
 
I've been obsessed with cleaning our house recently but I've been so good about it, I have nothing left to clean or tidy right now and I'm left to face the things I don't really want to think about like the fact that I miss my kids when they're at school or how I really want to fill this house up with some more of them 😅 

At any rate, one of my simple pleasures in life is decluttering and purging unused things and I feel like I've accomplished a lot!! What about you?
I've been DIYing my hair for five (?) ish years no I've been DIYing my hair for five (?) ish years now and while I can't claim I've always done it perfectly, I've found a great routine that works for my hair and saves so much $$$ in the process!! Are you brave enough to DIY your hair??
Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growin Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growing up, I thought it was pretty much all I was cut out to do, which ended up being false. But even though I've learned that I'm capable of so many other things, being a mom is still one of my highest aspirations. As we're getting our home ready for fostering, I can't help but think of how the little one(s) entering our home will feel but also how David and Evy will feel. How will they react if we parent slightly differently? Will they understand that we're working to build trust and connection or will they feel indignant? These are the things I pray about and also speak to the kids about in the days leading up. We're all excited but I have the feeling of heaviness that we don't and won't understand the burden until we're all already carrying it together.
I think this hairdo is perfect 👌 for anything y I think this hairdo is perfect 👌 for anything you want to do without getting your hair in your face: eating hot wings, riding on a boat, working out, the list goes on. Plus, you can wear it up ⬆️ or down ⬇️
Wife, mom, runner, writer, artist, or just the cle Wife, mom, runner, writer, artist, or just the cleaning lady?? ​😜
Josh is an old soul 🥰 and tonight he and I are Josh is an old soul 🥰 and tonight he and I are going to get to see a band from the 70s that he loves!! Any guesses who it is??
^^ Here's a fun hairstyle for a (date) night out 🌃
I think a sleek pony is honestly so cute for date I think a sleek pony is honestly so cute for date night OR work! I'm always wearing my hair up anyway, right?? Might as well make it cute 🥰
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Dating, Marriage, Relationships · December 24, 2017

8 Ways to Stop a Fight Before it Starts

“Fighting is always fun,” said no one ever. Fights stink. Most of us wish we could avoid them altogether or, at the very lease, stop them before they start. Well, there are a few tips and tricks you can use in your relationship that just might help with that. Keep reading to learn how you can avoid your net big fight and turn it into an open talk with your spouse or significant other!

“Fighting is always fun,” said no one ever.

Fights suck. Most of us wish we could avoid them altogether or, at the very least, stop them before they start. Well, there are a few tips and tricks you can use in your relationship that just might help with that. Keep reading to learn how you can avoid your next big fight and turn it into an open talk with your spouse or significant other!

1 | Go for a run

Or walk depending on your general fitness level. Basically, when you’re mad, you’re going to have stored up energy and you’re going to need to do something with that stored up energy. Here, everyone comes to a crossroads where they must decide to use that harbored energy food good or for evil. What will you choose? When you feel like doing rather than thinking rationally (because who wants to do that when they’re mad??) going for a run can be a great and healthy way to take action without doing something negative your relationship. Running (and exercise in general) also produces endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. So chances are, you’ll return from your run with a somewhat lifted mood, feeling better about yourself as a person because, hey, you just went on a run(!), and you may have forgotten or at least cooled down about what made you so irritated in the first place. Win Win Win.

2 | Tell the other person where you think they’re right

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling strongly about something and having your spouse or significant other (seemingly) completely disagree with you and refuse to see your point of view. Well, that might not actually be the case, even if it really feels like it. Try to remember, the next time you and your love start to disagree, to tell them certain aspects of their thoughts you do agree with. And then go ahead and (kindly, always kindly) tell them what you don’t exactly agree with, and why. The why here is important. I mean, if we have any kind of opinion worth arguing over, we need to be able to back it up with some kind of why, but more than that- explaining why we believe what we believe will help the other person to see our point of view, where we got our beliefs, and at the very least, help them agree to disagree if not agree completely. Which brings me to my next point.

