Happy birthday to our 9 year old goob! We are so p Happy birthday to our 9 year old goob! We are so proud of this boy. We are constantly told by others how kind and sweet his is. I mean, we know it too, but it means even more when his character shines through even when mom and dad aren't watching. We love you so much "Puppy!"
More photos from this weekend 🍂🍏⚽ More photos from this weekend 🍂🍏⚽
The start of a new school year has always felt lik The start of a new school year has always felt like more of a “New Years” to me than January 1st ever did. The air starts getting more crisp (thank goodness), the leaves start to change, and the house is quieter (now that the kids are in school, and just during the day, ha). 

Every year around this time I can clearly look back and see how our family has changed. Last year, we had just said goodbye to the boys (our first foster placement) and our family was making sense of the whirlwind that had just happened over the summer. This year, David is way more into soccer, Evy is telling me about the conversations the girls at school are having (she’s a huge people-watcher), and of course Cleo is getting so big! Her first two teeth made their appearance this week and we’re also pretty sure she said “Dada” the other night. 

It really goes by so fast. But little memories like the ones in these photos will last. I remember going apple picking with sweet family friends as a kid and I love doing that for our kids now. 

What traditions have you tried to pass down to your kids?
Evy has always been very much a Mommy's girl. Sinc Evy has always been very much a Mommy's girl. Since she's been a baby, I've been learning that she needs love in a very different way than David does. After school and before bed, she especially needs all the love, attention, and cuddles. 

Today I had a pretty hard day with several hours of intensive Zoom calls. They ended right as the kids got home from school and when I was done, I just felt this deep exhaustion and wanted nothing more than to cuddle with my kids and never look at a computer again 🤪. 

I realized that's probably how Evy (and David, but mostly Evy) typically feels after a long day. I can tell that it's especially draining for her. So I was reminded to be extra gentle with her emotions, especially on school days when there's just so much going on and it can feel pretty intense, especially at that age. And especially to us introverts 🫠 Anyone else have highly emotional kiddos?
My phone rang this morning just as we were pulling My phone rang this morning just as we were pulling away from dropping the kids at school. A little baby needed a home until his adoptive family could come get him. 

At the time, we didn’t know his name, his gender, or anything about him. We were told he was healthy and we’d get more details later.

And we said yes! We thought it would be longer but his adoptive family is BOOKING it to get here and take him home forever. He will be so loved!!

I love that we get to share moments like these with our kids. I know they’ll remember them for a looong time to come.
Sometimes I just need to remind myself that not ev Sometimes I just need to remind myself that not every moment needs to be filled with productivity. And sometimes I don't need to multitask. Easier said than done for me anyway. But I'm trying to intentionally practice slowing down. How do you try to slow down?

Shoes @naot.northamerica
Dress @shopbohme
Butterfly hair! It's easier than it looks 🦋 Do Butterfly hair! It's easier than it looks 🦋

Doing fun hairstyles with Ev has been a new way for us to bond, especially since Cleo's joined us. Would you try this one??
I'm working to adjust my mindset from thinking I n I'm working to adjust my mindset from thinking I need to rush while the baby's asleep to get things done to rather bringing them along with me when I can. 

Cleo loves being worn and, for the time being, is super content just watching me unload the dishwasher, make dinner, or tag along to grab Evy and David from the bus. 

And I'm way more at peace when I don't feel like I need to rush or time is running out. We have time and most things we have to do in a day aren't urgent.
Baby's first taste of solids: banana edition 🍌 Baby's first taste of solids: banana edition 🍌 What was the first food you gave to your baby?
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Guest Post, Marriage, Relationships · March 28, 2016

3 Ways to Stay Connected to Your Spouse

Even on the worst of days, you can find at least one good thing to focus on and that one little thing can make all the difference.

This post was written by my blogger friend, Amberly, from A Prioritized Marriage (bio below!)

Earlier this year, I read an article that talked about the things that we need to stop telling married couples. The premise of the article is that currently married couples are too often downplaying how great that union can really be. Rather than sharing all of the joy that marriage brings to our lives, we give them the idea that after a certain amount of time, the love in your relationship dies. We tell couples that things will be different after the first year, after they have kids, etc. While every stage of life brings with it unique challenges that require you to make adjustments as a team, you can keep that just married excitement and love alive throughout your life together. You have the power to determine how life and the obstacles that it throws your way will affect your marriage. You can choose find joy or you can choose to let things drag you down and turn your relationship into exactly what some couples say that it will be, loveless.

