Anyone see our other kids lately?? 😜 You know, Anyone see our other kids lately?? 😜 You know, it's so funny how some parts of the newborn phase have been like muscle memory and others have been like we've had our first born all over again. 

We were worried about how David and Evy would feel with this new family member but they have been so sweet that it brings tears to my eyes to put it into words. I was especially worried about Ev being supplanted as the youngest but, honestly, being the big sister suits her SO well and I think she's been loving it, too. 

I've also loved getting to experience this again with Josh. The way you band together during the newborn phase especially is very bonding. You rely on each other deeply and it's not always cute or pretty. 

Super grateful 💗
To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going to think she has the coolest, smartest, bravest big siblings in the world, and she's not wrong 😉
She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early on Saturday March 11 at 1:52 in the morning. 

Josh and I just had a feeling about that day (Friday), so we kept the kids out of school, went out to breakfast, and just spent our last day together as a family of four. 

My contractions started right after my 38 week appointment that morning and progressed throughout the day until around 4pm when I thought, "Mmk, I'm starting to really need to breathe through these. Better go in."

I was so convinced they were going to turn us away that it really didn't hit me that we were actually going to meet our girl that night until we'd been there for a few hours already. 

Baby girl ended up being 7lbs 15oz and 20in long!

We are all so in love. David and Evy are OBSESSED. A few times their friends have come to the door to ask them to play and they've said they'd rather stay home with the baby 😄

We are so blessed and thankful for this little girl ❤️
How to use a French hair pin. I love these things How to use a French hair pin. I love these things because they can hold up even my thick and chunky hair and I don't have a large clip sticking off the back of my head (don't get me wrong, I love a good hair clip, too)! Have you tried one yet??
This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m s This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m so grateful for it.

On the one hand, there’s so much to do to get ready for little one to join us—it’s been a while since we’ve had a newborn! I’m spending most of my free time writing and nesting, nesting and writing. 

And then on the other hand, I’m feeling pretty ready to have my body back. And by that, I mean just to be done literally sharing it with another being. You start to miss things after a while like being able to breathe when you lay on your back or not getting indigestion for eating a few grapes. 

Overall, there’s so much to be thankful for. Each little inconvenience is a blessing and I’m happy they’re there. I’ll also be happy when they’re over. For now, I’m just savoring being a mom of “older kids” (8 and going on 6) that can grab their own snacks from time to time and put on their own shoes. We’re going to be heading back to square one in a couple months and I’m sure there’s a lot we’ve forgotten!
Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️
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divorce & separation, engaged, Marriage, Relationships · May 5, 2016

The biggest decision you will make before you get married.

I cannot say enough about the value of having a somber and realistic view of that man across from you. The man you choose to marry (or chose to marry) will let you down one day. He will do something that hurts you. And it probably won’t happen just once. Knowing this, we have decisions to make.

When you were younger, did you ever read love quotes that went something along the lines of this:

The biggest decision you will make before you get married. The biggest decision you will make before you get married.

I think that many times, we grow up thinking that there is one perfect person out there for us. So many people believe that, in fact, that I wrote a post on it here. Instead, I believe the person we marry becomes the one once we marry them; therefore, leaving us without an excuse when our marriage begins to not jive the way it used to when we were younger and happier. We don’t have the thought lurking around our minds that “the one” is still out there somewhere and we sadly missed our chance. Instead, your chance is sitting right in front of you and waiting for you to take it, nurture it, give it some tough love, and stick with it.

BUT that’s not exactly what this post is about.

Today I’m going to be talking about why my husband is not my everything. And he does not complete me.

Along with the thought that there is the perfect “one” out there for you, lies the notion that he, in fact, perfects you. In the back of your mind you know you’re not perfect. You also can admit that, yeah, your significant other isn’t perfect all the time either. You both make mistakes, right? But- mistakes included, your flaws and strengths are what make you perfect for each other!

Until you get married. And then they don’t.

The sad thing is, on many a young woman’s wedding day is the thought that she couldn’t be happier with the man she’s about to say her vows to. Sad? That’s not sad…. Ok. you’re right. That’s not what’s sad. What’s sad is the assumption that she is still going to feel the same way a year from those vows. Or 5 years, or 10 years.

