How I Defeated Codependency and Pornography Addiction

What’s a girl to do when she’s the only one she knows who struggles with porography? I knew I couldn’t be the only one. But I still had no idea who to talk to or what to do. Not only that, but I found myself being terrified of being single and latched myself onto anyone who would show affection.

How I came from a pornography addiction and co-dependence to writing a Christian marriage and relationship blog

So while equality for women is kind of a huge talking point right now, the thing I’m going to talk to you about in this post still veers towards taboo, for women that is.

I mean, everyone knows men struggle with lust and pornography. A lot of people would think that, more often than not, those things go hand in hand. But we women? Na, we’re better than that. Or maybe a better word for it is “purer” than that.

Except for when we’re really actually not. Then what? What’s a (Christian) girl supposed to do when she’s struggling with something that only boys and men struggle with?

Stay quiet about it. Or at the very least, skirt around it by saying, “I struggle with lust…” during those intimate sharing moments at women’s’ Bible study. And then stare at the ground hoping no one actually knows what you really mean by “lust” but at the same time really really hope you’re not the only one.

Growing up, pornography was not the only area I struggled in. In high school I had not one, not two, not three, but four boyfriends. Except if you knew me, you never would have thought I was the type of girl to date around. And I wasn’t, really. I think the shortest of all those relationships lasted 7 months (yeah, I didn’t like being single for long). I like to blame it on my INFP status (Meyers Briggs, anyone?) and being the type of person who always longs for deep intimacy and closeness with a person. And while I’m extremely blessed to say I was a virgin on my wedding night, there was a lot of fooling around that went down before that night, even with lucky boyfriend number five.

He wasn’t really lucky, though. He was actually really, really different.

  What’s a girl to do when she’s the only one she knows who struggles with porography? I knew I couldn’t be the only one. But I still had no idea who to talk to or what to do. Not only that, but I found myself being terrified of being single and latched myself onto anyone who would show affection.

 

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