• To be stronger • To feel better • To trai • To be stronger
• To feel better 
• To train my mind to know that hard things are good things
• To set an example 
• For longevity
• To get out of the house 
• To start the day on the right foot
• To listen to good music for a little while
• To have productive alone time

I just wanted to list a few "Why"s in case you were having a hard time finding yours today. Goodness knows I struggle some days but usually one of these pulls through for me ❤️

@nakd.sport
It might be a couple years later, but we're doing It might be a couple years later, but we're doing the same old stuff still today ☺️❤️
My Valentines 💘 #happyvalentinesday❤️ My Valentines 💘

#happyvalentinesday❤️
How many kids did you say you wanted growing up an How many kids did you say you wanted growing up and how many do you have (or hope for) now? Growing up I used to say I wanted 6 kids 😭💀💀 Love these babes but let's just say I have a new perspective these days 😂
The best sandles are the ones you can paint your n The best sandles are the ones you can paint your nails in 5 minutes after you should have already left 😂💅

@naotfootwear is one of my favorite all time brands for many reasons, but one of the best is the fact that when you purchase any shoe from naot.com, the order is fulfilled by the closest independent retailer to you. How genius is that?? #shopsmall #naottogether #naotic
Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has already melted but the kids woke up to the best surprise today! ❄️❄️
Healthy habits > motivation Yeh? This seamless se Healthy habits > motivation
Yeh?

This seamless set that moves everywhere you do is called The Braden by @nakd.sport 🖤
#ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity #ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink powder mix in my bag to have on the go. The elderberry drink has vitamin C, vitamin d, and zinc plus the power of 300 elderberries to help increase my immune cell production and activation. PSSST - it also is amazingly soothing as a hot drink in the evening to boost my immune system before going to sleep and allowing my body to recover overnight. Hit the link in my stories to grab a pack of @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink and gummies! Use code CHELSEA for 15% off!

#clinicalimmunity 
#lifeseasonspartner
@lifeseasons
I’ve talked about this before but never to its f I’ve talked about this before but never to its full extent. 

6ish years ago I was working full-time as a doctor’s assistant and coming home to an 8-month-old baby while Josh worked 12-hour shifts until midnight. I was so busy that I felt like I was losing my sense of identity. 

That year I decided to start my blog. I kept it a secret for a while because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to think, “Who does she think she is? We’ve known her for years and she thinks she has something to say??”

But - I loved it! I wrote posts on everything! Random pizza recipes, how my run went that day, marriage, motherhood - I had absolutely no direction. But, I started sharing my blog and got a bunch of great feedback on my marriage and family posts. So, I decided to focus on that because that was, afterall, my favorite thing to write about anyway.

A few months later, I started pinning my posts on Pinterest and educating myself on what it meant to blog well, set up posts for good SEO, how to engage an audience, etc. I had a couple posts go viral on Pinterest and for a few months I had over 350,000 views on my blog/month.

Way late in the game, I started posting to Instagram in 2017. By then we had 2 babies and I had been working with brands for a while so I was able to quit my (at the time) part-time job to stay home with them which I was stoked about! 

Later that year, we packed up our stuff and moved to WA. The original plan was for Josh to find work and for me to continue blogging & be a SAHM. But, after several months later and finding it much harder for Josh to find work than we anticipated, I told him, "Hey, don't feel bad, I don't want you to feel pressure. I will look for work to take some of the pressure off."

So, I started applying for jobs in social media and content marketing. About a month into my search I made a profile on a job-matching platform called @scouted.io. A couple weeks later, I got an email from someone at Scouted saying that they were looking for someone to help with their content and they wanted to have a conversation. 

** Continued in comments **
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Life & Finances, Motherhood · February 19, 2016

6 Ways Women Compare Themselves to Other Women

Ever meet up with a friend and they say, “WOW girl you look great! How do you do it all?” Maybe... like once in my life? And I usually end up feeling guilty for the lie I let them believe.