3 | Ask questions

I was going to name this point “listen” but I didn’t because I sometimes think that we, as a society as a whole, are just crappy listeners. We think we listen, but really we’re just thinking of our next argument or point or simply internally rolling our eyes while we wait for our spouse or significant other to be done talking. Stop that! (Pointing to myself as well here) How rude! If you knew that your spouse was internally rolling his or her eyes at you, you would probably walk out of the room right then and there. I know I’d want to.

We need to become ACTIVE listeners! That means that we need to WANT to understand our spouse and how they feel and why they think the way they do. We want that, everyone wants that- everyone wants to be understood by at least their spouse. Otherwise, life can start to feel pretty lonely. Start by asking questions. Get your spouse to expand on why they feel the way they feel or believe certain things. Even if you don’t say as much, make them understand that they are in a safe place when they talk with you. Which leads me to my next point.

4 | Always always show respect

Respect is a toughy. Because we often feel as though respect needs to be earned and- like trust, it’s easy to lose are very hard to earn. If you feel like you don’t respect your spouse, try to imagine how hard it would be for them to feel close to you, even if they wanted to. A marriage or relationship without respect is filled with fear, angst, competition, and bitterness. And if the bitterness festers long enough, it’ll sure as anything turn into hatred- you wait and see. Respect is crucial to fostering a healthy, open, and honest relationship. If we start to show disrespect to our spouse, and then later wish to be close and open with them, it will be very hard for them to trust us enough to be open again. Keep the lines of communication open and flowing by always showing respect to your spouse, whether you think they deserve it or not. Just like love, it’s needed for a relationship to thrive and should not be dependant on either spouse’s merit. Read this book (I HIGHLY recommend: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

5 | Go for a walk together outside

If you’re feeling like it’s time for a talk and it could get heated, sometimes a walk-talk outside can do wonders to steer a conversation in the best direction. I’m not sure why this is, maybe it’s the fresh air or the sound of birds chirping or remembering being more carefree when we were younger, but Josh and I always have the best conversations outside! So much so that we make a point to get outside and have a good conversation about once a week because we both can see how much of a difference it makes!

6 | Remind them you’re on their side

Sometimes when you’re fighting with a spouse or significant other, it can feel like they’re the enemy. Sooner rather than later, just remind them that you love them and you’re on their side even if you don’t agree. Agreeing to disagree is alright here and there, even in really close relationships as long as there’s mutual respect and the disagreement isn’t something that fundamentally goes against your belief system. If it does, you’re probably going to need to take several more walks outside or invite a counselor on your walks…

7 | Simply ask to not fight

So crazy it just miiiight work…..

Seriously though. I’ll be the first to tell you that sometimes- this actually works. Josh and I are- let’s call it “passionate-” and if we strongly disagree on something, we’ll probably have an argument about it. We’re at the point in our marriage where we’ve learned a lot about the art of “ “fighting” and we can “fight” fairly often without actually getting mad or even annoyed with the other person. But when we feel like the disagreement might be headed that direction, sometimes one of us will say, “I really don’t want this to turn into a fight” or, “Let’s try not to fight about this” and, of course, not fighting usually sounds pretty good to the other spouse, so we agree, “Ok, let’s chill for a sec before this gets more heated.” After that, sometimes we go on talking about the issue, both intentionally remembering to stay calm, open-minded, and more light-hearted, or… we decide to let the conversation go altogether. Chances are, it’s not worth getting in a fight over anyway and we can just move on to keep the peace. You’ll have to use this with caution in your own relationship. If you and your spouse have a tendency to sweep things under the rug and hope it goes away in a few days, then this phrase might do more harm than good. But if you’re like us where you literally get in a discussion about everything and could use a chill pill, then yes, this phrase may be for you.

