10 Lessons I learned in My First Month of Marriage

A few of "Huh..." moments I had within my first month of marriage.So, as some of you may know, newly married life is pretty awesome. Yeah, there’s hard times too. Maybe moving away from family (or joining an already established family) or starting a new job or just new responsibilities in general. Partner that with learning all this new stuff about the love of your life that isn’t as glamorous as you once thought. Despite this, marriage is still pretty cool. Here are a few of “Huh…” moments I had within my first month of marriage.

1 Sleeping in the same bed is the best thing ever

Seriously, the best. I still look forward to getting in bed and putting my freezing cold feel on his freakishly warm body.

2 The way my husband spits out his toothpaste is disgusting

We all have our quirks, and we all have our own way of spitting out toothpaste. Josh’s is the same every single time. I don’t have to plug my ears anymore, but I still have to go to my happy place.

3 Dishes don’t do themselves

Neither do a lot of other things. Like fixing your car, getting rid of that bug infestation they failed to mention when you moved into your first apartment. We were on the younger side when we got married (both 21) and hadn’t experienced a lot of life yet. But the best way to learn is to throw yourself in and learn from experience (whether by choice or just doing what you gotta do)!

4 Loads of laundry is more literal than you realize

I hate laundry. And while you and your hubs will probably try to share housework, there’ll probably be some things that are unspokenly your job. Laundry is mine… but I still don’t do it.

5 Having one car is totally doable (depending on your work situations) and will actually let you spend more time together

The more we had to work, the more valuable our short car rides were together. I found myself reaching for Josh’s hand more and wanting to apologize for the dumb thing I said earlier before we had to say our goodbyes for the day. I learned to cherish the short moments before we parted ways.

6 My husband is more stressed than he let’s on

They’re not lying when they say “Hindsight is 20/20.” I used to have no idea why Josh would freak out when I would spend more money than anticipated at the grocery store, when, to me, I was just buying the basics. I know now that he was stressed about being a new provider. If your husband seems hung up on the little things, ask yourself if he could be stressed, and then try to be reassuring. They need to know they’re doing a good job at being a husband.

7 “Intimacy” makes men sleepy. “Ok, well… goodnight then…”

“Pillow talk” becomes more of a pat on the head and then the sound of snoring a few minutes later. It’s ok. I know he loves me. My point is, sex is great; but chances are, it’s not going to be like the movies.

Little problems don’t go away, they get worse…

I’m going to be pretty transparent here (with Josh’s permission) and say that before we got married, Josh and I both knew that he had a bit of an anger problem (but was never violent). And I guess I thought things would just kind of get better when we got married? And they did! But not before they got worse… It took a lot of prayer on my part and a lot of self awareness and prayer on Josh’s part to overcome. And we’re both so thankful that we can finally use the word “overcome” when we talk about it today.

9 Everybody poops

I think this came as more of a shock to my husband. But every marriage will have their own standards of when the bathroom door needs to be shut and when it’s ok to leave it open.

10 Don’t read into your husband’s actions too much, he really does love you

When we were first married, everything my husband did meant something about his expectations and respect for me. Or so I thought. Sooo many fights that left my poor husband thinking l, “Whaaaat just happened???” Men are usually pretty simple. Yeah, you’ll come by some bad habits that have a root problem that needs to be dealt with. But thinking the best of your spouse and assuming that he loves you and respects you will save you a lot of unnecessary conflict.

So, what did you learn in those early days?? Got any good newlywed stories to tell? Share them in the comments below! And don’t forget, if you loved this post, share with friends!

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10 thoughts on “10 Lessons I learned in My First Month of Marriage

  1. Christine

    It is very interesting what you learn when you get married. Some days can be frustrating, disgusting and crazy. But it is the best thing and I wouldn’t change my married life for anything.

    Reply
  2. Jenna

    This is great. My husband and I had one car for our first 5 years of marriage and it worked out great, it’s nice to get to spend some extra time together.

    Reply
  3. Keating

    Haha #7 made me laugh. My husband falls asleep super quickly at night whereas my anxiety keeps me up long after he’s fallen asleep. So if I want something more than a kiss goodnight, I have to act on it fast before he falls asleep! haha and I very much wish dishes just did themselves. Laundry too. My life would be so much easier! Great post 🙂

    Reply
  4. Carmen

    This post is so cute! I laughed a few times! Everything is so true, probably didn’t laugh at all those things when it first all happened but now I can look back and laugh with my hubby. which is a blessing!

    Reply
  5. PETRECE RILEY

    Omg! Thank you for sharing. I am in my fourth year of marriage with two kids ages 2 and 3 and so it hasn’t been easy. However, after reading this i am encouraged and hope to see more of these types of discussions.

    Reply

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