Not to burst your bubble or anything…

… but those cute, annoying habits he has now that you don’t really notice, will (or probably have) become the outward effects of a character trait that drives you up the freaking wall. And while it’s not a sad thing to feel extremely happy, blessed, and optimistic about your future on your wedding day, I cannot say enough about the value of having a somber and realistic view of that man across from you. The man you choose to marry (or chose to marry) will let you down one day. He will do something that hurts you. And it probably won’t happen just once. Knowing this, we have decisions to make.

Some of the best marriage advice:

One of the best pieced of marriage advice I ever got was this: Decide now (before you’re married) what it would take to break you and your husband up. What would he have to do in order for you to leave him? (And then take a look at his character and see if he is the type of person who would run away from the temptations to do those things).

That doesn’t mean he’s doomed to be a horrible person

I love my husband so much. Seriously. When we got married, I knew some of his flaws. It’s not like he had never hurt me or offended me or annoyed me before that point. But for some reason, wanting to marry him made a lot of the things he did really, really forgivable. I’ve always been a sucker for apologies too. Several years later, I find that it’s not so easy to forgive the hurt. Because it’s not the first time, and I know it’s probably not the last. What’s really easy is holding on to my resentment, self-righteous attitude, and pain in order for me to feel better about my own unforgiveness. Because, I think you know, forgiveness is really really hard. Really hard. Because it means you’re not getting justice. And as humans, we crave justice. Forgiveness is never something we really feel like doing. Forgiveness is something we feel like kicking out the door and running away from. But the truth is, a marriage will never ever work if the husband and wife do not learn how to forgive and make the decision to forgive before it’s necessary.

Make the decision to forgive before it becomes necessary #marriage #relationships
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You decide how you will act, before you have to.

I mean, hopefully everything works out fine. In some marriages, it does. But in reality, marriages don’t just “work out.” Marriages take a lot of sweat and tears sometimes. Sometimes your marriage will make you feel sucky. Just being honest. But if both you and your husband are committed to making it work and willing to self-sacrifice and forgive, then yeah, it’ll work out just fine. Marriages, although hard sometimes, really don’t have to be difficult. They just take the mutual understanding that neither of you is going to quit, neither of you will ever be perfect, and both of you are going to need to be forgiven, many times.

Marriages, although hard sometimes, really don’t have to be difficult. #marriage #relationships
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The oxymoron of knowing that your spouse doesn’t complete you

Knowing that your husband does not and will never complete you is actually a pretty freeing thought to apprehend.

A man is a man, he cannot be everything.

Have any of you made the decision like the one I mentioned above? What helps give you the strength to forgive even when you really don’t feel like it? Let me know in the comments below!

Share this post with someone who is preparing to make their marriage vows soon!
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In: divorce & separation, engaged, Marriage, Relationships · Tagged: before, character, decision, divorce, engaged, forgiveness, husband, marriage, wife

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Comments

  1. Elyse says

    May 5, 2016 at 3:24 pm

    Spot on! I couldn’t have said it better myself!

  2. Blossom says

    May 5, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    Really feeling the last quote: A man is a man; he cannot be everything. I’m not one to put my man on a pedestal, but I do cherish the amount of energy and commitment he gives me. Nonetheless, this is very sound advice. It’s a reality check because everything isn’t always going to be perfect.

    • Chelsea says

      May 10, 2016 at 5:03 pm

      Thanks Blossom! It’s really hard to come to the point where we might need to reevaluate our expectations for out husbands but sometimes it’s really necessary in order to have peace. Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. Christy F says

    May 5, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    This is what I needed to read today, thank you! Last night my boyfriend and I finished moving everything into our apartment. This is the first time either of us have lived with a significant other. I grew up in a strict Christian family so I know it is a big no no to live with someone before marriage, but he was raised differently and sees it as being the next step before marriage. We decided to compromise on it with the promise of marriage in the end- I told him that I’m not going to a couple who gets comfortable and lives with each other for 4 plus years without marriage. Anyways now that we are more serious it almost seems like we are married. I’m already beginning to see certain habits that might annoy me down the road so this was a great read and gave me some good perspective. I really appreciate you sharing the best marriage advice. I really think that is important especially with our society today. It seems like a lot of couples focus on all the little meaningless things that bug them about their significant other/spouse which ends up ruining the relationship/marriage, but I think it is important to focus on a huge thing that would literally make it or break it, to help put those little things behind in perspective. Usually we forget those annoyances in a few days/ months depending on how much they mean to us. I agree with you on how forgiveness is hard but in all honesty.. In the end I thing it is almost easier to forgive then hold onto the grudge and stay mad at them. I often get in that mad and grudge mode and find myself being exhausted afterwards thinking of other annoyances that happened in the past… sometimes I even forget the actual thing that triggered it! I’m trying to do better about avoiding in getting into that mode, forgiveness is key on both ends.