8 | Move closer

You wanna know the science behind this one? Basically, if you’re closer to your spouse/significant other, you’re more likely to keep your voice down and not yell from across the room, which would probably make you sound angry even if you’re really not. So, try to move closer to your spouse. Worst case scenario, you’re closer to your spouse. Best case, maybe you get a hug out of it! Which brings me to my last (sub)point.

8.1 | Give a little touch

Now, you’re going to have to feel this one out. If you feel like your spouse is starting to get irritated for some reason, a touch might just send them over the edge. But it could very much remind them that you care and that, even though you may be disagreeing, you’re on the same team and care more about each other than about the issue.

What are your tips for stopping a fight in its tracks? Have you ever tried something, hoping it would help quell a fight, and had it blow up in your face? Leave your comments below and share which point was your fave!

“Fighting is always fun,” said no one ever. Fights stink. Most of us wish we could avoid them altogether or, at the very lease, stop them before they start. Well, there are a few tips and tricks you can use in your relationship that just might help with that. Keep reading to learn how you can avoid your net big fight and turn it into an open talk with your spouse or significant other!

In: Dating, Marriage, Relationships · Tagged: angry, annoyed, ask, boyfriend, communicate, compare, disrespect, fight, fights, frustrated, fun marriage, girlfriend, husbad, marriage, marriage advice, partner, questions, Relationships, Respect, right, run, significant other, so, spouse, stop, talk, together, touch, wife, wrong

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Comments

  1. Gloria Jordan says

    January 7, 2018 at 11:05 am

    All of these suggestions sound great if one is married to a non-bipolar person or one who always believes he is right! trying to reason with such a person is futile! he blows up, screaming and yelling, doesn’t care to listen to my side, then after he has sent up my blood sugar (i am diabetic) and my blood pressure up, he gives the situation some thought and very, very seldom will apologize for getting upset with me. by then, my hatred towards him does not go away for weeks, sometimes months because one yelling and screaming match after another just builds on the previous one with more hatred built up on my part. i wish i had never married him! many times, i pray god will allow me to die to remove me from this awful marriage! i have chest pains during these one sided arguments but don’t say anything because i am hoping to have a heart attack and not be rushed to the hospital to save me for yet another argument!

    • KizzY says

      December 21, 2018 at 10:49 am

      Ive just read your comment gloria. So sorry to hear about your challenging marriage. I lived with a mother who had serious mental health issues. it would be beneficial to Contact a local counselling service, if you haven’t already.
      When i have challenges in my marriage i try to rememeber that all experiences are for my Learning and development, to make me the pErson that God wants me to become. Stay strong!

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Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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Now that we still have some sunlight hanging aroun Now that we still have some sunlight hanging around after the kids go to bed, my new thing is sipping a glass of wine on the back patio while making small talk with Josh and praying the kids stay in bed.
 
I've been obsessed with cleaning our house recently but I've been so good about it, I have nothing left to clean or tidy right now and I'm left to face the things I don't really want to think about like the fact that I miss my kids when they're at school or how I really want to fill this house up with some more of them 😅 

At any rate, one of my simple pleasures in life is decluttering and purging unused things and I feel like I've accomplished a lot!! What about you?
Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growin Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growing up, I thought it was pretty much all I was cut out to do, which ended up being false. But even though I've learned that I'm capable of so many other things, being a mom is still one of my highest aspirations. As we're getting our home ready for fostering, I can't help but think of how the little one(s) entering our home will feel but also how David and Evy will feel. How will they react if we parent slightly differently? Will they understand that we're working to build trust and connection or will they feel indignant? These are the things I pray about and also speak to the kids about in the days leading up. We're all excited but I have the feeling of heaviness that we don't and won't understand the burden until we're all already carrying it together.
Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over Doing my gosh darned best to manifest spring over here and I think it might be working 😉 Today the kids had TWOsday at school and they were so sweet. David wore a tie (I don't exactly get how it tirles in to Twosday but the kids were happy so..) and Evy "twinned" with a couple of sweet friends in her class. It's so sweet when you see your own kids building their own friendships. It just loosens a little piece of anxiety I've had about parenthood since David was still in my tummy. How did you spend your TWOsday??