So as much as I have a love and desire to help women grow, and become totally secure in themselves, I kind of tend to get my insecure on when I’m out and about, in the gym, or just scrolling through social media. Why is that?? Here are some of the top ways I find myself comparing myself to other women. Maybe you can relate…

1 Body

Yeah, you knew this was going to be on this list. I couldn’t leave it out. This may be just a  personal issue but.. you know what I’m doing the whole time I’m in the gym? Looking at the other girls. And if I’m with my husband, I look to see if he notices them too. Even though I know he only has eyes for me and he’s extremely loyal and loves me, I still wonder if he notices how much more weight they can squat than I can. Or the girl that naturally has thinner thighs than me. I kind of want to pin her down and force feed her Krispy Kreams.

2 How “fun” we are

Are the loudest girls really having the most fun? Extroverted girls, you are awesome. The world needs you. Without you the world would be a much more boring place. But for quieter girls like me, I tend to feel like i am way less likely to be liked and accepted by others simply because I’m more of a “listener” rather than a “talker.” I find myself wishing all the time that I were more outgoing, that I didn’t have to think so much before I spoke, or that my words actually made as much sense coming out of my mouth as they do in my head. But the truth is, the world needs both types. We need talkers and listeners. And we’re both great for different things.

3 The most instagram-worthy homes, or cappuccinos, or hair

So every family has their own dynamic and every couple will have spoken or unspoken responsibilities. I work part time and my husband works full time and has long shifts. So most of the the cooking and cleaning is up to me. I don’t mind. If cooking was up to him, our diets would consist of cereal and PBnJ’s. Anyway, aside from being a mom, employee, blogger, and 10 other random things, I tend to think that everyone is just as, if not more, busy as me. So why isn’t my home as cutely decorated or as clean as theirs? I don’t know. Probably because I spend too much time writing and pretending the laundry pile isn’t there. The fact of the matter is, most people don’t have “minimalistic” homes. Or the energy to wake up 2 hours ahead of time in the morning to curl their hair. Or the time of day to sit down in a coffee boutique that makes a cappuccino look like art.

4 How “put-together” you are

Ever meet up with a friend and they say, “WOW girl you look great! How do you do it all?” Maybe… like once in my life? And I usually end up feeling guilty for the lie I let them believe. The truth is, that morning I let my child play in his high chair for a few extra minutes while I managed to put on some mascara and get my hair done in the same day. I’m so glad that “beachy” waves are ‘in’ because it’s a wonderful disguise for not washing your hair in 3 days.

5 Husband competition

You know the feeling you get of jealousy and a tid bit of embarrassment when your friend posts that picture of the romantic date night their boyfriend or husband planned for them while hearing yours play video games in the background? Yeah, me too. But you know what you’ll do the next time your significant other does something remotely sweet? Blow it up on social media and make all the other ladies jealous of your thriving love life. It’s ok, I’ve done it, you’ve probably done it. And it’s great to talk up your spouse in front of others. It really does miracles for their morale. But when you’re looking at those photos depicting the Disney-esque-ness of your friend’s love life, remember the last time you posted the pic of that bouquet and remember that there’s quite likely a more realistic, less rose-colored reality behind that Instagram pic.

6 How exciting/interesting/adventurous your life is

This goes back to instagram too. Funny how that is. What we need to remember is that no one posts about how they spent over an hour in an over crowded grocery store. Or at least we don’t tend to follow the people who do. We like to follow the people whose lives seem exciting, and then we put pressure on ourselves to make our own lives seem way more exciting/interesting/adventurous than they really might be. By all means, go out and enjoy life! But try your best to leave the competition at home.

So what do all these comparisons come down to? Peacocking.6 Ways women compare themselves to other women

Not really, but kind of.

We want to be the best to attract the best. We’re worried about being attractive to other people; being well-liked. Desiring respect isn’t just a man’s issue. Women want to be respected as well. When I first started Living the Sweet Wife, I wanted to keep it as much of a secret as possible until I gained some “success.” I didn’t tell my friends, my coworkers, I rarely even talked about it with my husband- at first. I was afraid that even though it was just starting, it would be seen as silly and not taken seriously by anyone.