    • Chelsea says

      May 10, 2016 at 5:05 pm

      SO true, holding grudges can be exhausting. I’ve found myself holding grudges when I didn’t even want to anymore! But my pride was making me hold on. That’s when relationships get really tough. Glad you’ve been able to work though those things in your relationship!
      Chels

  4. Brittany Putman says

    May 9, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    So true! If we rely on our husbands for everything then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. This is definitely something we should think about.

  5. Travel Pockets says

    May 9, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    Definitely things to think about for people who are planning on marriage.

  6. Maryann says

    May 10, 2016 at 2:18 am

    The sentence that hit home was ” forgiveness is hard because it means your not getting justice”. Unless both forgive and commit to making it work it won’t. My husband of eighteen years just decided to quit.
    You are so right you cannot talk to a wall.

    • Chelsea says

      May 10, 2016 at 5:08 pm

      I’m so sorry to hear that, Maryann. My heart hurts for you. Forgiveness is so hard. We just need to remember that Christ will take care of the justice for us and in the meantime, we can draw strength, resilience, and forgiveness from Him. Thank you for reading and taking the time to share!

  7. Angie - WhippedGreenGirl says

    August 2, 2016 at 10:03 pm

    Whoa- I might not have the same story but I related to this post on so many levels. I recently left (the man who I planned on marrying) after almost 9yrs. It was awakening, empowering and the best decision in my life. I always wanted him to be something he wasn’t – if I had married him, I never would have been truly happy (but rather settling…) I’m engaged today to my best friend – sure I’m 34yrs old & saw all my friends marry years back… But I know my decision was the right one for me. Thanks for sharing something so personal- I appreciated it all

  8. Shahen says

    January 23, 2018 at 8:11 am

    I’ve been married for 8 years now and this was the best marriage advice I’ve heard SINCE. Thanks.

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Hi! I'm Chelsea and we're the Damon's. We spent the last two years in WA state paying off student loans and just bought our first house in SC! I love a smooth black coffee, Josh's first love is the Seattle Sounders. Our kids are huge dorks and constantly make us laugh and we all love spending as much time outside as possible.

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Anyone see our other kids lately?? 😜 You know, Anyone see our other kids lately?? 😜 You know, it's so funny how some parts of the newborn phase have been like muscle memory and others have been like we've had our first born all over again. 

We were worried about how David and Evy would feel with this new family member but they have been so sweet that it brings tears to my eyes to put it into words. I was especially worried about Ev being supplanted as the youngest but, honestly, being the big sister suits her SO well and I think she's been loving it, too. 

I've also loved getting to experience this again with Josh. The way you band together during the newborn phase especially is very bonding. You rely on each other deeply and it's not always cute or pretty. 

Super grateful 💗
To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going to think she has the coolest, smartest, bravest big siblings in the world, and she's not wrong 😉
She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early on Saturday March 11 at 1:52 in the morning. 

Josh and I just had a feeling about that day (Friday), so we kept the kids out of school, went out to breakfast, and just spent our last day together as a family of four. 

My contractions started right after my 38 week appointment that morning and progressed throughout the day until around 4pm when I thought, "Mmk, I'm starting to really need to breathe through these. Better go in."

I was so convinced they were going to turn us away that it really didn't hit me that we were actually going to meet our girl that night until we'd been there for a few hours already. 

Baby girl ended up being 7lbs 15oz and 20in long!