Personally, I choose to find joy in my relationship every day and continue to build the love in my marriage. Even on the worst of days, you can find at least one good thing to focus on and that one little thing can make all the difference.

Start a Journal for Your Relationship

This can be a gratitude journal, a good moments journal, a memories journal, whatever you want it to be. The important thing is that you are looking for at least one positive thing to write in it every day. If your spouse will participate and write down one thing as well, that’s even better! Take note of something your spouse did that you’re grateful for or really appreciated, a moment when you knew they loved you, a trait of theirs that you admire or something memorable that happened that you don’t want to forget. You’ll find that the more you are looking for positive things to write in your journal, the more joy you’ll have in your life and the more joy you will get from your marriage. When we shift our focus, our attitude and the things around us change as well.

Talk Often

When you talk to your spouse, make sure that you are not only talking about how your day has gone and all of the things that go into running your household. Just like when you were dating, you should still be talking about your hopes and dreams both as individuals and as a couple, your current interests and disinterests, and the things that you like to do for fun together. You may think you know everything about each other, but things change over time and there is always something new that you can learn about your spouse. The day to day workings of your household are important, but they won’t keep the spark alive  in your marriage the way that the fun conversations will. If you struggle to find a way to get those relationship building conversations going, there are a lot of great books and games that can help you get started. I shared one of my favorites in a post on my blog a few months ago.

Create a Ritual

Rituals are a great tool for strengthening family and couple relationships. Knowing that you have that one special thing planned for the two of you will give you something to look forward to. When life gets tough, you can find a glimmer of sunshine together through your traditions. Whether it’s a walk around the neighborhood, a bowl of ice cream or a special treat before bed, watching an episode of your favorite show together weekly (or daily if it’s on Netflix), afternoon naps on the weekend or anything else. Find something that the two of you enjoy doing together, decide why that thing is meaningful to you as a couple, and start to make it a habit. If you want to add rituals later on down the road, or if your ritual needs to change depending on your stage in life, that is ok too. Just make sure to always have a little something out of the ordinary that you are doing together.

Having a happy, joy filled marriage no matter your stage in life or how long you’ve been together is possible, but you have to put forth effort in order for that to happen. If you are willing to make your spouse a priority on a daily basis, you won’t end up in the type of marriage that some people think is normal. You can be as happy as you were the day that you were married for your entire lives!

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Amberly
Amberly is a Family Studies major who believed that quality time, traditions, and communication help to build healthy relationships. She blogs about marriage because she wants to inspire other couples to put their marriage first strive to build a better relationship with each other and create the best marriage they can!
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Latest posts by Amberly (see all)
  • 3 Ways to Stay Connected to Your Spouse - March 28, 2016

In: Guest Post, Marriage, Relationships · Tagged: communication, connect, forgive, husband, journal, joy, love, marriage, Relationships, ritual, walk, wife

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Comments

  1. Rachel @ Countdowns and Cupcakes says

    April 8, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    I love the ritual idea! We focus on turning off the TV and putting down the phones at dinner. It helps us actually focus on each other!

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:22 pm

      That’s a great ritual to have!! Technology can be such a distraction when you’re trying to spend quality time together.

  2. Dana says

    April 8, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    Communication is key! At the end of the day you are partners and need to be on the same page!

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:20 pm

      Yes! And to be aware of what the other person is thinking.

  3. Ashley L says

    April 8, 2016 at 3:31 pm

    I love the journal tip because I recently started doing that for my husband. I have a “Why I Love You” journal and I continually record things he does that remind me of why I love him. It could be something as simple as taking out the bathroom trash after my, ummm, “time of the month” or something as big as buying me an unexpected gift. He struggles w/ depression and anxiety so that journal is a great resource he can turn to when he’s feeling depressed and needs reminders of how great he is and why he is so important to me.

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:21 pm

      I love that! And it has a very practical application for him personally it sounds like! Thanks for sharing Ashley!

  4. Brittany Putman says

    April 8, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    I feel like communication in marriage is everything! And it’s not just that you talk but how you talk to each other. Awesome post, Amberly!

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:19 pm

      How you talk to each other is very important! Thanks Brittany 🙂

  5. Jen says

    April 8, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    Communication is absolutely key!

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:18 pm

      Definitely! Without communication, nothing else will work.