We can fall so easily into the trap of comparing ourselves to others that our lives become all about how they’re represented on social media rather than actually simply enjoying the little things in life. I’ve caught myself many times trying to get a super cute snapchat of my son and then realize that I’m kind of ignoring him in my attempt to show all my friends how cute he is….

Yes, share the memories, share the beautiful moments, but remember that not everyone’s life is as glamorous as it seems, and yours doesn’t have to be either. Live in the moment and make the most of the time you have with the people you love!

What are some ways you find yourself comparing yourself to others? On what form of social media do you see the most competition? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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In: Life & Finances, Motherhood · Tagged: comparison, competition, jealousy, life, motherhood, peacocking, social media

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Comments

  1. Raymond says

    February 19, 2016 at 6:08 am

    I really liked this – it’s interesting how girls compare to each other in different ways. I mean I knew you did that but it’s really nice to get a females snapshot perspective. Number 2 was great. You’ll find the listeners to be the best ever! Because you listeners sit a dissect us. You let us boom our ego out, and you sit there and take it all in. Yet because you’ve listened intently you know exactly how to play to our strengths! Whereas loud, fun girls shout over us!

    Ahh. Don’t we all love social media? You’ll find the biggest sharers of their “super-romantic” lifestyle and awesomely super clean house do it to distract themselves from how empty they really feel. Everyone has a story, and nothing is perfect. But you knew that anyway 🙂

    This may be a title for my next post – how men compare themselves to each other because we do it SO differently lol

    Reply
  2. Cassandra says

    February 19, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    Comparison is the thief of joy. Whenever I start to fall into that trap, I remind myself of those true words. It’s hard those! Especially as women, comparing ourselves and our lives to those of others is just a natural response.

    Reply
  3. Maria says

    February 19, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    I don’t pay too much attention to women who like to compare so much… I am true to myself and hope that others around me are the same. I distance myself from women who like to gossip about others – not my style.

    Reply
  4. Lisa says

    February 19, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    I do this a lot unfortunately, but I would never compare my husband to another man. It’s more about me really and what makes my different.

    Reply
  5. Katie @ Talk Less, Say More says

    February 19, 2016 at 5:33 pm

    Ugh, I can relate way more than I’d care to admit, but it’s so true! As women we need to learn to be confident in who we are and STOP the comparison!

    Reply
  6. Jessica Bradshaw says

    February 19, 2016 at 6:00 pm

    I am an elementary school counselor, and I see this all the way down to kindergarten. I believe in awareness. If you are aware that you do those things, you should work on changing your thoughts. One way or another, we all compare, but I really try to highlight those things about others that I admire. Rather than comparing, I encourage and draw attention to those things/work on the things I need to for myself. This article was so well written and true about so many different things. 🙂 Great job, girlie!

    Reply
  7. Kalyn says

    February 19, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    I think women in general are so bad about comparing themselves to other women. It’s like this innate nature we have and we don’t even realize it. When I see something that makes me jealous or wish I had some aspect of their lives, I just have to remember all the things I DO have in my life!

    Reply
  8. Jackie @ My Sort Of Adult Life says

    February 19, 2016 at 6:40 pm

    I’m guilty of doing all of these at some point. I think all women struggle with insecurity here and there but as long as we don’t dwell on it and support each other we can make it through it! It does make me feel better when I hear I’m not the only one so thank you!

    Reply
  9. Yanique says

    February 19, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    The comparison trap is the worst thing! I find myself getting caught up in it sometimes when I’m scrolling through my instagram feed and see all the fun things my single friends are doing. The grass always LOOKS greener on the other side.

    Reply
  10. Allie says

    February 19, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    I am so guilty of all of these. Isn’t it funny how we as women get sucked into doing this to ourselves? What I seem to have a hard time remembering is that what I see on the outside isn’t necessarily what’s going on on the inside. Definitely grass is greener syndrome.