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Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Jos Today was a sweet day. Woke up at 8:30 next to Josh in a quiet house - the kids slept over my parent's last night. Got up, raced to clean the kitchen as fast as I could while my coffee was brewing. The coffee won this time. 

I recorded a Reel while getting ready. Went to the place where we were going to meet my fam a bit early so Josh and I could get in a walk. Then we got coffee, went to a huge antique store (sadly left with nothing but took pictures of my faves so I can remember to come back) and went to lunch with the kids and my parents. Love easy-going and fun days like these 🖤

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1, 2, or 3?? @balielf making me feel pretty today 1, 2, or 3?? @balielf making me feel pretty today in all these gorgeous colors! 😍
#ad This past weekend I decided to do something re #ad This past weekend I decided to do something really fun for the kids and create a scavenger hunt for them with Kinder Joy eggs at the end! They had so much fun going throughout the house and the yard finding their clues and a special surprise was waiting for them at the end! They had so much fun putting their Jurassic World Dominion surprise together (David is obsessed with dinosaurs 🦖) as well as exploring the app that comes as a download from the Kinder Joy egg! Fun little surprises like these go such a long way and making the kids feel special 💗 
#KinderJoy #JurassicWorldDominion @kinderus
Now that we still have some sunlight hanging aroun Now that we still have some sunlight hanging around after the kids go to bed, my new thing is sipping a glass of wine on the back patio while making small talk with Josh and praying the kids stay in bed.
 
I've been obsessed with cleaning our house recently but I've been so good about it, I have nothing left to clean or tidy right now and I'm left to face the things I don't really want to think about like the fact that I miss my kids when they're at school or how I really want to fill this house up with some more of them 😅 

At any rate, one of my simple pleasures in life is decluttering and purging unused things and I feel like I've accomplished a lot!! What about you?
I've been DIYing my hair for five (?) ish years no I've been DIYing my hair for five (?) ish years now and while I can't claim I've always done it perfectly, I've found a great routine that works for my hair and saves so much $$$ in the process!! Are you brave enough to DIY your hair??
Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growin Being a mom has always meant so much to me. Growing up, I thought it was pretty much all I was cut out to do, which ended up being false. But even though I've learned that I'm capable of so many other things, being a mom is still one of my highest aspirations. As we're getting our home ready for fostering, I can't help but think of how the little one(s) entering our home will feel but also how David and Evy will feel. How will they react if we parent slightly differently? Will they understand that we're working to build trust and connection or will they feel indignant? These are the things I pray about and also speak to the kids about in the days leading up. We're all excited but I have the feeling of heaviness that we don't and won't understand the burden until we're all already carrying it together.
I think this hairdo is perfect 👌 for anything y I think this hairdo is perfect 👌 for anything you want to do without getting your hair in your face: eating hot wings, riding on a boat, working out, the list goes on. Plus, you can wear it up ⬆️ or down ⬇️
Wife, mom, runner, writer, artist, or just the cle Wife, mom, runner, writer, artist, or just the cleaning lady?? ​😜
Josh is an old soul 🥰 and tonight he and I are Josh is an old soul 🥰 and tonight he and I are going to get to see a band from the 70s that he loves!! Any guesses who it is??
^^ Here's a fun hairstyle for a (date) night out 🌃
I think a sleek pony is honestly so cute for date I think a sleek pony is honestly so cute for date night OR work! I'm always wearing my hair up anyway, right?? Might as well make it cute 🥰
I video called Josh last night with this hair in a I video called Josh last night with this hair in and he asked, "Are you wearing pigtails??" And I was like, "No! .. well. Kind of."

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