We are all so in love. David and Evy are OBSESSED. A few times their friends have come to the door to ask them to play and they've said they'd rather stay home with the baby 😄

We are so blessed and thankful for this little girl ❤️
How to use a French hair pin. I love these things How to use a French hair pin. I love these things because they can hold up even my thick and chunky hair and I don't have a large clip sticking off the back of my head (don't get me wrong, I love a good hair clip, too)! Have you tried one yet??

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Anyone see our other kids lately?? 😜 You know, Anyone see our other kids lately?? 😜 You know, it's so funny how some parts of the newborn phase have been like muscle memory and others have been like we've had our first born all over again. 

We were worried about how David and Evy would feel with this new family member but they have been so sweet that it brings tears to my eyes to put it into words. I was especially worried about Ev being supplanted as the youngest but, honestly, being the big sister suits her SO well and I think she's been loving it, too. 

I've also loved getting to experience this again with Josh. The way you band together during the newborn phase especially is very bonding. You rely on each other deeply and it's not always cute or pretty. 

Super grateful 💗
To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going To the best big brother and sister. Cleo is going to think she has the coolest, smartest, bravest big siblings in the world, and she's not wrong 😉
She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early She's here 🌷 Cleo Renée was born 2 weeks early on Saturday March 11 at 1:52 in the morning. 

Josh and I just had a feeling about that day (Friday), so we kept the kids out of school, went out to breakfast, and just spent our last day together as a family of four. 

My contractions started right after my 38 week appointment that morning and progressed throughout the day until around 4pm when I thought, "Mmk, I'm starting to really need to breathe through these. Better go in."

I was so convinced they were going to turn us away that it really didn't hit me that we were actually going to meet our girl that night until we'd been there for a few hours already. 

Baby girl ended up being 7lbs 15oz and 20in long!

We are all so in love. David and Evy are OBSESSED. A few times their friends have come to the door to ask them to play and they've said they'd rather stay home with the baby 😄

We are so blessed and thankful for this little girl ❤️
How to use a French hair pin. I love these things How to use a French hair pin. I love these things because they can hold up even my thick and chunky hair and I don't have a large clip sticking off the back of my head (don't get me wrong, I love a good hair clip, too)! Have you tried one yet??
This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m s This season of waiting has been weird. But I’m so grateful for it.

On the one hand, there’s so much to do to get ready for little one to join us—it’s been a while since we’ve had a newborn! I’m spending most of my free time writing and nesting, nesting and writing. 

And then on the other hand, I’m feeling pretty ready to have my body back. And by that, I mean just to be done literally sharing it with another being. You start to miss things after a while like being able to breathe when you lay on your back or not getting indigestion for eating a few grapes. 

Overall, there’s so much to be thankful for. Each little inconvenience is a blessing and I’m happy they’re there. I’ll also be happy when they’re over. For now, I’m just savoring being a mom of “older kids” (8 and going on 6) that can grab their own snacks from time to time and put on their own shoes. We’re going to be heading back to square one in a couple months and I’m sure there’s a lot we’ve forgotten!
Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill Naturally, when we see a need, we rush in to fill it and fix it. On top of this, it’s hard for us to ask for help because we don’t want to be a burden to others. 

But in the process of meeting everyone else’s needs and neglecting our own (especially our need for rest), we often become bitter towards the ones we’re helping.

Instead, one of the best things we can do as a wife or mother is to assess our own needs and make sure to leave space to meet them ourself or to ask for what we need. 

It might be time to rest, help with the next meal, time alone to pray and meditate on God’s word, or allowing yourself to leave a task un-done so you can “selfishly” enjoy a hobby of yours like the rest of your family gets to do. 

In the end, making room to find joy each day may be one of the best things you do for your relationships.
30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet yo 30 weeks and counting down the days til we meet you. We *think* we've finally settled on a first name after non-stop back-and-forth and brainstorming. Any guesses?? Or.. what are your favorite baby girl names right now??
Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be s Saturday highlights 🖤 We've been trying to be super intentional with the time we spend with David and Evy recently, knowing that big changes are just around the corner! We pray with them, ask them what questions they have, take the time to explain things. I'm hoping they'll be set up pretty well for the transition of little sis coming in March but most of the work will happen after she gets here! How did you help littles prepare for baby?
Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️ Merry Christmas from the Damons! ❤️
The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊 The 12+ hour drive is worth it 😊

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