    Reply
  11. Tracy says

    February 19, 2016 at 7:43 pm

    Why do we as women put ourselves thru this? I’m guilty of all of them. I’ve been struggling with #2 but for me I wish I could listen more and talk less. I wish I could think more before I speak. Think about how my words could do more harm then good to the person hearing them. It’s a slow process but I’m realizing I don’t need to voice my opinion or thoughts about everything. That less is more.

    Reply
  12. Kelsie says

    February 19, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    Yes yes yes! I always say that comparison is the thief of joy. I have to stop and remind myself that the gifts I’ve been given are good and fun and wonderful. Thanks so much for sharing!

    Reply
  13. ashley Lee says

    February 19, 2016 at 9:30 pm

    I realized that if I sit and compare myself to other women and mamas it makes me think I am worthless. Honestly. I miss out on my precious moments I am given because I am obsessing over what this mama has, that mama’s house, or how put together another mama is. “/

    Reply
  14. C. Elleanor says

    February 19, 2016 at 10:51 pm

    My cousin and I were just talking about the insecurities women have and why insecure men sometimes frustrate us and we named pretty much everything you’ve listed about women lol! I’m always trying to “kill” the “highlight reel” that we see on social media platforms like instagram because that’s not real life (well for me it isn’t lol). Being in society that is so visually obsessed, #3 is one that I see many women struggling with in regards to comparison.

    Reply
  15. Aishwarya S says

    February 20, 2016 at 12:40 am

    So true! I usually thunk about how cool others are. Should really stop doing that!

    Reply
  16. Aishwarya S says

    February 20, 2016 at 12:41 am

    So true! I usually think about how cool others are. Should really stop doing that!

    Reply
  17. Jill @ RunEatSnap says

    February 20, 2016 at 12:53 am

    So true! Social media makes it so much worse. “Comparing someone else’s highlight reel to your bloopers reel” pretty much sums up the whole scheme of social media. It can be depressing!

    Reply
  18. Taylor says

    February 20, 2016 at 4:10 am

    I tend to compare myself to people I watch on YouTube/tv. It’s soo bad, I know it.

    Reply
  19. world cup t20 2016 schedule says

    February 20, 2016 at 11:45 am

    Hello there! This article could not be written much better!
    Going through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He continually kept preaching about this. I will
    send this post to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a very good read.
    Many thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  20. Christy F says

    February 20, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    I definitely compare myself to other women by my body and how outgoing other girls are. I completely agree with you with the “how fun we are” portion, I’m the exact same way and I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels insecure in situations with very outgoing girls. I was in one of those situations the other weekend while hanging out with my boyfriends friends and their girlfriends. Those girls were loud and appeared to be having a “blast”! I hadn’t met them before so I was even more shy and laid back then normal. I usually get louder when I’m with my close friends but with people I’m not close to- I tend to be shy and just listen. My boyfriend kept asking whether I was okay or not which I was, but that kind of made it feel worse so I definitely felt insecure about my demeanor and kept wondering why I can’t be more like those girls. Its hard to come to the realization that I’m not like them and that it is okay to not be like them. Like you said the world needs both types! Great post by the way, I’m pretty sure I can relate to all of those!

    Reply
  21. dixya @ food, pleasure, and health says

    February 20, 2016 at 4:34 pm

    i think this is a topic everyone can relate to…and i feel like the comparison is different in each stage of life. back in college, it was all about who partied/was popular…and now im at a phase where its all about perfect marriage and kids and having it all..oh and dont even get me started on IG coffee and perfect house.

    Reply
  22. Lexi says

    February 22, 2016 at 12:51 am

    Oh my gosh, yes to all of these! It’s so crazy that women do this. Instagram photos are so not real life!

    Reply
  23. Erica @ Coming Up Roses says

    February 22, 2016 at 3:50 am

    Comparison is really the thief of joy. It’s toxic! It boils down to insecurities, and we just owe ourselves better! We’ve gotta stop ourselves in our tracks and nix the comparisons. It’s too easy to let them ruin us!

