So as much as I have a love and desire to help women grow, and become totally secure in themselves, I kind of tend to get my insecure on when I’m out and about, in the gym, or just scrolling through social media. Why is that?? Here are some of the top ways I find myself comparing myself to other women. Maybe you can relate…
Yeah, you knew this was going to be on this list. I couldn’t leave it out. This may be just a personal issue but.. you know what I’m doing the whole time I’m in the gym? Looking at the other girls. And if I’m with my husband, I look to see if he notices them too. Even though I know he only has eyes for me and he’s extremely loyal and loves me, I still wonder if he notices how much more weight they can squat than I can. Or the girl that naturally has thinner thighs than me. I kind of want to pin her down and force feed her Krispy Kreams.
2 How “fun” we are
Are the loudest girls really having the most fun? Extroverted girls, you are awesome. The world needs you. Without you the world would be a much more boring place. But for quieter girls like me, I tend to feel like i am way less likely to be liked and accepted by others simply because I’m more of a “listener” rather than a “talker.” I find myself wishing all the time that I were more outgoing, that I didn’t have to think so much before I spoke, or that my words actually made as much sense coming out of my mouth as they do in my head. But the truth is, the world needs both types. We need talkers and listeners. And we’re both great for different things.
3 The most instagram-worthy homes, or cappuccinos, or hair
So every family has their own dynamic and every couple will have spoken or unspoken responsibilities. I work part time and my husband works full time and has long shifts. So most of the the cooking and cleaning is up to me. I don’t mind. If cooking was up to him, our diets would consist of cereal and PBnJ’s. Anyway, aside from being a mom, employee, blogger, and 10 other random things, I tend to think that everyone is just as, if not more, busy as me. So why isn’t my home as cutely decorated or as clean as theirs? I don’t know. Probably because I spend too much time writing and pretending the laundry pile isn’t there. The fact of the matter is, most people don’t have “minimalistic” homes. Or the energy to wake up 2 hours ahead of time in the morning to curl their hair. Or the time of day to sit down in a coffee boutique that makes a cappuccino look like art.
4 How “put-together” you are
Ever meet up with a friend and they say, “WOW girl you look great! How do you do it all?” Maybe… like once in my life? And I usually end up feeling guilty for the lie I let them believe. The truth is, that morning I let my child play in his high chair for a few extra minutes while I managed to put on some mascara and get my hair done in the same day. I’m so glad that “beachy” waves are ‘in’ because it’s a wonderful disguise for not washing your hair in 3 days.
5 Husband competition
You know the feeling you get of jealousy and a tid bit of embarrassment when your friend posts that picture of the romantic date night their boyfriend or husband planned for them while hearing yours play video games in the background? Yeah, me too. But you know what you’ll do the next time your significant other does something remotely sweet? Blow it up on social media and make all the other ladies jealous of your thriving love life. It’s ok, I’ve done it, you’ve probably done it. And it’s great to talk up your spouse in front of others. It really does miracles for their morale. But when you’re looking at those photos depicting the Disney-esque-ness of your friend’s love life, remember the last time you posted the pic of that bouquet and remember that there’s quite likely a more realistic, less rose-colored reality behind that Instagram pic.
6 How exciting/interesting/adventurous your life is
This goes back to instagram too. Funny how that is. What we need to remember is that no one posts about how they spent over an hour in an over crowded grocery store. Or at least we don’t tend to follow the people who do. We like to follow the people whose lives seem exciting, and then we put pressure on ourselves to make our own lives seem way more exciting/interesting/adventurous than they really might be. By all means, go out and enjoy life! But try your best to leave the competition at home.
So what do all these comparisons come down to? Peacocking.
Not really, but kind of.
We want to be the best to attract the best. We’re worried about being attractive to other people; being well-liked. Desiring respect isn’t just a man’s issue. Women want to be respected as well. When I first started Living the Sweet Wife, I wanted to keep it as much of a secret as possible until I gained some “success.” I didn’t tell my friends, my coworkers, I rarely even talked about it with my husband- at first. I was afraid that even though it was just starting, it would be seen as silly and not taken seriously by anyone.
We can fall so easily into the trap of comparing ourselves to others that our lives become all about how they’re represented on social media rather than actually simply enjoying the little things in life. I’ve caught myself many times trying to get a super cute snapchat of my son and then realize that I’m kind of ignoring him in my attempt to show all my friends how cute he is….
Yes, share the memories, share the beautiful moments, but remember that not everyone’s life is as glamorous as it seems, and yours doesn’t have to be either. Live in the moment and make the most of the time you have with the people you love!