  6. Cori says

    April 8, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    When you have company, try to take a few moments each day to have to yourself and talk openly about whatever. Sometimes you can’t say what you want/need to when company is around.

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:18 pm

      That’s a great idea!! 🙂 I love it. Thanks for sharing Cori!

  7. Chelsea says

    April 8, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    I love the idea of journaling about your relationship. I journal about my own life and have never thought about journaling about my own relationship! What a great tactic.

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:16 pm

      I bet you put a bit about your relationship in your personal journal! It’s just fun to have a journal that the two of you are working to fill with great things about your relationship.

  8. Amanda | Maple Alps says

    April 8, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    Great tips. My husband and I hardly see each other all day, so at night, it’s not uncommon for us to be up talking till hours we should probably be sleeping in. Oops! But it’s so worth it.

  9. Lindsay says

    April 8, 2016 at 7:09 pm

    I couldn’t agree more. It’s so important to cultivate and nurture that special relationship with your spouse. I feel like often times, people forget that they’re in it TOGETHER.
    I enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • Amberly says

      April 8, 2016 at 7:15 pm

      Thank you Lindsay! I love that you pointed out people are in it together! 🙂 Everything is easier and better when you’re doing it as a team!

  10. Kalyn says

    April 8, 2016 at 7:34 pm

    I definitely agree that keeping communication open and honest is key to having a relationship healthy. I enjoy talking with my husband about every day ordinary things and the big things. He is my favorite person to talk to!

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      It’s definitely a good sign when your husband is your favorite person to talk to!

  11. Jenny says

    April 8, 2016 at 9:02 pm

    Such an awesome post! As someone who is about to be married in a few months – this post will truly come in handy.

    xoxo, Jenny

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:11 pm

      Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Married life is my favorite 🙂

  12. Susannah says

    April 8, 2016 at 10:29 pm

    These are such fabulous tips! It gets so discouraging to me when I hear time and time again people downplay the wonderful aspects of marriage. Sure marriage is hard but, if done right, it’s the best kind of hard! <3

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:12 pm

      Yes! Exactly!!! I feel like too often in society, we focus on the “limiting” things about marriage. But marriage doesn’t have to be limiting at all!!!

  13. Ashleigh says

    April 9, 2016 at 7:28 am

    This is great… wonderful tips! Communication and talking often is such a key to success in a marriage! That feeling of being connected is so important. Thank you for sharing!

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      Communication is definitely a key to success! Thanks Ashleigh!

  14. ruthie says

    April 10, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    “Knowing that you have that one special thing planned for the two of you will give you something to look forward to.” This is so true!! Ben and I need to get better at being intentional! Loved this post!

    • Amberly says

      April 14, 2016 at 8:19 pm

      It takes effort to be intentional and I’m not as perfect at it as I’d like right now either! Thanks for commenting Ruthie!

  15. Andriana | A Love Worth Living For says

    December 13, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    Love these ideas! I agree dreaming and talking about the future together is a great way to build connection. Love the ritual idea!

    • Amberly says

      December 14, 2016 at 6:05 pm

      It is such a great thing to do to dream for the future! It gives you something to look forward to and something to work toward as well.

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Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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Happy birthday to our 9 year old goob! We are so p Happy birthday to our 9 year old goob! We are so proud of this boy. We are constantly told by others how kind and sweet his is. I mean, we know it too, but it means even more when his character shines through even when mom and dad aren't watching. We love you so much "Puppy!"
More photos from this weekend 🍂🍏⚽ More photos from this weekend 🍂🍏⚽
The start of a new school year has always felt lik The start of a new school year has always felt like more of a “New Years” to me than January 1st ever did. The air starts getting more crisp (thank goodness), the leaves start to change, and the house is quieter (now that the kids are in school, and just during the day, ha). 

Every year around this time I can clearly look back and see how our family has changed. Last year, we had just said goodbye to the boys (our first foster placement) and our family was making sense of the whirlwind that had just happened over the summer. This year, David is way more into soccer, Evy is telling me about the conversations the girls at school are having (she’s a huge people-watcher), and of course Cleo is getting so big! Her first two teeth made their appearance this week and we’re also pretty sure she said “Dada” the other night. 

It really goes by so fast. But little memories like the ones in these photos will last. I remember going apple picking with sweet family friends as a kid and I love doing that for our kids now. 

What traditions have you tried to pass down to your kids?
Evy has always been very much a Mommy's girl. Sinc Evy has always been very much a Mommy's girl. Since she's been a baby, I've been learning that she needs love in a very different way than David does. After school and before bed, she especially needs all the love, attention, and cuddles. 

