Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️
The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊 The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊
We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan to We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan today and here's how it went. Have you ever brought kids to one of these appointments??
Bet you thought we were done!! 😂 We've kept it Bet you thought we were done!! 😂 We've kept it our little secret for a while but I'm so excited to let the cat out of the bag that baby #3 will be here March 2023 💙💗💗
When we know a new foster placement is coming, we When we know a new foster placement is coming, we might have a couple days or just a couple hours to prepare 😳 In any case, these are a few of the things we try to get done beforehand that help us to be more "in the moment" when he or she arrives. Would you add anything to this list?
The thing about not so simple times is that they r The thing about not so simple times is that they really make you appreciate the simple ones 🖤 

So grateful for this little fam of ours and let me just say, now that we live in the south, fall has definitely become my favorite season 🍂 The weather is 👌👌👌 meaning I can sit outside for more than 5 minutes and not break a sweat. There's so many fun festivals, and the kids go crazy pointing out all the spooky Halloween decorations and fall colors 🎃 I wish I could slow down the stage of life we're in but making memories like these will do the trick.
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Baby, Family, Kids, Toddler · December 5, 2017

How having your second child is different from having your first

YAY YOU’RE HAVING A BABY! The second one, that is. Or maybe you’ve already had him or her. Either way, you have to know that having a baby the second time around is not like the first. There are a few things you’ll know to expect, like the classic sleepless nights or diaper blowouts, but there’s a few things that may blindside you. Keep reading, you may just learn a thing or two.

YAY YOU’RE HAVING A BABY! The second one, that is. Or maybe you’ve already had him or her. Either way, you have to know that having a baby the second time around is not like the first. There are a few things you’ll know to expect, like the classic sleepless nights or diaper blowouts, but there are a few things that may blindside you. Keep reading, you may just learn a thing or two. That, or have your worst fears confirmed.

You’re mentally prepared for the sleepless nights. Bring it.

Congratulations, you’re already a pro at being sleep deprived and finding ways to functions the next day that this should be a piece of cake. Really though, for whatever reason, this wasn’t nearly as hard as when our first child was born and he started sleeping through the night at 6 months. Evy is currently 8 months and still wakes up at least twice and it’s no big deal. Sure, I wake up and my first thought is, “Coffffeeeeeeee” but that’s really no different than when I was in college or working so..

Your expectations are buried six feet under.

Not only are your expectations are low, they’re dead. You haven’t given up, of course not. Someone’s gotta keep those kids alive. You’re just a bit more flexxxible these days with how many items of processed foods your child consumes throughout the course of a day. You’ve gone from a, “Heck no” to more of a, “Ok, but this is the for real last one.”

Basically, all having low expectations means as a parent is that you get way less frustrated when you don’t get your way. Because that doesn’t happen anymore anyway.

You already have all the stuff. Maybe.

My piece of advice here: Let people know if there’s something you actually need. People figured that we had everything we needed for a new baby which was mostly true, but there were definitely a few things we could have used but no one asks for a registry the second time around. I wanted as long as I could after I knew all the showers had been thrown and then bought ourselves a mamaroo because we actually didn’t have a baby swing. We had borrowed one from a friend the first time around and had since given it back. So be sure to double check that you actually do have anything you need instead of realizing you overlooked something when you’re 38 weeks pregnant.

Also, if friends ask what you want and you’re not sure what to tell them, ask for diapers and gift cards. Always gift cards.

You know what you would/wouldn’t do the second time around.

Packing for the hospital stay alone was so much different for our second baby. I knew how my clothes would fit me, so I better knew what to pack. I invested in a better nursing bra (this comfortable nursing bra was great for the hospital and around the house while this underwire nursing bra was great for going out and feeling more like myself). I also invested in a pumping bra. I think I was crazy for never doing this for David because I actually worked full time after he was born and pumped like crazy. I learned my lesson and got a pumping bra the second time around and even though I didn’t pump nearly as much, I still freaking loved that thing.

You may find yourself way less nervous to go into a grocery store with the kids. Or if you are, you’ll just order what you need from Amazon or a grocery delivery service without even attempting to go into the store. Where we lived back in VA, our Kroger had what they called “ClickList’ where I could make my entire shopping list online and then pick a time the next day to pick it up, or even the same day if I put my order in early enough. When it was time to pick it up, I would park in the designated parking area and the store staff would bring me my groceries and load them into my trunk for me. And this only cost a flat rate of $5 no matter how much my order was. Heck, I’ll pay $10 to not have to get out of the car with a toddler and newborn and grocery shop.

You’ll get smart about leaving the house, because it won’t be easy.

I thought leaving the house with one kid was no joke, but two? Forget about it.

Not really. You still have to leave sometime.

In the beginning, we were cosleeping with Ev (our second). I remember getting up at 8 to start getting ready for the day. By the time I got myself and two kids ready, it was 10. And it’s not because I’m high maintenance.