    Coming Up Roses

    Reply
  24. Ashley says

    February 22, 2016 at 5:14 am

    I notice a lot of this has to do with social media! Social media is amazing but can also be an enemy!

    Reply
  25. Ashley says

    February 22, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    Yes, yes, and yes! It is so hard not to compare sometimes, but the truth is that the majority of us only show one side of our lives when we are telling stories. Unless we are talking to someone who we are very close with, we usually don’t complain or show our imperfections. Reality is that we are all imperfect and you never know what is going on in someone else’s life. Awesome post! I nominated you for a Liebster Award! I would love it if you would accept and take part (if you haven’t already). Here is my link. http://www.mommywantscoffee.com/mommy-wants-coffee-gets-a-liebster-award/

    Reply
  26. Nikki @ Darling Lovebirds says

    February 25, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    I really liked reading this blog post! I find that I compare myself to others a lot. The points you made were really good! Thank you for sharing this!

    Reply
  27. Vivek Sharma says

    March 11, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    Really good point of what a woman compares themselves to others. thanks for sharing the information.

    Reply

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    […] her! Haha. Anyway. I know a fair bit about women through observing my wife; however, reading one of Chelsea’s latest posts that I stumbled upon through Pinterest. I read that women compare themselves to each other. Now I […]

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Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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• To be stronger • To feel better • To trai • To be stronger
• To feel better 
• To train my mind to know that hard things are good things
• To set an example 
• For longevity
• To get out of the house 
• To start the day on the right foot
• To listen to good music for a little while
• To have productive alone time

I just wanted to list a few "Why"s in case you were having a hard time finding yours today. Goodness knows I struggle some days but usually one of these pulls through for me ❤️

@nakd.sport
It might be a couple years later, but we're doing It might be a couple years later, but we're doing the same old stuff still today ☺️❤️
My Valentines 💘 #happyvalentinesday❤️ My Valentines 💘

#happyvalentinesday❤️
How many kids did you say you wanted growing up an How many kids did you say you wanted growing up and how many do you have (or hope for) now? Growing up I used to say I wanted 6 kids 😭💀💀 Love these babes but let's just say I have a new perspective these days 😂

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  • So I know the title of this post says, “What men want most in a wife,” but to be more realistic, this is about what men need most in a wife. Like men, there are a lot of things that we (women) would really like in a husband. Like, it’d be a huge plus if he looked like Chris Hemsworth. But that’s not really what we need in order to have a positive relationship with our spouse. If we married him, we probably think he’s pretty cute, anyway. Take a look at these 5 things a man really needs in a wife, and if you can think of anything else, share your thoughts in the comments below! 5 Things men want most in a wife
  • Do you ever wish that sometimes you could just write a long list to your spouse of all the things he does that drive you insane?? I have done this. 8 of the Worst Marriage Habits
  • Disrespect in marriage can go both ways. Women can react to disrespect from their husbands in many ways. I'm here to share a few positive ways women can react to disrespect in their marriages in order to handle it well and steer their marriage in the direction of grace and kindness again. How to Handle Disrespect in Marriage
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• To be stronger • To feel better • To trai • To be stronger
• To feel better 
• To train my mind to know that hard things are good things
• To set an example 
• For longevity
• To get out of the house 
• To start the day on the right foot
• To listen to good music for a little while
• To have productive alone time

I just wanted to list a few "Why"s in case you were having a hard time finding yours today. Goodness knows I struggle some days but usually one of these pulls through for me ❤️

@nakd.sport
It might be a couple years later, but we're doing It might be a couple years later, but we're doing the same old stuff still today ☺️❤️
My Valentines 💘 #happyvalentinesday❤️ My Valentines 💘

#happyvalentinesday❤️
How many kids did you say you wanted growing up an How many kids did you say you wanted growing up and how many do you have (or hope for) now? Growing up I used to say I wanted 6 kids 😭💀💀 Love these babes but let's just say I have a new perspective these days 😂
The best sandles are the ones you can paint your n The best sandles are the ones you can paint your nails in 5 minutes after you should have already left 😂💅

@naotfootwear is one of my favorite all time brands for many reasons, but one of the best is the fact that when you purchase any shoe from naot.com, the order is fulfilled by the closest independent retailer to you. How genius is that?? #shopsmall #naottogether #naotic
Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has Ok well by the time I'm posting this our snow has already melted but the kids woke up to the best surprise today! ❄️❄️
Healthy habits > motivation Yeh? This seamless se Healthy habits > motivation
Yeh?