Today I had a pretty hard day with several hours of intensive Zoom calls. They ended right as the kids got home from school and when I was done, I just felt this deep exhaustion and wanted nothing more than to cuddle with my kids and never look at a computer again 🤪. 

I realized that's probably how Evy (and David, but mostly Evy) typically feels after a long day. I can tell that it's especially draining for her. So I was reminded to be extra gentle with her emotions, especially on school days when there's just so much going on and it can feel pretty intense, especially at that age. And especially to us introverts 🫠 Anyone else have highly emotional kiddos?

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Happy birthday to our 9 year old goob! We are so p Happy birthday to our 9 year old goob! We are so proud of this boy. We are constantly told by others how kind and sweet his is. I mean, we know it too, but it means even more when his character shines through even when mom and dad aren't watching. We love you so much "Puppy!"
More photos from this weekend 🍂🍏⚽ More photos from this weekend 🍂🍏⚽
The start of a new school year has always felt lik The start of a new school year has always felt like more of a “New Years” to me than January 1st ever did. The air starts getting more crisp (thank goodness), the leaves start to change, and the house is quieter (now that the kids are in school, and just during the day, ha). 

Every year around this time I can clearly look back and see how our family has changed. Last year, we had just said goodbye to the boys (our first foster placement) and our family was making sense of the whirlwind that had just happened over the summer. This year, David is way more into soccer, Evy is telling me about the conversations the girls at school are having (she’s a huge people-watcher), and of course Cleo is getting so big! Her first two teeth made their appearance this week and we’re also pretty sure she said “Dada” the other night. 

It really goes by so fast. But little memories like the ones in these photos will last. I remember going apple picking with sweet family friends as a kid and I love doing that for our kids now. 

What traditions have you tried to pass down to your kids?
Evy has always been very much a Mommy's girl. Sinc Evy has always been very much a Mommy's girl. Since she's been a baby, I've been learning that she needs love in a very different way than David does. After school and before bed, she especially needs all the love, attention, and cuddles. 

Today I had a pretty hard day with several hours of intensive Zoom calls. They ended right as the kids got home from school and when I was done, I just felt this deep exhaustion and wanted nothing more than to cuddle with my kids and never look at a computer again 🤪. 

I realized that's probably how Evy (and David, but mostly Evy) typically feels after a long day. I can tell that it's especially draining for her. So I was reminded to be extra gentle with her emotions, especially on school days when there's just so much going on and it can feel pretty intense, especially at that age. And especially to us introverts 🫠 Anyone else have highly emotional kiddos?
My phone rang this morning just as we were pulling My phone rang this morning just as we were pulling away from dropping the kids at school. A little baby needed a home until his adoptive family could come get him. 

At the time, we didn’t know his name, his gender, or anything about him. We were told he was healthy and we’d get more details later.

And we said yes! We thought it would be longer but his adoptive family is BOOKING it to get here and take him home forever. He will be so loved!!

I love that we get to share moments like these with our kids. I know they’ll remember them for a looong time to come.
Sometimes I just need to remind myself that not ev Sometimes I just need to remind myself that not every moment needs to be filled with productivity. And sometimes I don't need to multitask. Easier said than done for me anyway. But I'm trying to intentionally practice slowing down. How do you try to slow down?

Shoes @naot.northamerica
Dress @shopbohme
Butterfly hair! It's easier than it looks 🦋 Do Butterfly hair! It's easier than it looks 🦋

Doing fun hairstyles with Ev has been a new way for us to bond, especially since Cleo's joined us. Would you try this one??
I'm working to adjust my mindset from thinking I n I'm working to adjust my mindset from thinking I need to rush while the baby's asleep to get things done to rather bringing them along with me when I can. 

Cleo loves being worn and, for the time being, is super content just watching me unload the dishwasher, make dinner, or tag along to grab Evy and David from the bus. 

And I'm way more at peace when I don't feel like I need to rush or time is running out. We have time and most things we have to do in a day aren't urgent.
Baby's first taste of solids: banana edition 🍌 Baby's first taste of solids: banana edition 🍌 What was the first food you gave to your baby?
Just a Wednesday afternoon and a book 📖 👀 th Just a Wednesday afternoon and a book 📖
👀 the comfiest heels I own by @naot.northamerica 
#naotic

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