Here’s how the morning would look:

  • I get up. Both kids still sleeping.
  • Brush my hair, teeth, face. UhhImean, wash.. Wash my face.
  • Put a k-cup in the Keurig.
  • Put yogurt cup and spoon on the table for 1st born.
  • Wake up 1st born.
  • Change and dress him while he’s still half asleep in bed, then tell him to eat his yogurt.
  • He follows me back into my room where 2nd born is waking up.
  • Feed her (because every interaction with her at this age begins with feeding).
  • Change her diaper, get her dressed, tell 1st born to eat his yogurt because we have to go.
  • Toddler melts down. He “didn’t even waaaaant yoguuuuurt.”
  • Make toast.
  • Put shoes on 1st born.
  • 2nd born pooped, change her again.
  • Put shoes back on 1st born because he forgot we were leaving when you stopped to change 2nd born.
  • Put on an episode of Paw Patrol while I slap on a little makeup for the day.
  • Finish doing makeup once “good enough” is reached.
  • Tell 1st born you’re leaving in 3 minutes while you top off 2nd born.
  • Put 1st born’s shoes on again. Why did you even bother the first two times?
  • Pack processed snack in diaper bag because 1st born never ate breakfast.
  • Put kids in car. Start car.
  • Run in to microwave cold coffee and run back out in a fury fearing someone’s seen you leave the kids buckled in their car seats at 10 in the morning and already called the cops.
  • ARE YOU KIDDING ME IT’S 10 AM??!!
  • Drive lunch over to husband who asks, “What are you up to today?”
  • Die.

Your oldest will surprise you

There’s not “typical” way your first born is going to react and adjust to having a sibling for the first time. They may smother them by wanting to share all their toys at the same time or they may try to hoard all the toys for themself because sharing isn’t exactly second nature. David, our oldest, LOVED his baby sister. We had to make sure he didn’t strangle her by hugging her too hard. But even so, he had some behavior regression. More meltdowns and attitudes. Even though our standards and expectations for him didn’t change, we tried to give him as much love as we possibly could because sharing mom and dad for the first time can’t be easy.

You’ll feel like “yourself” again way sooner.

Ok, I can’t speak for everyone, but after we had our second, life went back to our new normal way faster than after we had our first. And that’s what we wanted. We justed wanted to bring our baby back home and get going with life again. After families in our church had finished bringing us meals (our church had an awesome 2-week meal plan for families with new babies, illnesses, and various hardships. It was awesome), getting back into cooking was no biggie. And it may sound weird, but I couldn’t wait to get my butt in the gym again. As soon as Ev was 6 weeks old and able to be watched by our gym’s childcare (where she would sleep the whole time at that age) I went back and got myself and hour of me-time a few days a week again.

 

I also started wearing clothes I liked again waaaay sooner. For whatever reason, after having David, I think someone deceived me into thinking that clothes were only comfortable if they were too big and frumpy. I probably just had no idea with what to do with my betweener body (you know, between baby and whatever shape you are 3 to 6 to 18 months later). The second time around, I had an epiphany that I felt much more like myself when I wore clothes that made me feel good about myself. You know, clothes that fit and looked good.

Shop the post below!

Shop the post!

Piper & Scoot Hailey DressPiper & Scoot Hailey Dress
HM CardiganHM Cardigan
Vera Monte TightsVera Monte Tights
HM Laced BootsHM Laced Boots

YAY YOU’RE HAVING A BABY! The second one, that is. Or maybe you’ve already had him or her. Either way, you have to know that having a baby the second time around is not like the first. There are a few things you’ll know to expect, like the classic sleepless nights or diaper blowouts, but there’s a few things that may blindside you. Keep reading, you may just learn a thing or two.

 

 

In: Baby, Family, Kids, Toddler · Tagged: baby, change, child, dad, deliver, delivery, deprived, different, expectations, family, hospital, husbabd, infant, kid, kids, mentally prepare, mom, new, newborn, older, pregnancy, pregnant, ready, second, sibling, sleep, toddler, two, wife, younger

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Comments

  1. Anne | onedeterminedlife says

    December 7, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    These are all so true! I was so mich better prepared for my second child then I was my first. It also helped that I did not suffer from Ppd after birth number 2.

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Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️

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Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️
The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊 The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊
We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan to We took the kids to baby's 20 week anatomy scan today and here's how it went. Have you ever brought kids to one of these appointments??
Bet you thought we were done!! 😂 We've kept it Bet you thought we were done!! 😂 We've kept it our little secret for a while but I'm so excited to let the cat out of the bag that baby #3 will be here March 2023 💙💗💗
When we know a new foster placement is coming, we When we know a new foster placement is coming, we might have a couple days or just a couple hours to prepare 😳 In any case, these are a few of the things we try to get done beforehand that help us to be more "in the moment" when he or she arrives. Would you add anything to this list?
The thing about not so simple times is that they r The thing about not so simple times is that they really make you appreciate the simple ones 🖤 

So grateful for this little fam of ours and let me just say, now that we live in the south, fall has definitely become my favorite season 🍂 The weather is 👌👌👌 meaning I can sit outside for more than 5 minutes and not break a sweat. There's so many fun festivals, and the kids go crazy pointing out all the spooky Halloween decorations and fall colors 🎃 I wish I could slow down the stage of life we're in but making memories like these will do the trick.
If I was a... according to Josh 😋 What would yo If I was a... according to Josh 😋 What would your spouse say?? #ifiwasachallenge

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