This seamless set that moves everywhere you do is called The Braden by @nakd.sport 🖤
#ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity #ad I love to pack @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink powder mix in my bag to have on the go. The elderberry drink has vitamin C, vitamin d, and zinc plus the power of 300 elderberries to help increase my immune cell production and activation. PSSST - it also is amazingly soothing as a hot drink in the evening to boost my immune system before going to sleep and allowing my body to recover overnight. Hit the link in my stories to grab a pack of @lifeseasons Clinical Immunity Elderberry Drink and gummies! Use code CHELSEA for 15% off!

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I’ve talked about this before but never to its f I’ve talked about this before but never to its full extent. 

6ish years ago I was working full-time as a doctor’s assistant and coming home to an 8-month-old baby while Josh worked 12-hour shifts until midnight. I was so busy that I felt like I was losing my sense of identity. 

That year I decided to start my blog. I kept it a secret for a while because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to think, “Who does she think she is? We’ve known her for years and she thinks she has something to say??”

But - I loved it! I wrote posts on everything! Random pizza recipes, how my run went that day, marriage, motherhood - I had absolutely no direction. But, I started sharing my blog and got a bunch of great feedback on my marriage and family posts. So, I decided to focus on that because that was, afterall, my favorite thing to write about anyway.

A few months later, I started pinning my posts on Pinterest and educating myself on what it meant to blog well, set up posts for good SEO, how to engage an audience, etc. I had a couple posts go viral on Pinterest and for a few months I had over 350,000 views on my blog/month.

Way late in the game, I started posting to Instagram in 2017. By then we had 2 babies and I had been working with brands for a while so I was able to quit my (at the time) part-time job to stay home with them which I was stoked about! 

Later that year, we packed up our stuff and moved to WA. The original plan was for Josh to find work and for me to continue blogging & be a SAHM. But, after several months later and finding it much harder for Josh to find work than we anticipated, I told him, "Hey, don't feel bad, I don't want you to feel pressure. I will look for work to take some of the pressure off."

So, I started applying for jobs in social media and content marketing. About a month into my search I made a profile on a job-matching platform called @scouted.io. A couple weeks later, I got an email from someone at Scouted saying that they were looking for someone to help with their content and they wanted to have a conversation. 

** Continued in comments **
Honest question: Do you spend any part of your day Honest question: Do you spend any part of your day feeling uncomfortable?

🤔 If no, why not?

🤔 If yes, why? What is it that you do to feel uncomfortable?

Putting ourselves in situations where we feel uncomfortable is so unnatural. The brain is WIRED to find the easiest way, the path of least resistance, to feel safe.

But if we let that go so long unchecked, we're likely to find ourselves in a comfortable routine where nothing changes and we begin to feel apathetic about our own progress and the world around us.

✖️ Choosing to not attend (and have a voice in) important meetings because it's easier to get a memo about it later.

 ✖️ Choosing not to get coffee with a person because it could get awkward if you don't know what to say.

✖️ Snoozing the alarm rather than waking up earlier to workout and make health a priority. 

✖️ Not approaching a homeless person with a bag of lunch because it's hard to look them in the eye when you have so much. 

✖️ Avoiding inviting a friend or family member into your home for an extended period of time so they can get back on their feet.

Being uncomfortable opens your eyes!! It's even scary sometimes. But it always leads to progress. It's impossible to grow without making yourself uncomfortable in some way.

What's something you've done recently that felt uncomfortable?

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